How often do you offer or pay for your nanny's lunch/coffee?

[Anonymous]

Just brew at home. Thats what we used to do before Starbucks existed.

[Anonymous]

OP doesn’t have to hide that she went to Starbucks and didn’t get anything for the nanny. What kind of entitlement is that?

[Anonymous]

Starbucks. Yack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know longer have a nanny, but when I did…every time.

This.

[Anonymous]

Scale it back to once a week or every other week and take a travel mug with you so it’s not obvious you went to Starbucks and didn’t ask her.

[Anonymous]

I think that if you don't go to Starbucks frequently, and/or that you think that your employer is so wealthy (comparatively, you may be) that a $10 drink doesn't matter to them (and comparatively it doesn't) this happens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that if you don't go to Starbucks frequently, and/or that you think that your employer is so wealthy (comparatively, you may be) that a $10 drink doesn't matter to them (and comparatively it doesn't) this happens

If she has ever been to Starbucks she knows approximately how much the drink costs. Which she has, given that she even knows how to order this drink.

This is rude, entitled behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that if you don't go to Starbucks frequently, and/or that you think that your employer is so wealthy (comparatively, you may be) that a $10 drink doesn't matter to them (and comparatively it doesn't) this happens

If she has ever been to Starbucks she knows approximately how much the drink costs. Which she has, given that she even knows how to order this drink.

This is rude, entitled behavior.

My point is this: if you are an UMC person, and someone asked you if you wanted a 1.2 million X, or a 1.5 million dollar X, would you think the .3 million matters that much to the purchaser?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks. Yack.

This. Gross coffee, gross union-busting company.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on your relationship with your nanny, and your nanny's personality.

I've had nannies who were super professional and would be touched by a thoughtful coffee now and then, but who would never even notice me walking in with my own coffee - they were too busy with their own duties. We had clear boundaries.

I also had a nanny who was young, very into Starbucks (like she thought it was SO COOL and a status symbol or whatever). She absolutely would've noticed my coffee cups, and would've taken to heart if I didn't get her a cup. She'd probably pout if I continually excluded her from my Starbies trips. She had less boundaries. With her I probably would've always gotten her a cup and chalked up the price of doing business with this particular nanny / trying to keep her happy.

But yeah in general if you have good boundaries, I think it's crazy to always get her a cup. Like in the professional world, I can't imagine always having to get my secretary or colleagues a cup of coffee every time I went to Starbucks. Every once in a while is a kind gesture, but boundaries man.

[Anonymous]

The nanny is probably grossly underpaid and overworked, otherwise she would not even accept this "charity"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is probably grossly underpaid and overworked, otherwise she would not even accept this "charity"

Yes, we pay her $3.00 a day under the table. She actually started at $1.00 a day and we bumped her up $1.00 every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on your relationship with your nanny, and your nanny's personality.

I've had nannies who were super professional and would be touched by a thoughtful coffee now and then, but who would never even notice me walking in with my own coffee - they were too busy with their own duties. We had clear boundaries.

I also had a nanny who was young, very into Starbucks (like she thought it was SO COOL and a status symbol or whatever). She absolutely would've noticed my coffee cups, and would've taken to heart if I didn't get her a cup. She'd probably pout if I continually excluded her from my Starbies trips. She had less boundaries. With her I probably would've always gotten her a cup and chalked up the price of doing business with this particular nanny / trying to keep her happy.

But yeah in general if you have good boundaries, I think it's crazy to always get her a cup. Like in the professional world, I can't imagine always having to get my secretary or colleagues a cup of coffee every time I went to Starbucks. Every once in a while is a kind gesture, but boundaries man.

+1 i think it depends on your nanny and your relationship. I get lunch and coffee way too often for it to be feasible for me to offer to get something for her. I get takeout lunch because then I’m not in the kitchen while she’s giving the kids lunch and because it’s one less thing I have to think about - thank you, door dash. I have never offered to get her lunch because it feels like it wouldn’t be appropriate for our relationship.

She’s paid very well, gets a generous holiday bonus + very nice/thoughtful gifts for her birthday and Christmas, and we strive to be courteous employers by keeping our house really clean and treating her like a professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that if you don't go to Starbucks frequently, and/or that you think that your employer is so wealthy (comparatively, you may be) that a $10 drink doesn't matter to them (and comparatively it doesn't) this happens

If she has ever been to Starbucks she knows approximately how much the drink costs. Which she has, given that she even knows how to order this drink.

This is rude, entitled behavior.

Since OP has also been to Starbucks before she knows what kind of drinks they sell and how much they can be. What did she expect when she offered to buy her coffee? Stop asking if you can't afford to do it.

[Anonymous]

Don't offer. Or don't offer every time.

You're not obliged to buy something for her just because you're getting something for you.