Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)

[Anonymous]

My mother in law does this currently with food and clothes.. literally anything I do she copies me but the crazy part is she doesn’t like me at all.. she’s never accepted me since meeting me 6 years ago but yet she copies everything I do it’s absolutely weird and not flattering like the replies are trying to get at.

[Anonymous]

I only have sons so I imagine that if they partner off someday those women will be my closest barometer for what is on trend when I'm older (because I certainly won't be following TikTok) and I can see myself doing something similar but only because I'm trying to stay connected to what is in style, not trying to be a creeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother in law does this currently with food and clothes.. literally anything I do she copies me but the crazy part is she doesn’t like me at all.. she’s never accepted me since meeting me 6 years ago but yet she copies everything I do it’s absolutely weird and not flattering like the replies are trying to get at.

Name the foods. Oh, matcha? Groundbreaking. Poke bowls? You invented them.

Name the clothing brands. Oh, all to be found at major department stores or online retailers? You sartorial innovator, you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have sons so I imagine that if they partner off someday those women will be my closest barometer for what is on trend when I'm older (because I certainly won't be following TikTok) and I can see myself doing something similar but only because I'm trying to stay connected to what is in style, not trying to be a creeper.

You won’t have a subscription to a single newspaper or magazine? You won’t have the Internet? You won’t be able to go to Nordstrom and get a personal shopper? You won’t be able to go to see the editor’s picks at various fashion websites? You won’t know anyone in their late 20s, early 30s or mid-30s besides people your sons might allegedly date someday? How sad.

What will you do if they turn out to be gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

Oh boy, I could be that co-worker. I look around for styles and sometimes I will buy something I like that I've seen on another person. I fully admit, I have a co-worker who is super stylish and me, being a middle aged millenial who feels like I don't know what's stylish anymore, I've definitely mimicked a few of her styles because I liked them. Not like, the exact same pattern or anything though. That would definitely be too far. But then it keeps going - I have another co-worker who admired a few things I (and some other co-workers) wore and then went an ordered them herself! We were just flattered though. We all get along and don't see this as a big deal.

My MIL does some irritating things like folding my laundry, etc, redoing kids drawers, but not copying what I wear. I still view that as flattery, it wouldn't bother me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

Oh boy, I could be that co-worker. I look around for styles and sometimes I will buy something I like that I've seen on another person. I fully admit, I have a co-worker who is super stylish and me, being a middle aged millenial who feels like I don't know what's stylish anymore, I've definitely mimicked a few of her styles because I liked them. Not like, the exact same pattern or anything though. That would definitely be too far. But then it keeps going - I have another co-worker who admired a few things I (and some other co-workers) wore and then went an ordered them herself! We were just flattered though. We all get along and don't see this as a big deal.

My MIL does some irritating things like folding my laundry, etc, redoing kids drawers, but not copying what I wear. I still view that as flattery, it wouldn't bother me!

DP to add, having a "signature scent" seems kinda weird/controlling - nobody else can have that scent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, very petty.

beyond petty, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have sons so I imagine that if they partner off someday those women will be my closest barometer for what is on trend when I'm older (because I certainly won't be following TikTok) and I can see myself doing something similar but only because I'm trying to stay connected to what is in style, not trying to be a creeper.

You won’t have a subscription to a single newspaper or magazine? You won’t have the Internet? You won’t be able to go to Nordstrom and get a personal shopper? You won’t be able to go to see the editor’s picks at various fashion websites? You won’t know anyone in their late 20s, early 30s or mid-30s besides people your sons might allegedly date someday? How sad.

What will you do if they turn out to be gay?

Fashion websites are all over the board and "you won't be able to go to Nordstrom and get a personal shopper" is the most DCUM out of touch post ever....

It's ALWAYS been super common among women to say "hey, that's cute, where'd you get it?!" and then go out and buy it. Apparently, now it's offensive, when did this change occur? Is this a Gen Y or Gen Z thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that if your sister or SIL did this it wouldn't bother you but your MIL it bothers you? Why?

I think it would bother me more if someone closer to my age did this as it would seem more competitive rather than flattery. She's old. She likes how you look in stuff and gets it. CLEARLY she's not competing with you or one-upping you like if someone your own age would be doing.

+1

NP here. This is exactly my thinking about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My own mom did this to me. It was one of her many narcissistic traits. It didn’t matter that I told her it made me uncomfortable etc. we don’t speak anymore.

How is this a narcisstic trait? Wouldn't be her trying to get you t wear her style?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have sons so I imagine that if they partner off someday those women will be my closest barometer for what is on trend when I'm older (because I certainly won't be following TikTok) and I can see myself doing something similar but only because I'm trying to stay connected to what is in style, not trying to be a creeper.

Please don't do this to your DILs. Be yourself and get inspiration elsewhere, otherwise it'll likely come off poorly.

[Anonymous]

My MIL has done this; quietly copied my hairstyle, purchases, hobbies and never ever acknowledges that I inspired her or that I did it first. We live near each other.

MIL can’t give a compliment. Would never say, “I love how you’ve matted + framed your vintage family photo gallery wall” but instead has to tell me how talented her friend is because she created a lovely gallery wall with old family photos.

Or, natters on about random people she’s met who so devotedly give their time to help others, while I’ve done same for decades personally and professionally.

It’s weird and competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have sons so I imagine that if they partner off someday those women will be my closest barometer for what is on trend when I'm older (because I certainly won't be following TikTok) and I can see myself doing something similar but only because I'm trying to stay connected to what is in style, not trying to be a creeper.

You won’t have a subscription to a single newspaper or magazine? You won’t have the Internet? You won’t be able to go to Nordstrom and get a personal shopper? You won’t be able to go to see the editor’s picks at various fashion websites? You won’t know anyone in their late 20s, early 30s or mid-30s besides people your sons might allegedly date someday? How sad.

What will you do if they turn out to be gay?

Fashion websites are all over the board and "you won't be able to go to Nordstrom and get a personal shopper" is the most DCUM out of touch post ever....

It's ALWAYS been super common among women to say "hey, that's cute, where'd you get it?!" and then go out and buy it. Apparently, now it's offensive, when did this change occur? Is this a Gen Y or Gen Z thing?

Hmmm, I thought the problem was people who “copied,” not people who asked where you got something. Pick a lane.

[Anonymous]

Our guest room had a weird outlet arrangement near the bed so I had to kind of stack some things so a cord would reach when the inlaws came to stay. It was never mentioned by anyone. Later when we were staying at my inlaws' house, I noticed MIL had arranged the same kind of stack in two of their bedrooms! (Think something like a pencil case on a cake pan on a side table) Too specific to be a coincidence. I didn't say anything. What could I say, "Oh, I see you came up with the same solution for an outlet problem you don't have"?

Maybe she thought I was trying some modern decor? It's still funny to me.

[Anonymous]

I have such mixed feelings about this. My mom, imo, had some type of personality disorder and she always copied people she admired. I had suggested for years we go to a particular place for our family vacation and she nixed it every year until her friend went, then we finally got to go. She was dismissive about my son's food allergies until that same friend had a grandchild with food allergies and all of a sudden my mom was on board and even mistakenly referred to my son's epipen as an inhaler since her friend's grandchild had both food allergies and asthma. It was annoying and sad.

OTOH, I feel bad for the attorney who copied the pp because I also have a hard time finding good looking glasses and it's hard to find a style when you're working a ridiculous number of hours per week. I did once buy the same unique item as a co-worker, but I never wore it to work.