MIL buying items on my baby registry for herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

I think you just heard the rarely unanimous chorus of DCUM saying, about a MIL, not only is this NBD, but it is likely she is being kind and helpful.

Seriously, this never happens.

This is fine. Don’t go looking for trouble.

[Anonymous]

OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

[Anonymous]

Creepy, OP. It is creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are maybe feeling stressed about having what you need for the baby and that’s why you are thinking “If you are going to spend money on baby gear give it to us!!!”

This is probably your nesting hormones kicking in. It’s pretty common to feel stressed about having everything ready, and if you haven’t had your shower yet then it makes sense that you are spinning your wheels mentally bc you can’t go out and buy everything until you see what you actually end up getting, so instead you are stuck not being able to fully nest.

Accept that this is not an offensive thing for MIL to do, you will probably get most of what you need at the shower and you don’t need much anyway!

+100

Everyone needs to stop taking their baggage out on OP. OP appears to be having a pretty normal hormonal reaction and neither OP not MIL are throwing up red flags. Lots of people are projecting their own MIL/DIL issues onto the situation.

OP, your emotional reaction is understandable but likely a bit exaggerated. For now, assume MIL has good intentions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, apparently I'm the only one on DCUM who thinks this is utterly bizarre. Are you SURE she's not buying them as gifts for you?

Op here, yes they’re not gifts for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, apparently I'm the only one on DCUM who thinks this is utterly bizarre. Are you SURE she's not buying them as gifts for you?

The boomers are posting all over the thread. It is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I’m so glad I only have girls. Being the son’s mom is awful. OP if your own mom were doing this would you be annoyed? Didn’t think so.

Op here, yes, I treat my mom and MIL equally as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, apparently I'm the only one on DCUM who thinks this is utterly bizarre. Are you SURE she's not buying them as gifts for you?

Op here, yes they’re not gifts for me.

They are for your baby, aren't they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would see this as a red flag that she expects you to leave the baby there often. Worst case is that she is already building a fantasy and expectation of how this will be and this almost never aligns with what is good for the baby or parents. If she was being thoughtful she would ask you and your husband if she should buy some things to set up in her house. She’s just doing it which is a warning sign that she feels entitled to the baby.

You and your husband may already know that you don’t want to do this based on whether she’s flaky or the over stepping boundary type. I would ignore her buying things but you and your husband need to keep your ears open for her dropping comments about her access to the baby.

Wow, so much baggage to unpack here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, apparently I'm the only one on DCUM who thinks this is utterly bizarre. Are you SURE she's not buying them as gifts for you?

Op here, yes they’re not gifts for me.

They are for your baby, aren't they?

Yes they are for my baby to use at her home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Creepy, OP. It is creepy.

Do none of your baby's grandparents have any baby things at their house? If not, that is super weird and inconvenient. MIL is cutting corners here by getting all the preapproved items for use at her home when they visit. What's not to like?

[Anonymous]

You sound unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

Taking advantage*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you learn that she was buying these items?

She told me that there’s sales going on so she’s taking of it and buying the items on my registry to use herself.

What items?