Mother in law is a copy cat (petty post)

[Anonymous]

I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

In your examples, it's weird and irritating. But a MIL who copies her DIL? Not so much. As others have pointed out, peers copying you, especially in the workplace, can be attempts at undermining, intimidation or general rivalry. It's very negative. But an elderly Grandma who has nothing going on in her life and is so desperate that she copies the younger generation? Let it go already. It's not going to get your fired or draw comments at board meetings, is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

That is insane. In what way is that perfume your intellectual property?

As the kids would say, your main character syndrome is strong.

[Anonymous]

It would make me pity her a bit. She's clearly not sure how to make decisions and trying to be "cool."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

THIS!! Completely agree. We spend time researching to make our own style. To have it replicated is completely IP theft!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

THIS!! Completely agree. We spend time researching to make our own style. To have it replicated is completely IP theft!!

No. It isn’t. It really isn’t, lol. Agree with pp re main character syndrome (sorry, pp, is repeating the phrase you used IP theft? )

[Anonymous]

Buy one of those Little House on the Prairie dresses that are so popular now. 3 tiers, puffy sleeves, a few ruffles in a small print. Maybe she will copy that look too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I commiserate. A coworker did this to me. It was the lawyer in the office across the hall from me, and it got really weird. At first it was glasses; I got glasses for reading and for looking at the computer screen. She got the exact same glasses -- with zero prescription. She always wore ugly loafer type shoes, but then she started wearing high heels that looked just like mine, and she couldn't walk in them to save her life. Then it was my bag, she got the same one. Then she started ordering the same Boden dresses I was wearing. It creeped me the hell out. I never said anything -- what was I going to do? Cry out "You're copying me!" like an 8th grader? No longer at that job.

My sister has done some of this as well. A few years ago at Christmas my niece was holding a bottle of perfume and saying how "We get it for mom every year! It's her signature scent! She's always been known for it!" ... and... it was my signature scent. From about 20 years ago. I love that perfume and I was known for it, not her. I don't wear it anymore, it's very out of date. Super irritating anyway.

To the people who think it is flattery and say people shouldn't be annoyed -- I say it is more like IP theft. It annoys the hell out of me.

That is insane. In what way is that perfume your intellectual property?

As the kids would say, your main character syndrome is strong.

Yes. omg.

[Anonymous]

A MIL? It's weird, but assume she thinks she will be most stylish if she is like you.

A coworker or friend, it's stalkerish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s so weird when people are bothered by this. I would be flattered if pretty much anyone I knew tried to replicate my style.

This wouldn't bother me either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means she likes your style and is trying to emulate. Would not bother me.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

I had a girlfriend once who was really cool, I loved hanging out with her and we got along very well but then she introduced me to a guy from one of her classes she had befriended and when he hit on me and asked me out she lost her mind - she knew he didn’t like her in a romantic way, but she was firm in her conviction that I should not even consider dating any man she was attracted to and had met first so had ‘dibs’ on.

Like owning a brand of perfume, or a designer handbag style, or a clothing brand or style. You main characters who are freaking out over a family member or friend or colleague ‘stealing’ your style have ‘stolen’ all of your own styles from some designer who is far more fashion savvy than you.

Get over yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a girlfriend once who was really cool, I loved hanging out with her and we got along very well but then she introduced me to a guy from one of her classes she had befriended and when he hit on me and asked me out she lost her mind - she knew he didn’t like her in a romantic way, but she was firm in her conviction that I should not even consider dating any man she was attracted to and had met first so had ‘dibs’ on.

Like owning a brand of perfume, or a designer handbag style, or a clothing brand or style. You main characters who are freaking out over a family member or friend or colleague ‘stealing’ your style have ‘stolen’ all of your own styles from some designer who is far more fashion savvy than you.

Get over yourselves.

I hear what you’re saying, truly. But you might just have to accept that you don’t “get it”. Both my mother and a good friend of mine did this to me. It was very single white female for those of us old enough to remember that reference. For example, for years I had used a certain mythical creature as my online name back when we didn’t use our real names as much for that. I talked about why I’d picked it and why I identified with it. I used it for years. Years later, my (now former) bff got a tattoo of said creature and claimed it was her symbol for years. Which was not true. And never acknowledged that it was something I had used in past decades. Is there anything wrong or unethical or illegal here? Absolutely not. But it is WEIRD. Now I highly suspect, after years and years of other observations and patterns, that she is actually bipolar. Just saying that I know it seems petty from the outside, but there is definitely something strange about chronic mimicking behavior, especially when it’s not acknowledged (“Oh wow, I love that bag. I’m totally getting one too. You have amazing style!’”).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean I just bought something green and baggy jeans and it’s because all our clothes were chosen for us by Meryl Streep I think for some reason.

This cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh pp!

[Anonymous]

Copying is the highest form of flattery.