Why are some men successful and attractive through age 50 and have never married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

This. There is the rare marriage that is not isolating. You get sh@t if you want to spend more than 2 nights out a week without your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I don’t believe you. You’re dating a guy and want to know why he doesn’t want to marry you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want kids.

I find that odd if you are from a secure household and even enjoy kids. Especially when you had an exciting secure childhood. I don't understand the anxiety against marriage and kids if there is nothing from your past you are dealing with. Some of these men actively like kids too.

I mean, kids are a lot of work and become the focus of your life for most good parents. I love mine, but it makes perfect sense to me that some people are aware that they don't want to refocus their entire life on kids if they've built a satisfying life without kids and are happy that way.

It doesn't to me. It seems shallow. If the brightest, most communicative, and most secure children aren't bringing the same people to the altar and having kids as adults then IMO the country is in trouble.

+1. Also, these supposedly bright people have zero foresight. If they think they are always going to be young, good looking and living an exciting lifestyle, they have zero awareness of what will most likely happen as they age.

I guess they just roll into the retirement homes after the single life looking for more pick ups. I have no idea. Just seems immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I think it’s weird that you think it’s weird that somebody else might actually be happy with different choices than yours. But that appears to be a common way of thinking for DCUM women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I think it’s weird that you think it’s weird that somebody else might actually be happy with different choices than yours. But that appears to be a common way of thinking for DCUM women.

They don’t seem overly happy. They have either gained weight or have a different girl on their arm each year or have lots of photos with random people that change from year to year. They seem very into their job and living a nomadic life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I think it’s weird that you think it’s weird that somebody else might actually be happy with different choices than yours. But that appears to be a common way of thinking for DCUM women.

They don’t seem overly happy. They have either gained weight or have a different girl on their arm each year or have lots of photos with random people that change from year to year. They seem very into their job and living a nomadic life

You don’t know what makes other people happy. You only know what makes you happy, and you assume that what makes you happy makes other people happy. You just don’t get it. You really don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I don’t believe you. You’re dating a guy and want to know why he doesn’t want to marry you.

at age 50? Or I’m 20 and dating a 50 year old? I get why they aren’t marrying now. They are too set in their ways. I just thought by 40 they might have stopped enjoying the single life and wanted to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I think it’s weird that you think it’s weird that somebody else might actually be happy with different choices than yours. But that appears to be a common way of thinking for DCUM women.

They don’t seem overly happy. They have either gained weight or have a different girl on their arm each year or have lots of photos with random people that change from year to year. They seem very into their job and living a nomadic life

You don’t know what makes other people happy. You only know what makes you happy, and you assume that what makes you happy makes other people happy. You just don’t get it. You really don’t.

So what makes them happy with this choice they obviously settled on after 30 plus years being an adult?

[Anonymous]

I’m sure this varies dramatically. My closest (older single male) friend as far as I can tell- took a while to grow up, too high expectations/not willing to compromise, used to living life on his terms, has a full life separately from a couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

I have been married with kids. There is nothing more isolating than being married with kids. Nothing. I am more socially connected divorced with kids. Being married with kids means zero time if you are working. Zero. Also, never married people have more time to help others, which is what moms don't have. I have aunts who have been way more useful in society volunteering and helping other family members because they have the time because they don't have kids of their own. You are ridiculous to not understand this.

That is your life. I have friends who have several kids and a job and a governmental position and a large social life. You are projecting your own life onto other'x experiences.

I don't know why people who are married and have had kids are commenting especially women. I was asking about men age 50 who have never thought about settling down during the 50 years of their lives with no past trauma and happily married parents.

It’s because he’s not that into you.

I’m talking about college friends posting all over the world. They were never into me. I just think it’s weird they never found anyone after 30 years

I think it’s weird that you think it’s weird that somebody else might actually be happy with different choices than yours. But that appears to be a common way of thinking for DCUM women.

They don’t seem overly happy. They have either gained weight or have a different girl on their arm each year or have lots of photos with random people that change from year to year. They seem very into their job and living a nomadic life

You don’t know what makes other people happy. You only know what makes you happy, and you assume that what makes you happy makes other people happy. You just don’t get it. You really don’t.

So what makes them happy with this choice they obviously settled on after 30 plus years being an adult?

My God, woman, you are dense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people I'm curious about are mostly extraverts.

Have you discussed that with them?

Most people who know me think I’m an extrovert.

Only the few people who know me really well know that I’m exhausted by being around people and all the work to be engaged and entertaining, and I protect my alone time fiercely so I have time for quiet and recharging my batteries and not having to listen to other people blathering.

I’m middle aged and remained single by choice despite being attractive and successful; because I’m a woman I’ve had to deal with the stigma and certain assumptions which made my life difficult given that I lived for many years in rural small minded America.

[Anonymous]

that’s great but the question was for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I'm curious about are mostly extraverts.

It's extrovert

Maybe they are very tall.

ILY