The friend you have with the most kids, what is that person like?

[Anonymous]

My friend with the most kids I know
-is the most wonderful mom. She isn’t perfect, she gets upset too. But overall, she has more patience than me. After a long time she’s still willing to get on the floor, still loves little kids.
-she taught me so much as mom. I was closest to her when I was a new mom, and for the first 3-4 years.
-she got me a job, she works and needed an assistant. It helped me a lot.
-her kids are so good. Again, not perfect. Overall calmer and fun kids.

So, I feel like some of her great traits and her kids great traits are WHY she has more kids.

I had to stop at 3, which is a lot to some and perfect for me. After 2, I already sensed I wasn’t the best mom, my oldest two have some authority issues, push back on **everything.** I’m not as patient. I need a lot of breaks.

My friend genuinely loves motherhood more than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're at a catholic school where 3-4 is normal. The ones with a SAHM seem fine. Really involved, hands on parents who volunteer a lot at school. The ones with 2 working parents seem more stressed. There are a few families with more than 4. They all have SAHMs, and to be honest, all seem fine as well. Those moms have a zen about them for some reason.

This describes the two Catholic moms I'm friends with with 5-6 kids.

The kids are pretty great.

Sometimes the mom I'm closest with talks about stories about missing out on a career. But otherwise she seems pretty happy. Definitely tired when there were multiple babies.

[Anonymous]

Five kids from four different men.

They aren’t wealthy. Current husband is mechanic and she owns a housekeeping business where she brings her youngest two.

They live on her Dads property in a brand new (pretty nice) double wide that allows all kids to have their own room (don’t ask me how).

She’s religious and seems happy. I would be miserable but hey, different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Fifteen, I think? Six or seven biological, the rest of them adopted. Also a bonus child, now an adult, that wasn't adopted but was a long term foster.

Dad is very high energy, very organized, very religious.

Know three more with eight. All are VERY high energy, will-sleep-when-I'm-dead, religious types. One I would describe as highly organized. Two are... not. The non-organized homeschool; generally bright but special needsy kids who would have an awful time in the local public. Organized one in this group homeschooled the younger ones but sends the older to a local charter school.

The moms in all of these families do part time work, full time when the husbands are laid off.

[Anonymous]

I know three families with 4. One is wealthy, both parents work (finance and medicine), have their shit together. The other two families are a mess with only one aren’t working (and another finding themselves). The kids are great in all the three families, polite and sweet. It helps that none have any obvious special needs.

[Anonymous]

We are catholic and i know many families with 4 or 5 kids. They all seem pretty normal and love being around their family. The one difference I notice is that their kids do less individual activities. They sign 2 or 3 kids up for the same sport even if the ages dont match. They dont participate in play dates. Everything is grouo think but it works for them.

[Anonymous]

Our neighbor had five kids. She was Christian and she was the person with the most kids in her church. The kids were far apart in age. Right now she has two high schoolers, a middle schooler, and elementary schoolers. She was a SAHM and super involved in PTA. I assume her husband did something well paid because they were able to upgrade their house before moving to a higher cost of living area.

The other people I know who have 3-4 kids also fit this profile- SAHM, Christian, PTA.

[Anonymous]

She has 4. She is chill and very fun, a little self-deprecating

[Anonymous]

5 kids, mom is chill and laidback and seems to embrace the chaos. The biggest observation I’d make about this couple is that they both seem to genuinely enjoy their children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're at a catholic school where 3-4 is normal. The ones with a SAHM seem fine. Really involved, hands on parents who volunteer a lot at school. The ones with 2 working parents seem more stressed. There are a few families with more than 4. They all have SAHMs, and to be honest, all seem fine as well. Those moms have a zen about them for some reason.

+2 accurate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most that have three either have a lot of hired help and do no hands on parenting or they are a hot mess and designate the kids needs, especially transportation and food to other families.

Three isn’t that many…none of the parents I know with three are like either of your examples.

+1 PP’s anecdata not true at all for the (large) number of 3-kid families we know

[Anonymous]

I have four. I am a stay at home mother. I'm very religious and have a lot of family support. I don't know how people do it otherwise.

Honestly I love my life.

[Anonymous]

I don't personally know anyone with more than three kids. The family I'm closest to who has three is amazing. Great kids, both parents are super involved, volunteers with scouts and at school. The mom is funny and thoughtful, and just 100% the parent I hope I can be on my best day.

[Anonymous]

Five kids, I rarely see her. I take her oldest daughter to and from a lot of sports events because she's on the teams with mine. She's both very flustered and very organized at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five kids, I rarely see her. I take her oldest daughter to and from a lot of sports events because she's on the teams with mine. She's both very flustered and very organized at the same time.

Also, frankly, the older two kids get neglected. Not like in a legal way, but they have to do a lot and they don't really get to be kids.