Do you judge parents who still impose a bed time on older kids?

[Anonymous]

In my house it's a choice. Get up on time, get your stuff done, and be polite to people. Or have a bedtime imposed by me. It's their call.

[Anonymous]

No. It's none of my business and doesn't affect me in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, like teenagers. Are the parents considered to “helicopter” or “tiger “ if they still do this?

My expectation was for them was to use common sense and get enough sleep. I preached lights off at 12 unless there is a test or assignment for which they need to pull an all nighter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Studies show that ADD, anxiety and depression are all exacerbated by poor sleep. Having a set time to go to bed and wake up, that is regular (even on the weekends), is really important.

Anecdotally this is definitely true in our house. When my teen boys get enough sleep they are a fun, chatty, and have a positive attitude. When they are sleep deprived they act like depressed mountain trolls and every challenge or obstacle is the end of the world.[/quote]

This is the funniest comment on the internt today & also true in our house.

[Anonymous]

My kids need to be up by 6:30. They are 11 and 13. I showed them the recommendation by the AAP and they worked backwards themselves. They get 10 and 9 hours respectively. So 8:30 and 9:30 bedtimes, on weeknights. They don't have a bedtime on weekends.

I can't convey how much better behaved my kids are in public compared to a lot of their friends/cousins - and we aren't particularly strict about anything but sleep and screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids need to be up by 6:30. They are 11 and 13. I showed them the recommendation by the AAP and they worked backwards themselves. They get 10 and 9 hours respectively. So 8:30 and 9:30 bedtimes, on weeknights. They don't have a bedtime on weekends.

I can't convey how much better behaved my kids are in public compared to a lot of their friends/cousins - and we aren't particularly strict about anything but sleep and screens.

This is something I do judge for, kids that close in age should not have different bedtimes especially if they both have to get up at the same time, it's not fair to the younger sibling.

[Anonymous]

I don't think 11 and 13 is necessarily "older" - our personal household rule was no imposed bedtime once you hit high school (so around 14). That's when I think kids need to learn to self regulate. I judge parents for being too prescriptive over older teens, but I'm sure I do many parenting things wrong so they can judge me for those things....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, and I would argue that we should be imposing bedtimes on grown adults as well!

Can you make a teen go to bed at a certain time? No, but you can shut down Wi-Fi for sure

Yes, you can make a teen go to bed at a certain time. It's called parenting.

No parenting would be raising response for children who know what time to go to bed without having a set time.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, this thread did not see you vindicated in your beliefs. Try again, troll again.

[Anonymous]

How do you enforce a bedtime for a high schooler or even a middle schooler? That’s what I’m not understanding.

I have a certain time they can’t be online or making noise around the house. I can’t physically force my teens to fall asleep. I can make suggestions and cut internet access but that’s about it at this age. I’m not in there reading them stories until they fall asleep anymore.

The parents who enforce a bedtime I think really mean they cut off electronics and have quiet hours. That’s actually different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you enforce a bedtime for a high schooler or even a middle schooler? That’s what I’m not understanding.

I have a certain time they can’t be online or making noise around the house. I can’t physically force my teens to fall asleep. I can make suggestions and cut internet access but that’s about it at this age. I’m not in there reading them stories until they fall asleep anymore.

The parents who enforce a bedtime I think really mean they cut off electronics and have quiet hours. That’s actually different.

Mine have to be in their rooms, quiet, with no electronics and they have to have pajamas on and teeth brushed. Beyond that is up to them. Both like reading but usually only do it at bedtime. I guess that's better than nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you enforce a bedtime for a high schooler or even a middle schooler? That’s what I’m not understanding.

I have a certain time they can’t be online or making noise around the house. I can’t physically force my teens to fall asleep. I can make suggestions and cut internet access but that’s about it at this age. I’m not in there reading them stories until they fall asleep anymore.

The parents who enforce a bedtime I think really mean they cut off electronics and have quiet hours. That’s actually different.

Get ready for bed, get in bed, turn lights off.

They are asleep in 5 minutes.

[Anonymous]

How would I even know if other parents impose a bedtime on their teens?

[Anonymous]

My DS often had rehearsal until 10, got home at 10:30, needed to shower and do homework. Not sure how I would have enforced a 9:30 bedtime for a high school student. On those nights, he usually had time for a nap right after school - he has ADHD and usually needed a break anyway. I was not at all involved in his evening routine - people are monitoring whether their teens have changed into pajamas and brushed their teeth by a certain time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. It's none of my business and doesn't affect me in any way.

This is the correct answer and should have been the end of the thread