Too tired to care for my mom, who wants to live onto her mid 90’s…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

+1 You’ve posted about this before, I’m pretty sure. I looked up the clinic and this is now my plan, too. Lol It gives me comfort to know that something like it exists.

They will be overrun by the time I get there. There is a business opportunity here. It should be part of estate planning to die with dignity when you chose.

My mother is 80 -- so very top of the Boomer generation.

I think as more Boomers age, there will be activism to make death with dignity possible. They have watched/are watching their parents age and see how quality of life can easily erode, even without diagnoses like Alzheimer's.

It only makes sense to let people decide for themselves how they want to live and die.

We have a death with dignity law in New Mexico, but it doesn't apply to individuals with cognitive impairment -- which is sad, because they were a driving force in getting the law passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

+1 You’ve posted about this before, I’m pretty sure. I looked up the clinic and this is now my plan, too. Lol It gives me comfort to know that something like it exists.

They will be overrun by the time I get there. There is a business opportunity here. It should be part of estate planning to die with dignity when you chose.

My mother is 80 -- so very top of the Boomer generation.

I think as more Boomers age, there will be activism to make death with dignity possible. They have watched/are watching their parents age and see how quality of life can easily erode, even without diagnoses like Alzheimer's.

It only makes sense to let people decide for themselves how they want to live and die.

We have a death with dignity law in New Mexico, but it doesn't apply to individuals with cognitive impairment -- which is sad, because they were a driving force in getting the law passed.

Your mother is Silent Generation. She was born during WW2, right? That’s pre-Boom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

+1 You’ve posted about this before, I’m pretty sure. I looked up the clinic and this is now my plan, too. Lol It gives me comfort to know that something like it exists.

They will be overrun by the time I get there. There is a business opportunity here. It should be part of estate planning to die with dignity when you chose.

My mother is 80 -- so very top of the Boomer generation.

I think as more Boomers age, there will be activism to make death with dignity possible. They have watched/are watching their parents age and see how quality of life can easily erode, even without diagnoses like Alzheimer's.

It only makes sense to let people decide for themselves how they want to live and die.

We have a death with dignity law in New Mexico, but it doesn't apply to individuals with cognitive impairment -- which is sad, because they were a driving force in getting the law passed.

I wonder about this. Apparently the boomers are only second to Gen Z in how few of them identify as religious. I think that will have a major effect in the death with dignity movement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

If a person decides to sign ip for this, what about the life insurance aspect? I’d want to leave family something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys I hate to break it to you but it’s actually really hard to kill yourself. My sibling is a psychiatrist and she says it’s very hard to kill yourself with pills. If you try to shoot yourself, you might just wind up disabled or brain dead. Same for jumping.

It’s not so hard if you are 89.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

+1 You’ve posted about this before, I’m pretty sure. I looked up the clinic and this is now my plan, too. Lol It gives me comfort to know that something like it exists.

They will be overrun by the time I get there. There is a business opportunity here. It should be part of estate planning to die with dignity when you chose.

It is so messed up to have to fly so far to have death with dignity. It’s fine to put dogs out to end obvious suffering, but not ok for humans. In nature, if you have dementia and you can’t feed yourself, can’t go to the bathroom properly, can no longer recognize your loved ones, you would probably meet your demise quickly as well should be the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

If a person decides to sign ip for this, what about the life insurance aspect? I’d want to leave family something.

Well, you can leave them your estate but no, you can’t do a planned suicide and then expect a life insurance payout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I’m sorry for the OP and other PPs on here but this is a really horrible thread.

The inability to talk openly and honestly about these hard truths leads to people stuck in these terrible situations. Sticking your head in the sand is no solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

If a person decides to sign ip for this, what about the life insurance aspect? I’d want to leave family something.

One doesn't do this with a life insurance policy. Save and leave them something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

+1 You’ve posted about this before, I’m pretty sure. I looked up the clinic and this is now my plan, too. Lol It gives me comfort to know that something like it exists.

They will be overrun by the time I get there. There is a business opportunity here. It should be part of estate planning to die with dignity when you chose.

It is so messed up to have to fly so far to have death with dignity. It’s fine to put dogs out to end obvious suffering, but not ok for humans. In nature, if you have dementia and you can’t feed yourself, can’t go to the bathroom properly, can no longer recognize your loved ones, you would probably meet your demise quickly as well should be the case.

I want to be put down like a dog. Why do they get a more dignified death while humans have to live in their own $h!+ or have someoneelse clean it for then. I just want to set some guidelines for when my heirs should buy the ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

+1 You’ve posted about this before, I’m pretty sure. I looked up the clinic and this is now my plan, too. Lol It gives me comfort to know that something like it exists.

They will be overrun by the time I get there. There is a business opportunity here. It should be part of estate planning to die with dignity when you chose.

It is so messed up to have to fly so far to have death with dignity. It’s fine to put dogs out to end obvious suffering, but not ok for humans. In nature, if you have dementia and you can’t feed yourself, can’t go to the bathroom properly, can no longer recognize your loved ones, you would probably meet your demise quickly as well should be the case.

This. My mom and her mother, both difficult people to begin with became more abusive and downright terrifying with age. I pray I do not become like them, but the thought I could cause my children even a fraction of the pain I have experienced from my mom's outbursts and tirades is horrifying. My father on the other hand was kind but became unable to feed himself, use the bathroom or bathe, talk or walk...all he could do was make noises of distress. Why should my hard earned money go toward allowing me to live longer with no quality of life while potentially destroying the mental health of my children? I hate that I have to research my options abroad and figure out how to time it all so I can say my goodbyes and have everything in order, but be at just the right level of decline that I can still fly out there and do this.

We really need to get more comfortable with the idea of death with dignity and a person's right to chose to die peacefully rather than spending years and years in hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vague plan is to go to the assisted suicide Pegasos clinic in Basel if I’m ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or something where it will clearly be a long, horrible, irreversible decline. Last I heard it was $11,000 and no terminal illness diagnosis required.

If a person decides to sign ip for this, what about the life insurance aspect? I’d want to leave family something.

Don't life insurance premiums go up as you age? I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I remember that our premiums go up pretty steeply when we hit 65. We planned to drop it around that time. The kids will inherit everything.

[Anonymous]

I have a 78yo father who wants to live for another 20. I am 47 and I am not sure I can care for him that long. He is relatively healthy so far but I will be aging as will he! Oh well.
My plan is to have in home support for him - I will be his caregiver and will be paid for it as he has no money. NY and CA are the places to be if you don’t have assets to your name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 78yo father who wants to live for another 20. I am 47 and I am not sure I can care for him that long. He is relatively healthy so far but I will be aging as will he! Oh well.
My plan is to have in home support for him - I will be his caregiver and will be paid for it as he has no money. NY and CA are the places to be if you don’t have assets to your name.

Can you say more about this? I’m in NY and would like to move my mother closer to me but assumed it would be prohibitively expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 78yo father who wants to live for another 20. I am 47 and I am not sure I can care for him that long. He is relatively healthy so far but I will be aging as will he! Oh well.
My plan is to have in home support for him - I will be his caregiver and will be paid for it as he has no money. NY and CA are the places to be if you don’t have assets to your name.

Can you say more about this? I’m in NY and would like to move my mother closer to me but assumed it would be prohibitively expensive.

I don’t know any details about NY (I am in CA) but basically you treat your mom as her own household, get her an income restricted apartment (not section 8 but just lower cost) if at all possible. If she doesn’t have many assets and her income is under a certain limit she can get in home support from the state. She gets hours and you are licensed as a caregiver and provide support, or you hire someone else to do it.
Many Americans aren’t eligible because they have IRA and 401k distributions and high SSA benefits but many foreign born parents who came via family migration are, as they don’t have anything saved.