How do low energy people parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Introvert =/= low energy. Not sure why you're conflating the two. As an introvert, I do it the same way you do. I'm tired, I feel like something is always getting half-assed or missed, and I cut back on things that aren't really necessary.

Thank you. Introversion has nothing to do with productivity or stamina.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For starters we don’t have 3 kids
You can imagine the rest

Exactly. It seems a lot of people have three kids because they think they are "supposed to" without actually thinking it through. So many people I know who have 3 kids don't even seem to like parenting that much.

[Anonymous]

No dog, no religion, one sport/extracurricular activity, one instrument/art, etc. Running yourself ragged doesn't make you a better parent or spouse.

[Anonymous]

Stopped at two kids, for one.

[Anonymous]

Introverts are not low energy.

[Anonymous]

Well for me, I got divorced and that helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I feel like from the minute I wake up at 6:30am until the minute the kids are finally asleep at 9pm I don’t have a single minute to myself. Either a kid needs something, someone at work needs something or my husband needs something. Or my dog needs something.

My only “me time” is working out 30 minutes a day. Or walking my dog and I can listen to a podcast.

It is exhausting day in and day out for the past decade.

You had three kids.

You have a dog.

You likely have a lifestyle that requires you and your DH to work FT in jobs that probably are fairly demanding, and you likely think you could never cut back at work, either because you need the money (for life now or college later), or because your jobs are an intrinsic part of your sense of self-worth and meaning in life.

Many, many people (actually most people in the world) don't have the same value system or personal goals you have. I have never once in my life wished I had three children. I come from a family with four kids and it was too many and my parents were overstretched. I like dogs but think they are too much work, especially when you also have a young child or two. I often make choices around work that are about enhancing free time and reducing stress, because that is how I choose to live and I only get one life.

I hope your life is fulfilling to you and your family, but it is myopic to think think that everyone strives for what you have, or feels inadequate if they don't have all the same stuff. You are busy because you have chosen that for yourself. It is not simply the way it has to work. You chose this.

[Anonymous]

Op here - yes I do understand that introvert does not always equal low energy. But in general having kids means you have to interact with a lot more people than if you didn’t have kids.

At a minimum you are interacting with their teachers, parents of their friends and probably coaches or something of that sort. Add in more activities and more friends it’s more people you have to interact with. Times the number of kids you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For starters we don’t have 3 kids
You can imagine the rest

Exactly. It seems a lot of people have three kids because they think they are "supposed to" without actually thinking it through. So many people I know who have 3 kids don't even seem to like parenting that much.

My favorite is when people have three kids and then 10 years later they want to complain to you about how much activities cost and how little time they have and did you know how expensive college is?! And they have to pay for it three times!!!! Poor me.

These are at the same people who, when you stop having kids after one or two, will openly lament to you that your child/children will be lonely or your holidays won't be as fun, or you are burdening your kids with your care in old age and not enough people to share it.

Chickens. Roosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We're two low-energy parents. One of us stays home. That's really the only way we can make it work. The stay-at-home parent cooks the meals, cleans the house, does drop off and pick up, and the activities merry-go-round. Our high-energy dog walks us, not the other way around.

Our oldest is in college now, so it's less hectic.

Exact same here but oldest is in high school.

[Anonymous]

We don't have three kids and both parents parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would call myself a pretty high energy person - routinely work out, am up every day at 6:30am, work full time, etc.

But being a parent to 3 young kids is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. Between the mental load (laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, etc), enrichment for kids (sports, religion, etc) and school - I am so tired! How do low energy, introverted people do all of this?!?

Wut does your bum husband do

[Anonymous]

The low energy people I know have one kid and then talk about how hard it is a lot and how tired they are all the time.

[Anonymous]

I stopped working. I couldn’t juggle work and kids. I felt I was half assing both and had not enough energy.

My 3 kids are now school aged and it is just right for me. I’m on from 6-9 and 2-9 with kid stuff. I have from 9-2 to run errands, housework, exercise, catch up with friends.

[Anonymous]

We are two low-energy, ADHD parents with two elementary kids who both play travel sports.

I WFH, but regularly pull 50 hour work weeks. We eat a lot of pasta, scrambled eggs, carry-out, and Factor meals. Shell out for weekly house cleaners and lawn service, but our house still seems messy all the time. Have probably lost $500+ over the past year on online returns that didn't get mailed back by the deadline. No exercise but fortunately am also too busy to eat half the time. We desperately need to remodel our basement and bathroom, but can't ever get around to picking out finishes. Constant guilt about not volunteering enough at school or hosting enough playdates. Regularly stay up until 1:00 or 2:00am finishing work I couldn't get done during the day.

So, yeah...not feeling particularly successful at parenting or life in general.