Anyone else lose their groove during Covid with young kids and still not have it back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom of older kids, I'm confused why everyone things the pandemic told them something new. Yes the pandemic sucked but we weren't supported before the pandemic either.

Mmm, pretty sure my young school-aged kids could attend school before the pandemic. Suddenly, school became not only optional, but something no decent parent had a right to expect. As PPs have said, you weren't dealing with young kids during the pandemic - just as I don't know what it was like to parent teens during that time period, you don't know what it was like to parent toddlers or preschoolers or kindergartners.

They were in elementary. But I just find this whole younger generation of parents SO effing whiny. Everything is unfair and harder for them than everyone else. Blah blah blah. Deal with it.

And how old are you? Either you're in your 50s/60s with much older kids, in which case you have no idea at all what it was like to parent young kids through the pandemic, or you're in your late 40s and just a few years older but complaining about this "younger generation" of parents which is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom of older kids, I'm confused why everyone things the pandemic told them something new. Yes the pandemic sucked but we weren't supported before the pandemic either.

Mmm, pretty sure my young school-aged kids could attend school before the pandemic. Suddenly, school became not only optional, but something no decent parent had a right to expect. As PPs have said, you weren't dealing with young kids during the pandemic - just as I don't know what it was like to parent teens during that time period, you don't know what it was like to parent toddlers or preschoolers or kindergartners.

They were in elementary. But I just find this whole younger generation of parents SO effing whiny. Everything is unfair and harder for them than everyone else. Blah blah blah. Deal with it.

And how old are you? Either you're in your 50s/60s with much older kids, in which case you have no idea at all what it was like to parent young kids through the pandemic, or you're in your late 40s and just a few years older but complaining about this "younger generation" of parents which is ridiculous.

I’m 43. And y’all are really whiny.

Well I'm 43 so we're peers. No one here is whining. We're talking about challenges. If you have no challenges, why are you here? To complain about those of us who are struggling? Does that sound like a mentally sound and healthy choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom of older kids, I'm confused why everyone things the pandemic told them something new. Yes the pandemic sucked but we weren't supported before the pandemic either.

Mmm, pretty sure my young school-aged kids could attend school before the pandemic. Suddenly, school became not only optional, but something no decent parent had a right to expect. As PPs have said, you weren't dealing with young kids during the pandemic - just as I don't know what it was like to parent teens during that time period, you don't know what it was like to parent toddlers or preschoolers or kindergartners.

They were in elementary. But I just find this whole younger generation of parents SO effing whiny. Everything is unfair and harder for them than everyone else. Blah blah blah. Deal with it.

And how old are you? Either you're in your 50s/60s with much older kids, in which case you have no idea at all what it was like to parent young kids through the pandemic, or you're in your late 40s and just a few years older but complaining about this "younger generation" of parents which is ridiculous.

I’m 43. And y’all are really whiny.

Well I'm 43 so we're peers. No one here is whining. We're talking about challenges. If you have no challenges, why are you here? To complain about those of us who are struggling? Does that sound like a mentally sound and healthy choice?

There isn't really any correlation between people who complain a lot, and people who actually have harder lives. If anything, those I know with real difficulties actually complain less. We all do what we have to, no point dwelling on the past.

You're just a miserable person who came here to yell at people who are talking about struggling because then they'll be miserable like you and that perversely makes you feel better. You need therapy but will never get it because it because that would involve admitting that you have issues, and you can't do that. Your entire identity is wrapped around feeling superior to others, so actually accepting you don't know everything and that it's okay to just let other people live or figure stuff out on their own is a threat. So you come on DCUM and put on this show of rolling your eyes at people and criticizing them for ANYTHING they say, putting people down and making fun of them.

You're broken. But it has nothing at all to do with me. I hope you figure this stuff out and get better because you probably make your kids and everyone else you interact with miserable too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have another kid

OP here. Part of our Covid/post-Covid malaise was letting the window on having another kid close -- we don't feel like it's in the cards at this age. We also realized during Covid that our families are not really a source of support for us (like not even a source emotional support) and that has made us more conservative about family planning. But it's actually a bit sad for me to realize I won't have more kids. I love my only so much, we have a good family dynamic, I'm glad we won't be strained for resources with just one. But I did want another before Covid and it's been sad letting that go.

I think that contributes to this sense of feeling stuck. My life looks different than I thought it would. Not bad, just different.

I'm still trying to deal with not having another child. I don't know how to cope 😭

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom of older kids, I'm confused why everyone things the pandemic told them something new. Yes the pandemic sucked but we weren't supported before the pandemic either.

Mmm, pretty sure my young school-aged kids could attend school before the pandemic. Suddenly, school became not only optional, but something no decent parent had a right to expect. As PPs have said, you weren't dealing with young kids during the pandemic - just as I don't know what it was like to parent teens during that time period, you don't know what it was like to parent toddlers or preschoolers or kindergartners.

They were in elementary. But I just find this whole younger generation of parents SO effing whiny. Everything is unfair and harder for them than everyone else. Blah blah blah. Deal with it.

And how old are you? Either you're in your 50s/60s with much older kids, in which case you have no idea at all what it was like to parent young kids through the pandemic, or you're in your late 40s and just a few years older but complaining about this "younger generation" of parents which is ridiculous.

I’m 43. And y’all are really whiny.

I'm the older NP from the prior page. I'm not at all whiny in my real life, but this seems like a safe space to share with others who are experiencing similar feelings. Perhaps you should find another thread.

[Anonymous]

I am totally traumatized. We also started on the special needs train with our youngest that has been disaster after disaster. My family of origin kind of fell apart. I am so bitter about how hard it is to be a working mom of little kids. I hate and resent my husband for a million reasons. I think he hates me too. I feel like I am a robot version of the person who got a promotion in January 2020 with a 1 and 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

I think what burned us all out was seeing that no on GAF about the kids when the world fell apart. I had felt previously that people were generally kind and helpful. Instead people were cruel and self absorbed. It was just very hard dual working parents and no childcare. My middle child was 1.5

[Anonymous]

My kids were older and able to read independently during Covid, and I still feel kind of broken. I also used to wake up before 6 for spin class and yoga, and now can't get up much before the sun. I used to be somewhat ambitious at work, and now I'm just happy to keep my head down and do the minimum most days.

I used to say 'yes' to all of the asks - room parent, volunteer, help a friend, raise the money... now I pick one or two and say no to most. I turn down social engagements and stay home. A lot.

I used to be an 'ambivert' and now am solidly introvert. I think Covid and isolation did that. And I was luckier than most. Let's have one anothers backs and make it better. Give ourselves and others grace. The crankypants people who think its whining should just be ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom of older kids, I'm confused why everyone things the pandemic told them something new. Yes the pandemic sucked but we weren't supported before the pandemic either.

Mmm, pretty sure my young school-aged kids could attend school before the pandemic. Suddenly, school became not only optional, but something no decent parent had a right to expect. As PPs have said, you weren't dealing with young kids during the pandemic - just as I don't know what it was like to parent teens during that time period, you don't know what it was like to parent toddlers or preschoolers or kindergartners.

They were in elementary. But I just find this whole younger generation of parents SO effing whiny. Everything is unfair and harder for them than everyone else. Blah blah blah. Deal with it.

What previous generation of living parents experienced anything even remotely like covid?

I know the boomer wont is to put your head in the sand and pretend that all is well. I guess that’s the generational difference.

You’re right of course. No one in the history of the world has a harder, more unfair life than you do. /s

Nobody said that. Coming into a thread to criticize people processing a collective trauma is kind of sociopathy in a nutshell, so maybe think about why you’re doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am totally traumatized. We also started on the special needs train with our youngest that has been disaster after disaster. My family of origin kind of fell apart. I am so bitter about how hard it is to be a working mom of little kids. I hate and resent my husband for a million reasons. I think he hates me too. I feel like I am a robot version of the person who got a promotion in January 2020 with a 1 and 3 year old.

OP here. I can relate! I got an amazing job offer in November 2019 and started right after Christmas. I'd been been doing ad hoc consulting before that (since having a baby) so it was the reboot of my career and I was thrilled. DC was doing great in full-time daycare, I was getting the hang of my job. Then March 2020 happened, daycare closed (never reopened) and nothing has been the same since. My job was relatively understanding but I was so new. Just all the hope I'd had for the future slowly leeched out of me and now I feel like I often just go through the motions at home and at work. Yesterday I had my kid cook dinner with me and we had a great time and it resulted in trying some new foods they'd been resistant to, and it was great but I also realized that I used to do stuff like that all the time pre-Covid, and now I rarely do. I don't have the energy. I'm just trying to get to the end of the day so I can go to sleep. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny and still don’t feel like myself.

While I was grateful to still have a job, it was so hard going to work every day for my wealthy employers and hearing the mom say this was the best time of her life, ‘working’ from home (doing yoga, shopping, renovations, buying clothes, making me do non stop expensive Pinterest organization projects, baking bread, getting plastic surgery etc while earning over a million a year) and spending zero time with her kids. I’ve been with the family for many years, so it made me really sad to see them ask her to play and she would say she has to work, but then just went on instagram all day. The dad has his own business and was upstairs 14-16 hours a day working, and we never really saw him for 2 years. Before covid, I used to think they were such great parents, and now it’s just really hard to shake the feeling that they wasted all this time they could have spent with their kids at home.

My bosses kept talking about all the money they saved not commuting or going out, so much that they bought 2 vacation homes during covid, while they would gripe about paying me for things legally required in my state (mileage and overtime).

I feel like covid made me bitter and it makes me so sad, because I used to love my bosses so much and I don’t know how to turn it around. On the other hand, I feel so blessed and loved, having had this special time with the kids, and ill never forget the times we shared. I worked 60-70 hours a week during covid, when the parents were home, and could have been available (mostly the mom, not the dad) but chose not to be. I’ve started therapy to resolve these feelings because I don’t want to leave my job, but yeah, covid changed me.

[Anonymous]

Nope - just doing all the things that need to be done and it's just fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom of older kids, I'm confused why everyone things the pandemic told them something new. Yes the pandemic sucked but we weren't supported before the pandemic either.

Mmm, pretty sure my young school-aged kids could attend school before the pandemic. Suddenly, school became not only optional, but something no decent parent had a right to expect. As PPs have said, you weren't dealing with young kids during the pandemic - just as I don't know what it was like to parent teens during that time period, you don't know what it was like to parent toddlers or preschoolers or kindergartners.

They were in elementary. But I just find this whole younger generation of parents SO effing whiny. Everything is unfair and harder for them than everyone else. Blah blah blah. Deal with it.

And how old are you? Either you're in your 50s/60s with much older kids, in which case you have no idea at all what it was like to parent young kids through the pandemic, or you're in your late 40s and just a few years older but complaining about this "younger generation" of parents which is ridiculous.

I’m 43. And y’all are really whiny.

Ooooh, you’re the snarky “y’all” poster. Awesome.

Go find a new hobby. Crapping on people who are struggling is so 2020.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what burned us all out was seeing that no on GAF about the kids when the world fell apart. I had felt previously that people were generally kind and helpful. Instead people were cruel and self absorbed. It was just very hard dual working parents and no childcare. My middle child was 1.5

Nobody cares about the kids now either. Just letting them get infection after infection of a virus that damages nearly every organ and your immune system. Generation Alpha will be dealing with covid for the rest of their lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am totally traumatized. We also started on the special needs train with our youngest that has been disaster after disaster. My family of origin kind of fell apart. I am so bitter about how hard it is to be a working mom of little kids. I hate and resent my husband for a million reasons. I think he hates me too. I feel like I am a robot version of the person who got a promotion in January 2020 with a 1 and 3 year old.

OP here. I can relate! I got an amazing job offer in November 2019 and started right after Christmas. I'd been been doing ad hoc consulting before that (since having a baby) so it was the reboot of my career and I was thrilled. DC was doing great in full-time daycare, I was getting the hang of my job. Then March 2020 happened, daycare closed (never reopened) and nothing has been the same since. My job was relatively understanding but I was so new. Just all the hope I'd had for the future slowly leeched out of me and now I feel like I often just go through the motions at home and at work. Yesterday I had my kid cook dinner with me and we had a great time and it resulted in trying some new foods they'd been resistant to, and it was great but I also realized that I used to do stuff like that all the time pre-Covid, and now I rarely do. I don't have the energy. I'm just trying to get to the end of the day so I can go to sleep. It sucks.

It sounds like you had some of the toughest ages for Covid in my opinion, OP. My oldest is a bit younger — she was supposed to be starting daycare in April of 2020 and obviously that didn’t happen. But it also means my Covid isolation was a weird extension of my maternity leave isolation and all my Covid feelings are tied up in transitioning to parenting which I feel like makes it way easier to move on from (also: non mobile 4 month olds are so much easier to WFH with than crawlers and toddlers!). But I too hate when I’m so tired from work I find myself looking forward to my kids being in bed. They’re the joy of my life but also so tiring. You’re right, it does suck.