Why are some men successful and attractive through age 50 and have never married?

[Anonymous]

Simply because they prefer the life they are leading. Makes sense to me. Some eventually change their minds, like George Clooney, but not all.

[Anonymous]

Obviously there must be different reasons for different men but…

Dated one guy almost 50 who was looking for a relationship and wanted kids (said he was ok with step kids). But the way he didn’t make any time in his life (very time consuming sport/hobby) and seemed to have a history of women who were somewhat detached from him or what he said he wanted (serious careers and didn’t want kids) it was like he was directly choosing a life that was diametrically opposed to what he said he wanted. And he had a PhD but couldn’t see this in himself. He was classically avoidant but thought he was secure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want kids.

I find that odd if you are from a secure household and even enjoy kids. Especially when you had an exciting secure childhood. I don't understand the anxiety against marriage and kids if there is nothing from your past you are dealing with. Some of these men actively like kids too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want kids.

I find that odd if you are from a secure household and even enjoy kids. Especially when you had an exciting secure childhood. I don't understand the anxiety against marriage and kids if there is nothing from your past you are dealing with. Some of these men actively like kids too.

I mean, kids are a lot of work and become the focus of your life for most good parents. I love mine, but it makes perfect sense to me that some people are aware that they don't want to refocus their entire life on kids if they've built a satisfying life without kids and are happy that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want kids.

I find that odd if you are from a secure household and even enjoy kids. Especially when you had an exciting secure childhood. I don't understand the anxiety against marriage and kids if there is nothing from your past you are dealing with. Some of these men actively like kids too.

I mean, kids are a lot of work and become the focus of your life for most good parents. I love mine, but it makes perfect sense to me that some people are aware that they don't want to refocus their entire life on kids if they've built a satisfying life without kids and are happy that way.

It doesn't to me. It seems shallow. If the brightest, most communicative, and most secure children aren't bringing the same people to the altar and having kids as adults then IMO the country is in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gay but religious or something
Sexually very successful and happy with it
Burned by some long-ago love and bitter
Fiercely independent
Don't want kids

I can think of plenty of reasons a person who is attractive and successful would stay single.

You forgot "(Non-disclosed) married and looking for a sidepiece"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want kids.

I find that odd if you are from a secure household and even enjoy kids. Especially when you had an exciting secure childhood. I don't understand the anxiety against marriage and kids if there is nothing from your past you are dealing with. Some of these men actively like kids too.

Wow! You think there has to be anxiety or something bad in your past to not want kids? WTF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if a lot of people would be happier unmarried but cave to the societal pressure to marry and have children. Maybe these men know themselves.

This. I’m a woman and I would be much happier if I had never gotten married. If I was a man, I wouldn’t have felt that much pressure and I would’ve stayed single and it would’ve been an easier for society to accept that.

I never really feel like myself or happy in relationships and never married. A lot of people do really treat never-married women, especially if there's nothing obviously "wrong" with them, with suspicion and disdain. It's become much better in recent years though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these people, their parents sacrificed a lot for them, and they acknowledge they had a great childhood. I don't get the self-serving and isolating nature.

This is such a f'd up way to look at things.

Not marrying is "self-serving", isn't marriage and kids actually self-serving since you don't think you can make it through life without a contract with another person saying they must do so.

There is nothing more isolating that marriage and kids.

That is untrue and the stats are there to prove it. Single men are the loneliest in all of society. Marriage and kids is not isolating. It might be limiting but so is being single. All choices have limits. A single person lives for himself and takes care of no one typically. Sometimes they take care of a family member, but not usually. Their whole life revolves around their needs and wants only. Spending your entire life serving your own needs and wants and not others is self-serving.

[Anonymous]

They get what they want for free.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, why would any of them want anything to do with the likes of any of you? They probably get on this website and think NO THANKS.

[Anonymous]

They know they would have to compromise if they married, even more so with children. They like spending their time and money their way. I also know women like this but fewer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why would any of them want anything to do with the likes of any of you? They probably get on this website and think NO THANKS.

Yet, here you are.