How do low energy people parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm introverted. We have a great nanny who handles a lot of the mental load. We have cleaning people come twice a week. DH is a very involved parent.

Be well off. Noted.

We are well off and we still only had 2. Quality over quantity for me. Always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have to do laundry everyday. With kids that young, unless they soiled themselves they can wear the same clothes 2 or even 3 times.

Even if they change clothing frequently, most kids have PLENTY of clothing to last for multiple days!

I have a small laundry area and am OCd about piles of stuff l, so I do laundry 5-6x per week. Some weeks I do two loads a day, every day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, come back and clarify why you do laundry every day. Basically everyone here thinks this is overkill.

I do laundry every day because one of my kids is a bet wetter. But the clothes only get washed once a week. And honestly laundry takes minimal effort. Its not something that would add stress to my day one way or another.

+1. It takes so little time to do a load of laundry. Especially if you don’t bother folding.

+2, I start a load of laundry in the morning when I get up, I move it over at some point in the morning, then I look for an opportunity to fold in the afternoon/evening (conference calls are great for this). If I don't have time, DH and I knock it out together before or after dinner. It's probably a total of 10-15 minutes a day? Also we only fold sheets and towels and some of our clothes. Most of our clothes get hung up and putting clothes on hangars takes a lot less time than folding.

Why do you fold sheets? Wash them and put them back on the beds the same day. So much easier.

+1. Also solves the issue of needing two sets of sheets for every bed and a place to store them.

No extra sheets at all? What if the dryer doesn’t finish before bedtime, or someone is sick in the middle of the night? This seems more stressful than learning to fold sheets.

We live in a small apartment and don’t have extra sets of sheets because I don’t want to waste closet space on that. What you describe has literally never happened to us in over a decade. When the kids were babies, sure, I kept spares sets of sheets. People who own many sets of sheets are wasteful, imo, and prob own multiples if many things they don’t really need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call myself a pretty high energy person - routinely work out, am up every day at 6:30am, work full time, etc.

But being a parent to 3 young kids is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. Between the mental load (laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, etc), enrichment for kids (sports, religion, etc) and school - I am so tired! How do low energy, introverted people do all of this?!?

I spend an hour a week on laundry, grocery shop 1x a week, kids eat breakfast & lunch at school, cleaning is outsourced, doctors’ visits are minimized. I sign kids up for aftercare enrichment at school so that I don’t need to shuttle them anywhere extra.

It sounds like you are high energy but also highly disorganized. Use some of your high energy to plan better.

DP but it actually sounds like you don’t do much parenting (or anything else, for that matter).

“I have so much energy after I pay other people to do all the things that would require me to expend energy!”

None of what I listed counts as “parenting”, DP. I save my energy to spend quality time with my kids, which is when parenting actually happens.

I just replied but wanted to add - I personally consider putting my wants/needs secondary to the wants/needs of the kids I chose to have to be a cornerstone of parenting. Letting the school feed them junk for two meals a day and refusing to allow them to participate in any activities that might inconvenience me are not what I would consider parenting, and certainly not good parenting.

So again, do what you want to do but maybe take a break from patting yourself on the back for your efficiency and amazing planning skills. You’re not doing it better, you’re just not doing it.

+1. I come from a different culture where you put your kids, even your parents and your extended family first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m low energy. I have one child. I leveraged myself into a fully wfh job with good hours and decent pay (I mommy tracked). I have a morning nanny who cleans and does laundry. We are in a ton of activities, which kid really enjoys. I socialize at activities and also do admin/make calls. I have groceries delivered. I work out at lunch. Fin.

Love this. Taking notes! ✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call myself a pretty high energy person - routinely work out, am up every day at 6:30am, work full time, etc.

But being a parent to 3 young kids is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. Between the mental load (laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, etc), enrichment for kids (sports, religion, etc) and school - I am so tired! How do low energy, introverted people do all of this?!?

I spend an hour a week on laundry, grocery shop 1x a week, kids eat breakfast & lunch at school, cleaning is outsourced, doctors’ visits are minimized. I sign kids up for aftercare enrichment at school so that I don’t need to shuttle them anywhere extra.

It sounds like you are high energy but also highly disorganized. Use some of your high energy to plan better.

DP but it actually sounds like you don’t do much parenting (or anything else, for that matter).

“I have so much energy after I pay other people to do all the things that would require me to expend energy!”

None of what I listed counts as “parenting”, DP. I save my energy to spend quality time with my kids, which is when parenting actually happens.

I just replied but wanted to add - I personally consider putting my wants/needs secondary to the wants/needs of the kids I chose to have to be a cornerstone of parenting. Letting the school feed them junk for two meals a day and refusing to allow them to participate in any activities that might inconvenience me are not what I would consider parenting, and certainly not good parenting.

So again, do what you want to do but maybe take a break from patting yourself on the back for your efficiency and amazing planning skills. You’re not doing it better, you’re just not doing it.

+1. I come from a different culture where you put your kids, even your parents and your extended family first.

I come from a culture like that. I left it.

As they tell you on planes, “put your own oxygen mask on before helping your child.” In my old culture, women are to put their own oxygen mask on dead last, because women are unimportant and expendable. I wanted my daughters to learn something different.

[Anonymous]

I schedule activities and sports and cheer from the sidelines while shopping and dcumming on my phone. DH was a sous chef, professionally when I met him, so those skills come in handy. He also cleans and I throw things out and reclean so it’s done properly. I schedule the appointments while I wfh and DH takes them with me on the phone to ask the correct questions. I drop off and DH does the pick up/playground parent social hour. I try not to leave the house ever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call myself a pretty high energy person - routinely work out, am up every day at 6:30am, work full time, etc.

But being a parent to 3 young kids is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. Between the mental load (laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, etc), enrichment for kids (sports, religion, etc) and school - I am so tired! How do low energy, introverted people do all of this?!?

I spend an hour a week on laundry, grocery shop 1x a week, kids eat breakfast & lunch at school, cleaning is outsourced, doctors’ visits are minimized. I sign kids up for aftercare enrichment at school so that I don’t need to shuttle them anywhere extra.

It sounds like you are high energy but also highly disorganized. Use some of your high energy to plan better.

DP but it actually sounds like you don’t do much parenting (or anything else, for that matter).

“I have so much energy after I pay other people to do all the things that would require me to expend energy!”

None of what I listed counts as “parenting”, DP. I save my energy to spend quality time with my kids, which is when parenting actually happens.

I just replied but wanted to add - I personally consider putting my wants/needs secondary to the wants/needs of the kids I chose to have to be a cornerstone of parenting. Letting the school feed them junk for two meals a day and refusing to allow them to participate in any activities that might inconvenience me are not what I would consider parenting, and certainly not good parenting.

So again, do what you want to do but maybe take a break from patting yourself on the back for your efficiency and amazing planning skills. You’re not doing it better, you’re just not doing it.

+1. I come from a different culture where you put your kids, even your parents and your extended family first.

I come from a culture like that. I left it.

As they tell you on planes, “put your own oxygen mask on before helping your child.” In my old culture, women are to put their own oxygen mask on dead last, because women are unimportant and expendable. I wanted my daughters to learn something different.

Yes yes yes. It’s so sad to see the mommy martyrs desperately trying to validate their martyrdom.

[Anonymous]

Op you have a husband problem. Sounds like you are basically a single mom during the week. If he’s working 60-80 hours I assume he makes good money. Use it to get some help or quit your job. It’s really that simple.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? I had my kids in my 40s and went into early menopause. I needed hormone therapy to get my energy back. Even still parenting is a grind and exhausting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call myself a pretty high energy person - routinely work out, am up every day at 6:30am, work full time, etc.

But being a parent to 3 young kids is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. Between the mental load (laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning, doctor appointments, etc), enrichment for kids (sports, religion, etc) and school - I am so tired! How do low energy, introverted people do all of this?!?

I spend an hour a week on laundry, grocery shop 1x a week, kids eat breakfast & lunch at school, cleaning is outsourced, doctors’ visits are minimized. I sign kids up for aftercare enrichment at school so that I don’t need to shuttle them anywhere extra.

It sounds like you are high energy but also highly disorganized. Use some of your high energy to plan better.

DP but it actually sounds like you don’t do much parenting (or anything else, for that matter).

“I have so much energy after I pay other people to do all the things that would require me to expend energy!”

None of what I listed counts as “parenting”, DP. I save my energy to spend quality time with my kids, which is when parenting actually happens.

I just replied but wanted to add - I personally consider putting my wants/needs secondary to the wants/needs of the kids I chose to have to be a cornerstone of parenting. Letting the school feed them junk for two meals a day and refusing to allow them to participate in any activities that might inconvenience me are not what I would consider parenting, and certainly not good parenting.

So again, do what you want to do but maybe take a break from patting yourself on the back for your efficiency and amazing planning skills. You’re not doing it better, you’re just not doing it.

+1. I come from a different culture where you put your kids, even your parents and your extended family first.

I come from a culture like that. I left it.

As they tell you on planes, “put your own oxygen mask on before helping your child.” In my old culture, women are to put their own oxygen mask on dead last, because women are unimportant and expendable. I wanted my daughters to learn something different.

NP. I applaud PP for limiting activities to the ones offered by aftercare. Too many parents run themselves ragged by overscheduling their kids.

However, I cannot get behind having a kid eat breakfast and lunch every day at school. Even if they are skinny, it doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and consider myself an introvert & low energy. We homeschool and only my oldest (6 yo) gets to do 1-2 activities. My house is a mess. I do try to cook as we can’t afford takeout more than once a week. My husband puts the laundry in the washer/dryer, but I fold the clothes and put them away. He also frequently gets the groceries as he can’t sit still.

I’m tired and am hoping life becomes a little easier soon. The 7 month old is very clingy and always has to be held. I think it’ll be easier to homeschool/clean when the baby can crawl and entertain himself a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and consider myself an introvert & low energy. We homeschool and only my oldest (6 yo) gets to do 1-2 activities. My house is a mess. I do try to cook as we can’t afford takeout more than once a week. My husband puts the laundry in the washer/dryer, but I fold the clothes and put them away. He also frequently gets the groceries as he can’t sit still.

I’m tired and am hoping life becomes a little easier soon. The 7 month old is very clingy and always has to be held. I think it’ll be easier to homeschool/clean when the baby can crawl and entertain himself a bit.

Wow I wouldn’t consider any homeschooler low energy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Only have 2 kids with a big enough gap between them (5+) so that parenting was a joy.
- Help from parents who stayed with us for several months to help with both babies when they were born.
- DH makes good $$$ so I stayed at home.
- Outsourced cleaning and yard work. Had a weekly cleaner.
- Paid extra to tutors and coaches to come at our house to give lessons at home, so we were not endlessly commuting.
- My kids had a lot of downtime because we are a family that naps.
- My kids turned into bookworms like us, and that meant that they did not have to be entertained all the time.
- No soda and junk food at our home. Limited TV and screen time.
- Control of sugar, good sleep hygiene to have a calm morning
- Daily physical exercise for kids. If it was snowing, they were on the treadmill,

This started out normal and then really took a turn. You put your kids on a treadmill?

Yes. Their doctor advised us that most American kids are not getting enough daily cardio (60 minutes) exercise. So, in case of bad weather, they were encouraged to go on treadmill. We have a very well equipped gym in the basement and all of us use it.

If you want to know more about the guidelines for amount of exercise for kids between age 5 to 18, you can check out this NHS webpage - https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-guidelines/physical-activity-guidelines-children-and-young-people/#:~:text=Children%20and%20young%20people%20aged%205%20to%2018%20should%3A,movement%20skills%2C%20muscles%20and%20bones

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Only have 2 kids with a big enough gap between them (5+) so that parenting was a joy.
- Help from parents who stayed with us for several months to help with both babies when they were born.
- DH makes good $$$ so I stayed at home.
- Outsourced cleaning and yard work. Had a weekly cleaner.
- Paid extra to tutors and coaches to come at our house to give lessons at home, so we were not endlessly commuting.
- My kids had a lot of downtime because we are a family that naps.
- My kids turned into bookworms like us, and that meant that they did not have to be entertained all the time.
- No soda and junk food at our home. Limited TV and screen time.
- Control of sugar, good sleep hygiene to have a calm morning
- Daily physical exercise for kids. If it was snowing, they were on the treadmill,

This started out normal and then really took a turn. You put your kids on a treadmill?

Yes. Their doctor advised us that most American kids are not getting enough daily cardio (60 minutes) exercise. So, in case of bad weather, they were encouraged to go on treadmill. We have a very well equipped gym in the basement and all of us use it.

If you want to know more about the guidelines for amount of exercise for kids between age 5 to 18, you can check out this NHS webpage - https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-guidelines/physical-activity-guidelines-children-and-young-people/#:~:text=Children%20and%20young%20people%20aged%205%20to%2018%20should%3A,movement%20skills%2C%20muscles%20and%20bones

DP here. We also make our kids exercise when they don’t have an opportunity to go outside. Like 15 minutes on a treadmill, not a lot.