How often do you offer or pay for your nanny's lunch/coffee?

[Anonymous]

Does she lack of judgment in other ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on your relationship with your nanny, and your nanny's personality.

I've had nannies who were super professional and would be touched by a thoughtful coffee now and then, but who would never even notice me walking in with my own coffee - they were too busy with their own duties. We had clear boundaries.

I also had a nanny who was young, very into Starbucks (like she thought it was SO COOL and a status symbol or whatever). She absolutely would've noticed my coffee cups, and would've taken to heart if I didn't get her a cup. She'd probably pout if I continually excluded her from my Starbies trips. She had less boundaries. With her I probably would've always gotten her a cup and chalked up the price of doing business with this particular nanny / trying to keep her happy.

But yeah in general if you have good boundaries, I think it's crazy to always get her a cup. Like in the professional world, I can't imagine always having to get my secretary or colleagues a cup of coffee every time I went to Starbucks. Every once in a while is a kind gesture, but boundaries man.

+1 i think it depends on your nanny and your relationship. I get lunch and coffee way too often for it to be feasible for me to offer to get something for her. I get takeout lunch because then I’m not in the kitchen while she’s giving the kids lunch and because it’s one less thing I have to think about - thank you, door dash. I have never offered to get her lunch because it feels like it wouldn’t be appropriate for our relationship.

She’s paid very well, gets a generous holiday bonus + very nice/thoughtful gifts for her birthday and Christmas, and we strive to be courteous employers by keeping our house really clean and treating her like a professional.

make your lunch! Geez.

This. It’s super unhealthy to eat takeout every day.

Lol ok. 99% of the time I order a Sweetgreen salad. And to the other poster who was clutching their pearls about the cost - I can afford it.

You’re spending $15 on a salad everyday and complaining you can’t afford coffee for the nanny?

The person buying a salad everyday is not the OP/did not complain about buying coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on your relationship with your nanny, and your nanny's personality.

I've had nannies who were super professional and would be touched by a thoughtful coffee now and then, but who would never even notice me walking in with my own coffee - they were too busy with their own duties. We had clear boundaries.

I also had a nanny who was young, very into Starbucks (like she thought it was SO COOL and a status symbol or whatever). She absolutely would've noticed my coffee cups, and would've taken to heart if I didn't get her a cup. She'd probably pout if I continually excluded her from my Starbies trips. She had less boundaries. With her I probably would've always gotten her a cup and chalked up the price of doing business with this particular nanny / trying to keep her happy.

But yeah in general if you have good boundaries, I think it's crazy to always get her a cup. Like in the professional world, I can't imagine always having to get my secretary or colleagues a cup of coffee every time I went to Starbucks. Every once in a while is a kind gesture, but boundaries man.

+1 i think it depends on your nanny and your relationship. I get lunch and coffee way too often for it to be feasible for me to offer to get something for her. I get takeout lunch because then I’m not in the kitchen while she’s giving the kids lunch and because it’s one less thing I have to think about - thank you, door dash. I have never offered to get her lunch because it feels like it wouldn’t be appropriate for our relationship.

She’s paid very well, gets a generous holiday bonus + very nice/thoughtful gifts for her birthday and Christmas, and we strive to be courteous employers by keeping our house really clean and treating her like a professional.

make your lunch! Geez.

This. It’s super unhealthy to eat takeout every day.

Lol ok. 99% of the time I order a Sweetgreen salad. And to the other poster who was clutching their pearls about the cost - I can afford it.

You’re spending $15 on a salad everyday and complaining you can’t afford coffee for the nanny?

The person buying a salad everyday is not the OP/did not complain about buying coffee.

Yea it is …?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you get your coffee/lunch "for here" instead of bringing it home? You don't have to tell her where you're going.

That is what I would do.

Especially since you have been doing it up to this point.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if I'm picking something up for myself, I will offer to get her something. She doesn't always say yes.

[Anonymous]

Don’t start anything that you’re not willing to do on a regular basis: with nanny, with your own colleagies or employer, in personal relationships and dating. A favor quickly becomes entitlement and people will resent you for discontinuing it. Such is human nature.

[Anonymous]

Just don’t tell her you’re going to Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that if you don't go to Starbucks frequently, and/or that you think that your employer is so wealthy (comparatively, you may be) that a $10 drink doesn't matter to them (and comparatively it doesn't) this happens

If she has ever been to Starbucks she knows approximately how much the drink costs. Which she has, given that she even knows how to order this drink.

This is rude, entitled behavior.

Since OP has also been to Starbucks before she knows what kind of drinks they sell and how much they can be. What did she expect when she offered to buy her coffee? Stop asking if you can't afford to do it.

DP. I don’t drink fancy drinks. Sometimes I run into STBX for coffee. Like OP, I order a tall coffee or maybe a grande. I know that STBX sells other drinks but I’ve never priced them because I don’t order/drink them. I would be surprised if my $2-3 order became $9-10 due to the addition of another drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on your relationship with your nanny, and your nanny's personality.

I've had nannies who were super professional and would be touched by a thoughtful coffee now and then, but who would never even notice me walking in with my own coffee - they were too busy with their own duties. We had clear boundaries.

I also had a nanny who was young, very into Starbucks (like she thought it was SO COOL and a status symbol or whatever). She absolutely would've noticed my coffee cups, and would've taken to heart if I didn't get her a cup. She'd probably pout if I continually excluded her from my Starbies trips. She had less boundaries. With her I probably would've always gotten her a cup and chalked up the price of doing business with this particular nanny / trying to keep her happy.

But yeah in general if you have good boundaries, I think it's crazy to always get her a cup. Like in the professional world, I can't imagine always having to get my secretary or colleagues a cup of coffee every time I went to Starbucks. Every once in a while is a kind gesture, but boundaries man.

+1 i think it depends on your nanny and your relationship. I get lunch and coffee way too often for it to be feasible for me to offer to get something for her. I get takeout lunch because then I’m not in the kitchen while she’s giving the kids lunch and because it’s one less thing I have to think about - thank you, door dash. I have never offered to get her lunch because it feels like it wouldn’t be appropriate for our relationship.

She’s paid very well, gets a generous holiday bonus + very nice/thoughtful gifts for her birthday and Christmas, and we strive to be courteous employers by keeping our house really clean and treating her like a professional.

make your lunch! Geez.

If PP would be in the kitchen at the same time as nanny and kids, nanny could very well appreciate that there's so much doordash. Kids won't notice doordash after a while, and it keeps them from spinning up instead of eating or napping.

[Anonymous]

Most of you are being ridiculous. From what the OP has said, the nanny is not doing anything wrong, and certainly not acting entitled, because she takes OP up on what OP has freely offered.

Starbucks sells fancy coffee drinks, and many people wouldn’t bother to go there and spend money on something easily made at home (regular brewed coffee).

If you don’t want to buy her somewhere, don’t offer. You don’t need to go waste money at Starbucks in the first place just to “get some air”, but even if you continue to go there so frequently, maybe consider just buying nanny a fancy coffee once a week or every other week or something.

Unless you walk in the door and nanny demands to know why you didn’t get her anything, she is behaving completely appropriately. Don’t blame the nanny for accepting the gift you have offered.

[Anonymous]

i never buy my nanny anything. I once offered, but she said no tank you, and that was it.