How do low energy people parent?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't label myself low energy, but I don't believe in intensive parenting or taking on more than I can handle.

Fighting the intensive parenting trend takes a lot of effort. You can't just ignore it, but you can recognize it for what it is (anxiety over living in failing society) and responding according to that. Which for me is not letting anxiety run the show.

How do I handle it? I take walks. Lots and lots of walks. When I feel mentally well, things fall into place. I'm going through a really happy period.

I have three kids and I work a job that I can get done in about 35 hours per week. My kids all have activities but we limit the number. One kid would probably do an every day activity if we could afford it, but we can't, so we don't.

[Anonymous]

The more pressing question to me is: how do late-night and drinkers parent? I know a guy who routinely parties until super late and has two young children and it always blows my mind that people are out here able to parent hungover?! I’m stone cold sober and it takes all of me to start the daily morning grind at 6 am.

[Anonymous]

I am a low energy introvert. The toddler years were hell for me because of my super high energy kids (2). But as they get older I’m enjoying it more. I make an effort to befriend my kids’ friends’ parents just like an extrovert would. I’m not the life of the party and so probably miss out on some opportunities to meet more parents. I work full time but working from home most of the time has helped conserve energy and let me get routine tasks done during breaks during the day. But yeah I do have the thought that it’s probably a bit harder to build community as an introvert and community building is in general very helpful to parenting.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm low energy, maybe? And I'm definitely an introvert. I push myself to do it because that's what I signed up for. Try to have them wind down early and give me space in the evening to decompress (ADHD kid who bounces off the walls at night makes this a challenge....)

DH and I are a good balance - I do the calm activities with them, like reading and board games and puzzles, and homework. And he shuttles them around to their activities and such where his extroverted self can chat with all the parents.

[Anonymous]

It depends on your kids' energy levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I feel like from the minute I wake up at 6:30am until the minute the kids are finally asleep at 9pm I don’t have a single minute to myself. Either a kid needs something, someone at work needs something or my husband needs something. Or my dog needs something.

My only “me time” is working out 30 minutes a day. Or walking my dog and I can listen to a podcast.

It is exhausting day in and day out for the past decade.

I mean … why did you have 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

I just don't do superfluous nonsense that I see a lot of other people engage, like traveling to Florida for winter break, etc. We stay home and just chill and work on stuff that matters in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more pressing question to me is: how do late-night and drinkers parent? I know a guy who routinely parties until super late and has two young children and it always blows my mind that people are out here able to parent hungover?! I’m stone cold sober and it takes all of me to start the daily morning grind at 6 am.

He’s probably not parenting very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more pressing question to me is: how do late-night and drinkers parent? I know a guy who routinely parties until super late and has two young children and it always blows my mind that people are out here able to parent hungover?! I’m stone cold sober and it takes all of me to start the daily morning grind at 6 am.

He’s probably not parenting very much.

+1

PP here with DH who did not have much for "parents" - this is absolutely a factor.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older now, but I was not drained by the routine stuff like laundry, groceries, dishes, etc. That stuff is on autopilot. I made sure to sleep a lot (you won't hear me bragging about sleep deprived moms) and I was very careful on how/when I spent mental and emotional energy. Because it inevitably drained my physical energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I feel like from the minute I wake up at 6:30am until the minute the kids are finally asleep at 9pm I don’t have a single minute to myself. Either a kid needs something, someone at work needs something or my husband needs something. Or my dog needs something.

My only “me time” is working out 30 minutes a day. Or walking my dog and I can listen to a podcast.

It is exhausting day in and day out for the past decade.

I mean … why did you have 3 kids?

DP. I assume because she wanted three kids even though it’s difficult right now. Right now isn’t always.

I am extremely low energy, have three kids and a dog, and I am tired all the time. The only way we make it work right now is that I am taking a break from work (even though all my kids are school age!) and I can STILL barely get everything necessary done, nevermind doing a good job with any extras.

But of course we are dealing with kids at three different schools, in different activities and sports, and some very serious health related dietary restrictions as well.

[Anonymous]

I'm low energy (introvert with a long term health condition). We had two kids, 4 years apart. I work but have some flexibility. My DH does all the playdate coordination for our younger child. That in and of itself is a huge weight off my shoulders. I handle doctor's appointments, school-related things. Kids are in sports and scouts now but nothing that requires travel.

We manage, our kids are happy and healthy.

[Anonymous]

I only have one kid and I've never enjoyed my commute so much. I don't go out much at night. I prefer quiet time to myself after my kid goes to bed. I'm a single parent and I'm not sure I could have a partner because then I wouldn't have any quiet time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have one kid and I've never enjoyed my commute so much. I don't go out much at night. I prefer quiet time to myself after my kid goes to bed. I'm a single parent and I'm not sure I could have a partner because then I wouldn't have any quiet time.

You won’t when you kid is a teen either. That is the hardest part to me about teenagers. They are awake whenever parents are.

[Anonymous]

I'm a low energy introvert (plus ADHD, a real catch). My high energy, extroverted spouse does a lot of the power and light around here. But they also cause a fair amount of anxiety with their high-strung nature. So it is what it is, we try to balance each other out and play to our strengths. We also didn't have a 3rd kid (spouse's preference, but holy cow was it the right decision).