Staying Pretty

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

That’s just a lie. There is not a guy in the universe with any kind of fitness routine— and god forbid running marathons— you will not hear all about.

Disagree. My dh does triathlons, masters swim in the mornings before work, runs during lunch and never talks about it. He eats really healthfully too, a spinach salad heaped with vegetables for lunch every day, barely drinks and doesn't talk about it. (1.5 hours working out daily, 30 min prepping vegetables)

What he really wouldn't talk about is how I got him wearing sunscreen and moisturizer (with HA and vitamin c) every morning, tretinoin at night. He couldn't stand the tretinoin, but now it's just like flossing and he does it.

I have heard his friends joke about his high metabolism and how low maintenance he is. He actually thinks he's low maintenance too. I can't imagine most of them wake at 5am for masters swim .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop living for various rando guys you meet from the internet. Start living your own fabulous healthy life and having your own interests.

This, but also, don't be too weird about food if you are dating. Relax and have a cheeseburger once in a while. No one wants to hear about your macros and calories; it's boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I spend 30 mins a day on skincare…..washing twice a day, exfoliating every other day, sunscreen, moisturizer, gua sha, eye cream, lash serum, and weekly facial. I spend 30 mins a week on nails (I don’t do gel or anything fake).

I find it weird that a guy would resent this 30 min a day, which is split between morning and evening. Or resenting your workout time. The workout time is what you need to be healthy (not just pretty). If a guy resents that, he’s not worth being with, because what you’re doing doesn’t sound excessive.

However if you’re very rigid about your routine and can’t be spontaneous…like women who won’t even let a guy see them in the morning without their “face” on, l could see that being annoying. Or not being able to just crash after a fun night out and skipping your routine once in a while - l would also find that annoying. That’s my personality though, l suspect l’m less rigid than you in many ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

I'm 52. I wash my face with gold dial soap and follow with some target brand moisturizer. I do style my hair every day, which takes maybe 20 minutes to blow out and curl. I use suave shampoo and conditioner and pantene hair smoother. I put Vaseline on my lips and brush my eyebrows and lashes. No make up. My exercise is walking 2-3 miles daily, hiking 2-4 times a week and push ups/planks. I still turn heads and, if I weren't already married, I could easily attract a partner. If you have to work as hard as you do to look basically decent, you either have impossible standards or you were starting from an unfortunate place.

I am 59 and look about 45. I don't even take my makeup off most days. I moisturize once most days. I wash my hair once a week, and it looks good without having to do much to it. I am a little chubby, which helps your face look less wrinkled as you age.

This is all to say that a lot of this is genetic and having a mother who made me wear sunscreen and a hat outside when I was young. There is only so much one can do.

PS-- my pedicures also last 4+ weeks if I exfoliate and moisturize my feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

Nothing is worse than a golfer! They recant every hole. I was once at a function and my friend's husband was going into great detail about his golf game, and I thought, "I don't have to listen to this because we are not married." LOL

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

That’s just a lie. There is not a guy in the universe with any kind of fitness routine— and god forbid running marathons— you will not hear all about.

haha, this is true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

I'm 52. I wash my face with gold dial soap and follow with some target brand moisturizer. I do style my hair every day, which takes maybe 20 minutes to blow out and curl. I use suave shampoo and conditioner and pantene hair smoother. I put Vaseline on my lips and brush my eyebrows and lashes. No make up. My exercise is walking 2-3 miles daily, hiking 2-4 times a week and push ups/planks. I still turn heads and, if I weren't already married, I could easily attract a partner. If you have to work as hard as you do to look basically decent, you either have impossible standards or you were starting from an unfortunate place.

I am 59 and look about 45. I don't even take my makeup off most days. I moisturize once most days. I wash my hair once a week, and it looks good without having to do much to it. I am a little chubby, which helps your face look less wrinkled as you age.

This is all to say that a lot of this is genetic and having a mother who made me wear sunscreen and a hat outside when I was young. There is only so much one can do.

PS-- my pedicures also last 4+ weeks if I exfoliate and moisturize my feet.

Come on now. The bolded frees you from 80% of the work OP has to do. There is nothing genetic about being slim in middle age.

-A chubby middle age woman.

[Anonymous]

My dad's wife is like this. She can't do anything or be seen by anyone in the morning before 9 AM, so everyone has to wait around for her. She spends a ton of money on it. My dad keeps his mouth shut but I know he thinks it's dumb. After all of that, she still doesn't look very good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad's wife is like this. She can't do anything or be seen by anyone in the morning before 9 AM, so everyone has to wait around for her. She spends a ton of money on it. My dad keeps his mouth shut but I know he thinks it's dumb. After all of that, she still doesn't look very good.

This is such a mean spirited comment. Talk to a therapist please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad's wife is like this. She can't do anything or be seen by anyone in the morning before 9 AM, so everyone has to wait around for her. She spends a ton of money on it. My dad keeps his mouth shut but I know he thinks it's dumb. After all of that, she still doesn't look very good.

This is such a mean spirited comment. Talk to a therapist please.

The truth hurts. Other people just do not care very much how you look, especially if it inconveniences or bores them. The person you're dating or married to might care a little and tolerate your efforts, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

Why is this in the Relationship forum if not to discuss how it impacts relationships? There's a Diet and Exercise forum, and also Beauty and Fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to stay attractive by working out, eating healthy, and having a disciplined beauty regimen. Men I date appreciate that I look good. I’m middle aged and all of this stuff takes more time and money as I age. Even though guys like that I look nice, many don’t want to support the stuff I have to do to keep up. For instance, they may resent the time it takes or that I have to be strict with my diet. How do others handle this?

By accepting that they do not think it's worth it for you to look "nice". You could look less nice and put in less effort and they'd be happier with that.

A lot of men do not actually feel the need for a very thin partner. Tons of men are quite happy with a medium build, especially as you get older and dieting makes your face look bad.

[Anonymous]

I'm a scientist married to another scientist and perhaps because of that, make no secret of all the little things I do to look like I want to look.

It's all pretty simple, since I'm lucky to be genetically blessed with slimness and rosy skin. Now I'm in my 40s, the one thing that I've added that does take time is dying my hair with henna and indigo at home. I walk about with my mushroom head, as I affectionately call it (a shower cap with a cute print on it), and my husband and kids find it hilarious. The one thing I've given up on, because it would require surgery and I won't do cosmetic surgery, is my squishy belly. I select clothes to highlight my high waist, and that also hide the marshmallow below, but really it's all super squishy there. Oh well.

There is no way I'm doing hours of exercise and skincare like OP. I hope she enjoys doing that.

[Anonymous]

^ or strict dieting. I just made a delicious cake and plan on having multiple large slices!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

It takes a lot for men too.

But the men don't talk about it. If they do, we'd roll our eyes. I recently brought to my DH's attention that most of the middle aged men around him are dyeing their hair and going to the gym daily. He did not even notice. He thought he was aging prematurely.

That’s just a lie. There is not a guy in the universe with any kind of fitness routine— and god forbid running marathons— you will not hear all about.

Disagree. My dh does triathlons, masters swim in the mornings before work, runs during lunch and never talks about it. He eats really healthfully too, a spinach salad heaped with vegetables for lunch every day, barely drinks and doesn't talk about it. (1.5 hours working out daily, 30 min prepping vegetables)

What he really wouldn't talk about is how I got him wearing sunscreen and moisturizer (with HA and vitamin c) every morning, tretinoin at night. He couldn't stand the tretinoin, but now it's just like flossing and he does it.

I have heard his friends joke about his high metabolism and how low maintenance he is. He actually thinks he's low maintenance too. I can't imagine most of them wake at 5am for masters swim.

I'm guessing his triathlon/swim/gym friends hear the stuff (and he hears theirs). That's the best, I find. Chattering with someone who knows and cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us don't have to work as hard as you do to look great.

Once again, the competitive-for-no-reason DCUM posters arrive.