Woman hasn't dated for 8 years

[Anonymous]

That's really good news, OP! And it says a lot that she felt you were a good man to go through that with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me how little most men understand about women and desire, and then they make these grand pronouncements. Guys: women frequently have responsive desire. We respond to stimuli. Some of us respond quite well. But if there are no stimuli confronting us, many of us can go on about our business, take care of ourselves, and not feel a huge loss. We just aren’t as likely to go looking for sex - esp because random sex often isn’t that good for us. I am a PP that had a long drought from dead marriage and pandemic. I have my first partner in 10 years now and I can’t keep my hands off him. He had the good sense not to ask but I suspect he’d be shocked to know he was my first in that long - but oh man do I respond to him!

It's not our fault we have a virtually zero sex life. Is that what you mean. Blaming a woman's asexuality on all men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been divorced for 10 years and I've had sex twice in 10 yrs. I enjoy sex but I have to have time for it. With work, kids, and aging parents, I just haven't had time to date. I'm not going to go out to bar on a Tuesday night and try and find some random guy to sleep with. I work from home so no opportunity to meet someone at the office. It's weird to think of sleeping with a dad from my kids school.

I never thought of it as a cause for a concern. I just haven't had time.

Obviously you don't enjoy sex enough to actually hav sex. You are.completely unmotivated to have sex. You are asexual. You just don't want to admit what you are.

Honestly, PP what's totally disqualifying from a dating and relationship perspective, IMO, is how you feel completely comfortable telling another person what that other person thinks and feels about sex, and that your view your own judgment about their internal feelings and values as more correct than their expressed views on the topic.

That, "I know your feelings better than you do" mentality is a huge relationship red flag for me.

You're kind of a psycho because I didn't say I wanted to be in relationship with a man hating asexual feminist beast. I'm simply pointing out the obvious. Women who want sex have sex. Women who don't, don't. OP is dating the latter which is a complete waste of his time. Lol at the nut jobs telling him to wait several months to see if sex happens. That insane. No normal woman would expect a normal man to wait several months for sex. The problem is these forums attract severely psychologically disturbed people who pretend that their lifestyles are normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Update. She sat me down to discuss this topic. She said she enjoys sex but has experienced trauma. She wants to move past the trauma with me. It was an emotional conversation. Our first time was very nice. She obviously enjoyed it very much.

yawn. was hoping for some drama. a good thread wasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me how little most men understand about women and desire, and then they make these grand pronouncements. Guys: women frequently have responsive desire. We respond to stimuli. Some of us respond quite well. But if there are no stimuli confronting us, many of us can go on about our business, take care of ourselves, and not feel a huge loss. We just aren’t as likely to go looking for sex - esp because random sex often isn’t that good for us. I am a PP that had a long drought from dead marriage and pandemic. I have my first partner in 10 years now and I can’t keep my hands off him. He had the good sense not to ask but I suspect he’d be shocked to know he was my first in that long - but oh man do I respond to him!

It's not our fault we have a virtually zero sex life. Is that what you mean. Blaming a woman's asexuality on all men?

you totally missed the point. a woman can very much enjoy sex when she’s having good sex, and also go for a while without it without going mad. i just do not agree with the conclusion that if she went 8 years she must be asexual.

[Anonymous]

Taking a shit is a good form of release. It is similar to sex and involves an ash ole. Afterwards there is shit. See it’s the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Update. She sat me down to discuss this topic. She said she enjoys sex but has experienced trauma. She wants to move past the trauma with me. It was an emotional conversation. Our first time was very nice. She obviously enjoyed it very much.

yawn. was hoping for some drama. a good thread wasted.

You may get your wish. Her anxiety/avoidance is returning. But she is talking to me about it (on the phone, not face to face).

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say that I read this thread last week with interest. I like sex, but for various reasons haven't been with anyone for years. I had the opportunity this weekend unexpectedly and at first I hesitated. But I remembered this thread and decided to take the opportunity for what it was -- a fun, no-strings-attached night with an old friend. And no, I didn't tell him how long it had been. Thanks, DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman I'm dating said she hasn't been with a man in 8 years (late 40s to mid 50s). She's been divorced for 15 years. Is this cause for concern? Do women with healthy sex drives go this long? We fooled around a little and she seemed to enjoy it but she didn't seem especially excited.

I have a gorgeous friend that fits this description. She is very special. She just hyper focused on other things after a less than desirable marriage. I’d give it time and teach. Who doesn’t like to have fun?!