Do your teen sons talk to you about their crushes or girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

Yeah, that's a huge red flag.

Exactly. Let’s not normalize no communication between moms and sons. Your job is to teach them how to treat a girlfriend, protection, healthy boundaries, and give them some insight.

No talking is so strange. My son’s GF is over here 1-2x a week and they talk, we talk, and he and I talk. On car rides I can get a bunch out of him and throw in some summer suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

Yeah, that's a huge red flag.

Exactly. Let’s not normalize no communication between moms and sons. Your job is to teach them how to treat a girlfriend, protection, healthy boundaries, and give them some insight.

No talking is so strange. My son’s GF is over here 1-2x a week and they talk, we talk, and he and I talk. On car rides I can get a bunch out of him and throw in some summer suggestions.

^ Subtle suggestions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

Yeah, that's a huge red flag.

Exactly. Let’s not normalize no communication between moms and sons. Your job is to teach them how to treat a girlfriend, protection, healthy boundaries, and give them some insight.

No talking is so strange. My son’s GF is over here 1-2x a week and they talk, we talk, and he and I talk. On car rides I can get a bunch out of him and throw in some summer suggestions.

More of a dad's job for a son, if a dad is still alive and around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

Yeah, that's a huge red flag.

Exactly. Let’s not normalize no communication between moms and sons. Your job is to teach them how to treat a girlfriend, protection, healthy boundaries, and give them some insight.

No talking is so strange. My son’s GF is over here 1-2x a week and they talk, we talk, and he and I talk. On car rides I can get a bunch out of him and throw in some summer suggestions.

More of a dad's job for a son, if a dad is still alive and around.

It is not just a Dad’s job. Most Dads are so far removed from their kids lives. Moms understand how woman and teen girls feel. What they like and how they want to be treated. Sons learn empathy from their moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Yup. The users, cheaters, abusers and ego maniacs are not chitchatting with mom about their girlfriend. Because they know how disappointed their mom would be. And the mom turning a blind eye is even worse.

Boys that respect and like their girlfriend and genuinely want to evolve, do talk to their mom/dad. And their girlfriend would be over at each others houses, going to dinners, studying together, encouraging each other etc….

If your son isn’t open or talkative that is a HUGE red flag that he is not a good boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

He did mention crushes in the past and now asks for advice with girlfriend stuff like presents, what’s a good place to go for a date, not so much emotional stuff bc it is going well. He’s had the same really amazing girlfriend for a year now. She is at our house a lot and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Yup. The users, cheaters, abusers and ego maniacs are not chitchatting with mom about their girlfriend. Because they know how disappointed their mom would be. And the mom turning a blind eye is even worse.

Boys that respect and like their girlfriend and genuinely want to evolve, do talk to their mom/dad. And their girlfriend would be over at each others houses, going to dinners, studying together, encouraging each other etc….

If your son isn’t open or talkative that is a HUGE red flag that he is not a good boyfriend.

This!!! All this 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Well, many aren't dating at all so there is nothing to talk about their 'love life'. Given--the sex talk and basic consent stuff. If they aren't dating anyone then what are they talking about? My kid and his friends have sports every night of the week and most of the weekend and are at a very rigorous HS. Almost none of them are dating. Same for my now college kid. They all seem to adjust fine in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Well, many aren't dating at all so there is nothing to talk about their 'love life'. Given--the sex talk and basic consent stuff. If they aren't dating anyone then what are they talking about? My kid and his friends have sports every night of the week and most of the weekend and are at a very rigorous HS. Almost none of them are dating. Same for my now college kid. They all seem to adjust fine in college.

Umm lol

They aren’t “dating” because they are players or in snap situationships. They get what they need without putting in effort. You really believe your athlete son is a little virgin with no interest in girls. Yeah lol They hide it from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

I hear you. My kids are very open and tell me lots of stuff, and I’m always thinking “I don’t want to know! Tell your friends - that’s what they’re for!!”

+1
Sometimes I respond with 'All sounds like normal teen drama. I'm 48 and have exactly zero interest. I'm so glad you have good friends your age.'

If they are seeking advice, I'm happy to help. If they are seeking a gossip friend, I'm out. One of my DDs asked me if I thought a boy was ugly. I looked at her and said, I can see bueaty in everyone. If your asking me to judge a child's sex appeal- that's too weird for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he will not talk about it with you. This is normal behavior for a teen. Back off.

+1 These posts lately are making me nostalgic for my 90s upbringing when parents had no clue what their kids were thinking or doing.

I hear you. My kids are very open and tell me lots of stuff, and I’m always thinking “I don’t want to know! Tell your friends - that’s what they’re for!!”

+1
Sometimes I respond with 'All sounds like normal teen drama. I'm 48 and have exactly zero interest. I'm so glad you have good friends your age.'

If they are seeking advice, I'm happy to help. If they are seeking a gossip friend, I'm out. One of my DDs asked me if I thought a boy was ugly. I looked at her and said, I can see bueaty in everyone. If your asking me to judge a child's sex appeal- that's too weird for me.

Another one in agreement. It's going to be fascinating to watch the outcome in the next 15 to 20 years .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Well, many aren't dating at all so there is nothing to talk about their 'love life'. Given--the sex talk and basic consent stuff. If they aren't dating anyone then what are they talking about? My kid and his friends have sports every night of the week and most of the weekend and are at a very rigorous HS. Almost none of them are dating. Same for my now college kid. They all seem to adjust fine in college.

Umm lol

They aren’t “dating” because they are players or in snap situationships. They get what they need without putting in effort. You really believe your athlete son is a little virgin with no interest in girls. Yeah lol They hide it from you.

They hide it or are not bringing it up because they are not in a relationship that they care enough about or in no relationship at all. Why should he bring up a Snapchat only relationship to his mom? Why should he talk to his mom about a random hookup? Boys with real girlfriends and actual crushes will likely bring it up to his mom or dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Yup. The users, cheaters, abusers and ego maniacs are not chitchatting with mom about their girlfriend. Because they know how disappointed their mom would be. And the mom turning a blind eye is even worse.

Boys that respect and like their girlfriend and genuinely want to evolve, do talk to their mom/dad. And their girlfriend would be over at each others houses, going to dinners, studying together, encouraging each other etc….

If your son isn’t open or talkative that is a HUGE red flag that he is not a good boyfriend.

+1

In the age of phones, social media, laced pills, date rape drugs, sexting, unlimited porn (that isn’t a healthy depiction) and online bullying/peer pressure; your boys are involved or doing so much that you are probably not aware of. Hands off parenting for teens is neglect. It’s your job to make sure they are learning how sex and relationships work online. That’s scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Yup. The users, cheaters, abusers and ego maniacs are not chitchatting with mom about their girlfriend. Because they know how disappointed their mom would be. And the mom turning a blind eye is even worse.

Boys that respect and like their girlfriend and genuinely want to evolve, do talk to their mom/dad. And their girlfriend would be over at each others houses, going to dinners, studying together, encouraging each other etc….

If your son isn’t open or talkative that is a HUGE red flag that he is not a good boyfriend.

+1

In the age of phones, social media, laced pills, date rape drugs, sexting, unlimited porn (that isn’t a healthy depiction) and online bullying/peer pressure; your boys are involved or doing so much that you are probably not aware of. Hands off parenting for teens is neglect. It’s your job to make sure they are learning how sex and relationships work online. That’s scary.

^NOT learning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, if my son was openly sharing about his love life to me I’d assume he was going to eventually realize he was gay. It’s extremely atypical for boys to be chitchatting with their moms about their girlfriends.

For the toxic boys, yes. Of course they won’t talk.

And the fact you think only gay boys talk to their moms just makes me realize your family is highly toxic.

Yup. The users, cheaters, abusers and ego maniacs are not chitchatting with mom about their girlfriend. Because they know how disappointed their mom would be. And the mom turning a blind eye is even worse.

Boys that respect and like their girlfriend and genuinely want to evolve, do talk to their mom/dad. And their girlfriend would be over at each others houses, going to dinners, studying together, encouraging each other etc….

If your son isn’t open or talkative that is a HUGE red flag that he is not a good boyfriend.

+1

In the age of phones, social media, laced pills, date rape drugs, sexting, unlimited porn (that isn’t a healthy depiction) and online bullying/peer pressure; your boys are involved or doing so much that you are probably not aware of. Hands off parenting for teens is neglect. It’s your job to make sure they are learning how sex and relationships work online. That’s scary.

+1 watch the netflix show Adolescence.

I'm a PP whose DS shared with me his breakup woes and what happened. When they were together, he would tell me how they would talk about their future together, what they are going to do for Valentines day, etc. He told me he loved her. DS is 19. DH had the sex talk with him when he was much younger, and I have been very open with him about NOT getting her pregnant. I did not go so far as getting him condoms. He did that himself (I found one - new). At least I know he was being safe.

He told me the other day that he thought DH and I were model parents. We are not. I cringe when I think of the many mistakes I made. But, I think he appreciates how open we are with him, but at the same time we give him space. He said he now feels closer to us than when he was younger, and I'm so grateful for that. Usually, boys become more distant as they get older. But, in our case, because he's pretty responsible, and we respect him, I think he feels more comfortable sharing his emotions with us. I think he also learned through this breakup that he needs to share his feelings and not keep it bottled up. At first, he kept them inside, and it made him terrible to be around.

I hope we remain close. My brother is not close to our parents, at all, in any way.