Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Copying is the highest form of flattery.

Until it’s about something deeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a girlfriend once who was really cool, I loved hanging out with her and we got along very well but then she introduced me to a guy from one of her classes she had befriended and when he hit on me and asked me out she lost her mind - she knew he didn’t like her in a romantic way, but she was firm in her conviction that I should not even consider dating any man she was attracted to and had met first so had ‘dibs’ on.

Like owning a brand of perfume, or a designer handbag style, or a clothing brand or style. You main characters who are freaking out over a family member or friend or colleague ‘stealing’ your style have ‘stolen’ all of your own styles from some designer who is far more fashion savvy than you.

Get over yourselves.

I hear what you’re saying, truly. But you might just have to accept that you don’t “get it”. Both my mother and a good friend of mine did this to me. It was very single white female for those of us old enough to remember that reference. For example, for years I had used a certain mythical creature as my online name back when we didn’t use our real names as much for that. I talked about why I’d picked it and why I identified with it. I used it for years. Years later, my (now former) bff got a tattoo of said creature and claimed it was her symbol for years. Which was not true. And never acknowledged that it was something I had used in past decades. Is there anything wrong or unethical or illegal here? Absolutely not. But it is WEIRD. Now I highly suspect, after years and years of other observations and patterns, that she is actually bipolar. Just saying that I know it seems petty from the outside, but there is definitely something strange about chronic mimicking behavior, especially when it’s not acknowledged (“Oh wow, I love that bag. I’m totally getting one too. You have amazing style!’”).

Oh, FFS. You did not invent and do not own mermaids/dragons/gryphons/ whatever mythical creature your friend got tattooed. The whole point about mythology is that it is shared within a culture. Go read some Joseph Campbell and stop stewing about your friend’s phoenix tattoo.

[Anonymous]

TBH I am kind of a trendsetter and a lot of people copy my style, jokes, etc. My boss, other colleagues, and my sister both do it a lot. I find it flattering. Usually they ask me where I got stuff and I happily send them links.

Is this a new role for you? Enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

You are nuts. You do not own a fragrance. You do not have a signature scent. Anyone can buy any perfume they want. The fact that you think you own it speaks volumes about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a girlfriend once who was really cool, I loved hanging out with her and we got along very well but then she introduced me to a guy from one of her classes she had befriended and when he hit on me and asked me out she lost her mind - she knew he didn’t like her in a romantic way, but she was firm in her conviction that I should not even consider dating any man she was attracted to and had met first so had ‘dibs’ on.

Like owning a brand of perfume, or a designer handbag style, or a clothing brand or style. You main characters who are freaking out over a family member or friend or colleague ‘stealing’ your style have ‘stolen’ all of your own styles from some designer who is far more fashion savvy than you.

Get over yourselves.

I hear what you’re saying, truly. But you might just have to accept that you don’t “get it”. Both my mother and a good friend of mine did this to me. It was very single white female for those of us old enough to remember that reference. For example, for years I had used a certain mythical creature as my online name back when we didn’t use our real names as much for that. I talked about why I’d picked it and why I identified with it. I used it for years. Years later, my (now former) bff got a tattoo of said creature and claimed it was her symbol for years. Which was not true. And never acknowledged that it was something I had used in past decades. Is there anything wrong or unethical or illegal here? Absolutely not. But it is WEIRD. Now I highly suspect, after years and years of other observations and patterns, that she is actually bipolar. Just saying that I know it seems petty from the outside, but there is definitely something strange about chronic mimicking behavior, especially when it’s not acknowledged (“Oh wow, I love that bag. I’m totally getting one too. You have amazing style!’”).

Wow, friend got a unicorn tattoo and never bothered to tell you how into them she was because you were overbearing about how it was yours. Funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

In your examples, it's weird and irritating. But a MIL who copies her DIL? Not so much. As others have pointed out, peers copying you, especially in the workplace, can be attempts at undermining, intimidation or general rivalry. It's very negative. But an elderly Grandma who has nothing going on in her life and is so desperate that she copies the younger generation? Let it go already. It's not going to get your fired or draw comments at board meetings, is it?

Peer copying you at work could be someone trying to figure out what is appropriate wear. Boden dresses are ubiquitous. High heels are common. But, no, the lawyer is copying the admin across the hall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Copying is the highest form of flattery.

Until it’s about something deeper.

Except it isn't copying. It's often that we have such a small menu of clothing to choose from that most of us at work and play dress alike. These women are self centered and insecure to believe someone is copying them.

I was an early adapter of a specific cute summer shoe most of my friends hadn't seen. They shopped at nicer shoe stores than I did. They loved how cute they were and several started wearing them. They didn't copy me, I just found them before they did. That's normal. Not weird.

[Anonymous]

The most insecure hateful woman I've ever known is obsessed with the thought that people are copying her. She treats everything in life, particularly things related to her children, as a death match competition. She will elbow anyone out of the way so she and hers get the most of whatever there is to have.

She is always angry about someone copying her. She even posted here about how angry she was that her neighbors copied the landscaping she had done in her yard. Basic foundation bushes that everyone uses and a boulder with oversized grass was hers and hers alone. She ignored the fact that there were only 2 companies doing all the work in the area and that was the standard installation they did for everyone.

We had sidelights at our front door and when I was getting shutters added the company mentioned that could make long shutters for those as well. The hysteria people heard when she found out I had them...

She was so crazy competitive about her children that when there was a special awards day ceremony for a subset of kids at school, she parked in her car in our neighborhood in a specific spot to see who left and headed toward the school.

If anyone from my neighborhood reads this, they will know who she is.


Most of the people who complain about being copied are really ignorant about how things work. Ie most stores carry the same clothes and none of us look unique, neighbors having the same plants in their yard isn't copying - it's what every landscaping company is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a girlfriend once who was really cool, I loved hanging out with her and we got along very well but then she introduced me to a guy from one of her classes she had befriended and when he hit on me and asked me out she lost her mind - she knew he didn’t like her in a romantic way, but she was firm in her conviction that I should not even consider dating any man she was attracted to and had met first so had ‘dibs’ on.

Like owning a brand of perfume, or a designer handbag style, or a clothing brand or style. You main characters who are freaking out over a family member or friend or colleague ‘stealing’ your style have ‘stolen’ all of your own styles from some designer who is far more fashion savvy than you.

Get over yourselves.

I hear what you’re saying, truly. But you might just have to accept that you don’t “get it”. Both my mother and a good friend of mine did this to me. It was very single white female for those of us old enough to remember that reference. For example, for years I had used a certain mythical creature as my online name back when we didn’t use our real names as much for that. I talked about why I’d picked it and why I identified with it. I used it for years. Years later, my (now former) bff got a tattoo of said creature and claimed it was her symbol for years. Which was not true. And never acknowledged that it was something I had used in past decades. Is there anything wrong or unethical or illegal here? Absolutely not. But it is WEIRD. Now I highly suspect, after years and years of other observations and patterns, that she is actually bipolar. Just saying that I know it seems petty from the outside, but there is definitely something strange about chronic mimicking behavior, especially when it’s not acknowledged (“Oh wow, I love that bag. I’m totally getting one too. You have amazing style!’”).

Oh, FFS. You did not invent and do not own mermaids/dragons/gryphons/ whatever mythical creature your friend got tattooed. The whole point about mythology is that it is shared within a culture. Go read some Joseph Campbell and stop stewing about your friend’s phoenix tattoo.

You really are missing the point. And why are you so defensive? Guilty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH I am kind of a trendsetter and a lot of people copy my style, jokes, etc. My boss, other colleagues, and my sister both do it a lot. I find it flattering. Usually they ask me where I got stuff and I happily send them links.

Is this a new role for you? Enjoy it!

Unless you make your clothing or design it yourself and have it made by a tailor to your exact design specifications, you are not a “trend-setter.” If you buy off the rack even from high-end stores, you are not a trend-setter. Get over yourself, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Copying is the highest form of flattery.

Until it’s about something deeper.

Except it isn't copying. It's often that we have such a small menu of clothing to choose from that most of us at work and play dress alike. These women are self centered and insecure to believe someone is copying them.

I was an early adapter of a specific cute summer shoe most of my friends hadn't seen. They shopped at nicer shoe stores than I did. They loved how cute they were and several started wearing them. They didn't copy me, I just found them before they did. That's normal. Not weird.

I’m not really talking about clothing because things come in and out of style. I mean we all follow trends sometimes. I’m talking the single white female type of copying. If you are too young to know it, go watch that movie.

[Anonymous]

See? It can get weird.

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/what-it-means-when-someone-copies-you/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

You are nuts. You do not own a fragrance. You do not have a signature scent. Anyone can buy any perfume they want. The fact that you think you own it speaks volumes about you.

Someone touched a nerve!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

You are nuts. You do not own a fragrance. You do not have a signature scent. Anyone can buy any perfume they want. The fact that you think you own it speaks volumes about you.

Someone touched a nerve!

NP. Unless someone’s “signature fragrance” is something they actually designed themselves (which is totally possible—online companies do it, so does that perfume shop in Georgetown), then it is a popular fragrance. Whether it is Chanel No. 5, Angel, Donna Karan Cashmere, or something by Jo Malone, it’s not “signature,” it is off the rack, it is marketed, it is widely available online and in retail stores nationwide and worldwide. It’s not “signature” if anyone can purchase it from any department store, Sephora, etc. Even if it is some “unusual” fragrance like grass or pepper or salt or whatever. Unless you custom-blended it, it is not unique. And even the “customizable” fragrances are paint-by-numbers, so if you choose amber, vanilla and a hint of ranunculus as your three choices from a set of 120 possibilities, someone else probably chose those same components, too.

[Anonymous]

Ha OP is offended that she's basic and barely ahead of old lady at hopping on trends.