Sister in law bridal shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're absolutely right, not attending this bridal shower would be a selfish and foolish choice. This is your boyfriend's brother's fiancée - that makes her family, and family should always come first. Skipping out on a family event like this just to avoid some mild discomfort is childish and will reflect very poorly on you. How do you think your boyfriend will feel if you don't go? Do you want him to be put in the awkward position of defending you to his family and causing stress? A good girlfriend supports her partner's family, she doesn't make life more difficult.

Excuse me? I haven’t made life difficult I go to everything no matter what. Even if her whole family was rude to me for no reason. She never comes to anything I do for my boyfriend or for our daughter. I have finals that week to me it’s so well with my finals or go where I’m not even appreciated. I like how she is allowed to treat me however but the minute I’m like maybe I don’t want to give all my energy like always I’m the issue. If anyone is causing issues no one cares if she doesn’t show up or is kind to me. So coming at me like I’m a bad girlfriend is crap honestly I’ve gone out of my way. I text her always on birthdays and other days, sent her flowers when a hard time, I give gifts to her even when she doesn’t to me. I’m exhausted being nice and putting everyone first

Then you don’t deserve him.

Ok you are just someone who has old views and just likes to troll and be rude to people. I’ve literally done so much for him and his family and somehow I don’t deserve him?

[Anonymous]

This bridal shower is going to be the event of the year, and you simply can't pass up an opportunity like this to make cherished memories that will last a lifetime! Now put on your pearl necklace, grab a bottle of champagne and get ready to celebrate like it's 1952 again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not young and only ever get invited by mother in law, she doesn’t even come to my daughters birthday parties we invite her too. I feel like just because I don’t go shouldn’t change the relationship between my mother in law and I especially when I wasn’t the one to constantly treat her bad even when she treated me horrible.

I wouldn’t go. This isn’t your mother in law. It’s boyfriend’s mom.

I feel like there’s more to the story because you have a kid and aren’t married but seem to get involved with his family.

Uhhh him and I have a child together it’s our child; there isn’t more to the story? She calls herself my mother-in-law and I’m viewed as family. We are getting engaged soon we made a ring together. I’m involved with his family because we are together uhhh what??? Lol. Her and I have been around for the same amount of time and even my boyfriend doesn’t always like the way she treats me.

That’s even more reason to go, you’ll really look ridiculous if you don’t.

[Anonymous]

Look, I know attending this bridal shower is about as appealing as a root canal, given the way the bride has treated you. But the fact is, your future MIL was kind enough to extend an invitation, and that means something. She's making an effort to build some goodwill between you two, and skipping out could damage your relationship and cause hurt feelings. As much as you'd rather avoid it, sometimes we have to do things we don't want to for the sake of family. Think of this as an opportunity: smile, bring a thoughtful gift, and kill her with kindness. Show your future MIL what a poised, gracious woman she's welcomed into the family. And who knows, maybe princess bridezilla over there will see you in a new light! But a couple of hours playing nice could pay off in the long run. Take a friend for moral support if you need to.

[Anonymous]

Skip the bridal shower, OP. Don’t worry about it and don’t feel bad.

Fwiw, the person throwing the shower does the inviting, not the person for whom the shower is thrown. So it makes sense her mom would be the one to invite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're absolutely right, not attending this bridal shower would be a selfish and foolish choice. This is your boyfriend's brother's fiancée - that makes her family, and family should always come first. Skipping out on a family event like this just to avoid some mild discomfort is childish and will reflect very poorly on you. How do you think your boyfriend will feel if you don't go? Do you want him to be put in the awkward position of defending you to his family and causing stress? A good girlfriend supports her partner's family, she doesn't make life more difficult.

OP is a single mom. She is not the bride to be etc. There is no reason for her to go to the bridal shower when the bride to be as well as her bf's mom have not been kind to her. She can feign illness and send her gift.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you jealous that you’re not married to the father of your child?

[Anonymous]

Are you going to be marrying into this family? If so, at the very least, send a gift along with your regrets. If you believe this is a person who will be in your life for a long time, attend the shower. A polite gesture can go along way to smoothing out a relationship. No one said you two have to be best friends. Be the bigger person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you jealous that you’re not married to the father of your child?

This has nothing to do with jealousy. I feel no jealousy towards her. - I don’t even dislike her I dislike the way she treats me. I am my own person. We are practically engaged and the only reason we even put off engagement/marriage was because we wanted to be somewhat financially stable. I don’t understand why people think it’s me or keep coming at me like I’m the issue. I’m genuinely letting people know I’ve tried very hard with her to be kind and I feel like I’m just getting attacked on this post.

[Anonymous]

OP: You are defensive with the responses. It seems like you made up your mind. Why come here and ask other opinions?

Like someone else posted, the invite would come from the host not the bride (that is normal course for a bridal shower), so not sure why you are upset with that.

Since you are soon to be part of the family, as you said you are to be engaged. In my opinion you should go, if you want to have a good relationship with MIL. Let them know you can’t stay late because of finals and have an exit plan.

[Anonymous]

I’d definitely skip it and not feel bad about it. You have a child and finals you have to study for. That is enough stress in your life.

I’d answer differently if she was nice to you and attended your events.

Send your regrets and congratulations guilt free.

[Anonymous]

Don’t go. You are a single mom in college. Its fine. You aren’t even married to the family and most people don’t enjoy showers. It’s probably a lot of friends of the mom and she invited you to be polite.

My actual SIL didn’t come to my bachelorette party because she didn’t feel like it. We have a good relationship now, 25 years later. We were young, I don’t care one bit now that she wasn’t there and remember being mildly annoyed for about 5 seconds back then.

[Anonymous]

Her and I have been around for the same amount of time and even my boyfriend doesn’t always like the way she treats me.

Gently: your boyfriend needs to marry you and stand up to his family for you.

This is the father of your child. Not the topic of your post, I realize. But as another single mom, these jumped out as red flags.

Re: baby shower, it’s ok to skip. Send a gift and a nice note. Good luck with your studies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you jealous that you’re not married to the father of your child?

This has nothing to do with jealousy. I feel no jealousy towards her. - I don’t even dislike her I dislike the way she treats me. I am my own person. We are practically engaged and the only reason we even put off engagement/marriage was because we wanted to be somewhat financially stable. I don’t understand why people think it’s me or keep coming at me like I’m the issue. I’m genuinely letting people know I’ve tried very hard with her to be kind and I feel like I’m just getting attacked on this post.

You already have a child together. What financial stability are you looking for?

[Anonymous]

In many groups the bride or mom to be doesn’t have anything to do with invitations to the shower. It would be considered rude for a bride to issue an invitation.

The fact that you started this thread with “she didn’t invite me! Only my MIL did!” makes me wonder if there are other cultural differences that you and they at misinterpreting.

You are at the beginning of forming relationships that you will hopefully have for the rest of your life. That can be hard work. I would go to show your MIL that you are making an effort.