Do your teen sons talk to you about their crushes or girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

You care more about some girl you have never met vs your own son?

Never did the OP say that but we certainly know what type of boy mom YOU are.

Best show too!

[Anonymous]

Crushes - no

Girlfriends - yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Searching for how to support my own DD w her BF and came across this.

Your son’s GF may not like some of his childhood friends that are girls because girls - surprise - can actually be really cruel to each other. My DDs BF knows girls from summer swim. They found out he had a GF. They looked up her photo, told him that she is ugly , why would he date her, etc and then started a harassing her on her social media accounts. They never even met her before. They were just being jealous mean girls. The BFs guy friends are nicer but since the BF is the only one w a GF he tends to get teased. So, PP mom, you sons GF may not be such a needy awful person at all but may have had her insecurities tapped because of his friends. Oh and in our case the BF mom is always like, you spend so much time together when they don’t even go to the same school and they see each other every couple of weeks. I don’t know what to do for my DD. I have to stay out of it. DD is a good kid, student and disciplined athlete who never gets in trouble. Always courteous to the BF family. The BF is a really nice young man. But these are the kind of moms she has to deal with. And I have a son also so I get it.

[Anonymous]

My sons tells me everything.

[Anonymous]

my son can blather on for days about the most minute minutae re: any and everything he's interested in but never every about love life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I’m pretty sure the mother of my DDs BF wants him to have a GF that looks just like her because it will validate her as a mother if he picks someone just like her. Like, that it’s a sign of his love for her. Ugh.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

You care more about some girl you have never met vs your own son?

Never did the OP say that but we certainly know what type of boy mom YOU are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Searching for how to support my own DD w her BF and came across this.

Your son’s GF may not like some of his childhood friends that are girls because girls - surprise - can actually be really cruel to each other. My DDs BF knows girls from summer swim. They found out he had a GF. They looked up her photo, told him that she is ugly , why would he date her, etc and then started a harassing her on her social media accounts. They never even met her before. They were just being jealous mean girls. The BFs guy friends are nicer but since the BF is the only one w a GF he tends to get teased. So, PP mom, you sons GF may not be such a needy awful person at all but may have had her insecurities tapped because of his friends. Oh and in our case the BF mom is always like, you spend so much time together when they don’t even go to the same school and they see each other every couple of weeks. I don’t know what to do for my DD. I have to stay out of it. DD is a good kid, student and disciplined athlete who never gets in trouble. Always courteous to the BF family. The BF is a really nice young man. But these are the kind of moms she has to deal with. And I have a son also so I get it.

Your daughters job isn’t to get his friends to stop being friends with him. If he likes her, he will tell them to stop and leave her be. If he lets it continue, he doesn’t really like her enough for her to stick around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Searching for how to support my own DD w her BF and came across this.

Your son’s GF may not like some of his childhood friends that are girls because girls - surprise - can actually be really cruel to each other. My DDs BF knows girls from summer swim. They found out he had a GF. They looked up her photo, told him that she is ugly , why would he date her, etc and then started a harassing her on her social media accounts. They never even met her before. They were just being jealous mean girls. The BFs guy friends are nicer but since the BF is the only one w a GF he tends to get teased. So, PP mom, you sons GF may not be such a needy awful person at all but may have had her insecurities tapped because of his friends. Oh and in our case the BF mom is always like, you spend so much time together when they don’t even go to the same school and they see each other every couple of weeks. I don’t know what to do for my DD. I have to stay out of it. DD is a good kid, student and disciplined athlete who never gets in trouble. Always courteous to the BF family. The BF is a really nice young man. But these are the kind of moms she has to deal with. And I have a son also so I get it.

Your daughters job isn’t to get his friends to stop being friends with him. If he likes her, he will tell them to stop and leave her be. If he lets it continue, he doesn’t really like her enough for her to stick around.

Funny. I read this the other way around. If they make fun of his GF to his face then it is they that aren’t good friends and he should dump them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Searching for how to support my own DD w her BF and came across this.

Your son’s GF may not like some of his childhood friends that are girls because girls - surprise - can actually be really cruel to each other. My DDs BF knows girls from summer swim. They found out he had a GF. They looked up her photo, told him that she is ugly , why would he date her, etc and then started a harassing her on her social media accounts. They never even met her before. They were just being jealous mean girls. The BFs guy friends are nicer but since the BF is the only one w a GF he tends to get teased. So, PP mom, you sons GF may not be such a needy awful person at all but may have had her insecurities tapped because of his friends. Oh and in our case the BF mom is always like, you spend so much time together when they don’t even go to the same school and they see each other every couple of weeks. I don’t know what to do for my DD. I have to stay out of it. DD is a good kid, student and disciplined athlete who never gets in trouble. Always courteous to the BF family. The BF is a really nice young man. But these are the kind of moms she has to deal with. And I have a son also so I get it.

Your daughters job isn’t to get his friends to stop being friends with him. If he likes her, he will tell them to stop and leave her be. If he lets it continue, he doesn’t really like her enough for her to stick around.

you can't be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

So here’s a good reason to talk.

My DDs basketball playing BF was actually cheating on her with the so-called “friend” from elementary school that she often asked him about. And that female “friend” of his was bullying my DD on social media. So she had good reason to not like them.

So before as mother of the BF you accuse the GF of being needy and accusational maybe it should occur to you your son isn’t so perfect. Maybe you should make an effort to inquire.

Think about that the next time you are at the club pool and see him hanging with his girl “friends” that are there this summer. And while you’re at it maybe think about what male role model closest to him taught him that behavior. It good to talk to your kids about their relationships so they learn how to treat each other with decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman and it is really hard to get him to communicate about girls. I guess this is common but he is now talking to a girl and I only know about it because one of his friends brought her up in the car on two separate occasions.

How do you navigate talking to them that won’t have them clam up immediately?

Oh and I am not one of those you can’t date or this girl doesn’t deserve my son type of moms, and he knows this.

I am just hoping he is treating her right, being respectful, going slow etc….

Lord no, especially not with their moms, that would be weird. It is what it is. As much as you want to be involved and help him, stick to generalities and NEVER ask for specifics or about his business.

[Anonymous]

No, but I can tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Are there girls like this for no reason? Yes. But most girls get like this in a relationship, because the guy says one thing (complaining of clinginess) and is doing another (loving the attention.)

Guys that call their girlfriend clingy but still stays with them is letting everyone, including her, know he likes the ego boosts of this behavior and usually sets this up as a control mechanism of their relationship. Whether they do it purposely or not doesn’t matter. It’s a learned response and can cause even more future toxic or controlling relationships. Your job as a parent during teen relationships is to show them what is healthy and what is not.

[Anonymous]

DS just broke up with his gf of 3 years. We had a long talk about this and other stuff. Talked till like 3am. I'm super sleepy today.

If he was dating another girl, he would eventually tell me. But, he wouldn't tell me if it was in the early stage.

I do think that this is rare, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son does some but not a lot. I actually get more out of his girlfriend about him than I do him about his girlfriend. LOL

I found my son to be more open when he was in a secure relationship. He clams up when he is single.

I wish. My son’s GF is so needy and clingy and accuses him of anything and everything. She isn’t supportive of his basketball and gets jealous when he is out with any friends, even when he is just playing sports. He has a few friends since ES that are girls and she hates them. He seems to think that means she really likes him and I am like RED FLAG!!! But if I put my 2 cents in, he would probably like her more. Sigh

Oh boy. This is abusive behavior. My son's gf just broke up with him, and he told me about some of her behavior, which is similar to the situation above, and he recognizes that she was very controlling. I told him that he dodged a bullet, but he wasted 3 years with her.

Tell your son to not let go of his relationship with is friends for her. My DS didn't do that, and now that she's broken up with him, he doesn't have a close social group anymore. He has start over again.

He's got ptsd now and said the next time he has a gf, he won't compromise, which obviously is not good, either, but that's his ptsd talking.

Read this post to your DS.