Dating a man who makes less than me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I'm not talking about flying first class or front row tickets to Taylor Swift. I'm talking about a guy who just drove 10 hours to and from a midwestern state for a one-week vacation to save money on airfare. There's a point when your time should be more valuable.

Okay OP, I hear you. This not the man for you. Forget front row at Taylor Swift, you all just do not seem to have compatible lifestyles. He may be a nice guy, friendly etc, but when the rubber meets the road you all are “evenly yoked” to use a Bible term. And I sense that this has already gotten old for you. Keep him as a friend but not a romantic partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. I'm not talking about flying first class or front row tickets to Taylor Swift. I'm talking about a guy who just drove 10 hours to and from a midwestern state for a one-week vacation to save money on airfare. There's a point when your time should be more valuable.

CORRECTION
Okay OP, I hear you. This not the man for you. Forget front row at Taylor Swift, you all just do not seem to have compatible lifestyles. He may be a nice guy, friendly etc, but when the rubber meets the road you all are NOT “evenly yoked” to use a Bible term. And I sense that this has already gotten old for you. Keep him as a friend but not a romantic partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The lower earner's job could be more prestigious or important too. Money isn't the only symbol of status and impact. I make significantly more than my spouse but they undoubtedly have a more socially prestigious position, which opens a lot of doors.

I agree with you, but that is not the case here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. I'm not talking about flying first class or front row tickets to Taylor Swift. I'm talking about a guy who just drove 10 hours to and from a midwestern state for a one-week vacation to save money on airfare. There's a point when your time should be more valuable.

Okay OP, I hear you. This not the man for you. Forget front row at Taylor Swift, you all just do not seem to have compatible lifestyles. He may be a nice guy, friendly etc, but when the rubber meets the road you all are “evenly yoked” to use a Bible term. And I sense that this has already gotten old for you. Keep him as a friend but not a romantic partner.

I'm not sure that is possible. The mojo is strong with this one. There is good chemistry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

Nope. I am a woman who made more than my dh for most of our lives though. I actually grasped your concept quite easily. If you want someone who can afford to shower you in gifts and trips and dinners you need to find someone else. Throw him back for another lady who will appreciate him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

Nope. I am a woman who made more than my dh for most of our lives though. I actually grasped your concept quite easily. If you want someone who can afford to shower you in gifts and trips and dinners you need to find someone else. Throw him back for another lady who will appreciate him!

No, you haven’t grasped it at all. Please reread the posts from others who did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

Nope. I am a woman who made more than my dh for most of our lives though. I actually grasped your concept quite easily. If you want someone who can afford to shower you in gifts and trips and dinners you need to find someone else. Throw him back for another lady who will appreciate him!

No, you haven’t grasped it at all. Please reread the posts from others who did.

Many others did the same as I did... It's pretty clear.

-You don't want to do cheap activities
-He will only pay for cheap activities
-You don't want to pay for more expensive activities
-You are already resenting him for this

What else is there to grasp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

Nope. I am a woman who made more than my dh for most of our lives though. I actually grasped your concept quite easily. If you want someone who can afford to shower you in gifts and trips and dinners you need to find someone else. Throw him back for another lady who will appreciate him!

No, you haven’t grasped it at all. Please reread the posts from others who did.

Many others did the same as I did... It's pretty clear.

-You don't want to do cheap activities
-He will only pay for cheap activities
-You don't want to pay for more expensive activities
-You are already resenting him for this

What else is there to grasp?

I would pay for more expensive activities, or would share the cost of more expensive activities, but he either does not want to or cannot. How is this hard to understand? Oh, bc it doesn’t fit your narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

Nope. I am a woman who made more than my dh for most of our lives though. I actually grasped your concept quite easily. If you want someone who can afford to shower you in gifts and trips and dinners you need to find someone else. Throw him back for another lady who will appreciate him!

No, you haven’t grasped it at all. Please reread the posts from others who did.

Many others did the same as I did... It's pretty clear.

-You don't want to do cheap activities
-He will only pay for cheap activities
-You don't want to pay for more expensive activities
-You are already resenting him for this

What else is there to grasp?

I would pay for more expensive activities, or would share the cost of more expensive activities, but he either does not want to or cannot. How is this hard to understand? Oh, bc it doesn’t fit your narrative.

You said you don’t mind paying ‘here and there’. You said you ‘think’ he would be upset but you don’t actually know. I have no narrative, you’re the one calling him cheap and then trying to find a way to be ok with it lol.

[Anonymous]

Oliver Garden is a red-flag in dating?

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. I enjoy certain things as well and wanted to be with someone who enjoyed those things too. I don't need to live a life going to luxury hotels, but I want to be able to travel to nice places and enjoy nice things. And there is nothing wrong with that. I think you could have phrased your post a little bit better, but I don't think there is anything wrong with your overall sentiment. You and he are not a good match, and that's ok. You shouldn't waste anymore of each other's time.

[Anonymous]

I broke up with someone because they didn’t like my car. Dump em and marry up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you a catch... for someone else.
You seem to enjoy the finer things in life, and just want someone else to pay for them. There are many many men who will sign up for this arrangement.
Throw this one back.

OP did not say she wanted someone else to pay for her to enjoy the finer things. She likes to do certain activities that she perceives he cannot afford. She seems kind of okay paying more to enjoy those activities with him but perceives that he will be offended if she pays.

"Don’t mind buying tickets or dinner now and then but always living the life of free/cheap/public is going to get old really fast
foreseeing that crappy vacations, appreciating nature bc we have to, and not great music could start dividing us"

Yeah, clearly sounds like she's super on-board supporting this lifestyle. If she dates this person she will be "settling" for his lifestyle, because that's who will be paying. I'm not saying one has to be a sugar momma, but it's clear she wants someone who can buy her all these nice things. How dare she be forced to appreciate nature!

OP. I'm not sure why you are fixated on this argument but it seems very hard for you to comprehend what I am saying, thought other posters seemed to have grasped it without too much trouble. Are you a man by any chance?

Nope. I am a woman who made more than my dh for most of our lives though. I actually grasped your concept quite easily. If you want someone who can afford to shower you in gifts and trips and dinners you need to find someone else. Throw him back for another lady who will appreciate him!

No, you haven’t grasped it at all. Please reread the posts from others who did.

Many others did the same as I did... It's pretty clear.

-You don't want to do cheap activities
-He will only pay for cheap activities
-You don't want to pay for more expensive activities
-You are already resenting him for this

What else is there to grasp?

I would pay for more expensive activities, or would share the cost of more expensive activities, but he either does not want to or cannot. How is this hard to understand? Oh, bc it doesn’t fit your narrative.

You said you don’t mind paying ‘here and there’. You said you ‘think’ he would be upset but you don’t actually know. I have no narrative, you’re the one calling him cheap and then trying to find a way to be ok with it lol.

I never called him cheap. He is of lesser means. That is totally different from cheap. You are so offensive and also, wrong. Could you just quit commenting? You’re the only one here who can’t comprehend the content here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Less is fine. I make more than DH, and have for as long as we've known each other. But if he doesn't make enough to be self-supporting, that is not workable. If you think he cannot afford any kind of date other than free, this is not a reasonable long-term prospect.

It's more likely that you are being dramatic to make yourself feel important, though.

He supports himself, just in a very modest way. He has some beliefs that I think have made it hard for him to earn more. He is very drawn to helping the downtrodden and outsiders, which is great but there are ways to do that that do not result in you yourself becoming one of them.