My girlfriend is mean to her daughter and it makes me uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should leave her. And you should tell her why.

This times a million.
Can the dad get custody? This child is at risk for abuse by the next BF who agrees with her. Heartbreaking.

I don't think the dad has any involvement, but I'm not entirely sure. She's never mentioned custody or visitation or anything.

[Anonymous]

Oooh.

[Anonymous]

Write it out. Then read it a week from the event. How does it sound to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should leave her. And you should tell her why.

This times a million.
Can the dad get custody? This child is at risk for abuse by the next BF who agrees with her. Heartbreaking.

I don't think the dad has any involvement, but I'm not entirely sure. She's never mentioned custody or visitation or anything.

Sounds like you don't know much about this person at all, excepting that she's a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should leave her. And you should tell her why.

This times a million.
Can the dad get custody? This child is at risk for abuse by the next BF who agrees with her. Heartbreaking.

I don't think the dad has any involvement, but I'm not entirely sure. She's never mentioned custody or visitation or anything.

Haven't you asked? That seems like a pretty important thing to know about your girlfriend...you know, who is your child's father and where is he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like an awful person.

Except for this one thing, she is really awesome. She's funny and kind and interesting. I like her a lot except for this. I try to defend her daughter when she says mean things about her, but I've only met the kid a couple of times and don't know her well so it's hard.

It's not hard. Do you want to be in a relationship with somebody who abuses her power over her child???? Maybe you do, but think about that before you make long term decisions. No 6 year old is a bad kid. Issues at age 6 are a direct result of failure to parent or simply bad parenting at that point.

[Anonymous]

Haha! This post is funny to me. My 7 yo is very mean, disrespectful and rude at home (tells us to shut up, get out of her room, says "not happening" when we want her to eat or get a bath or go to bed, and hits her father and sister) but in public or at school she is an absolute angel. So, I am sure if I complain about her bad behavior, they do not believe me or think I am a bad Mom. But, really, she will be so sweet in public and as soon as we get in the car, she pulls my seat belt hard so it chokes around my neck while laughing gleefully. WE are working on a behavior chart with her and are trying hard to spend more attention doing things with her without any interruptions or no phone and it seems to work sometimes. I feel bad for this Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like an awful person.

Except for this one thing, she is really awesome. She's funny and kind and interesting. I like her a lot except for this. I try to defend her daughter when she says mean things about her, but I've only met the kid a couple of times and don't know her well so it's hard.

She is NOT KIND. That poor child will be damaged for much of her life because of this type of cruel treatment from her own mother (not to mention what she says and does to the child when no one is around). A parent's job is to love their child unconditionally. Sadly, you are not able to be of support to that very unfortunate child.
You already know what to do with this relationship.

I meant she's kind to other people. Like she helped a friend who was moving to unpack, held the door for an old couple, and she brought me soup when I was sick. Stuff like that.

That bar is low, my friend. Holding the door for an old couple? That is simple human decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha! This post is funny to me. My 7 yo is very mean, disrespectful and rude at home (tells us to shut up, get out of her room, says "not happening" when we want her to eat or get a bath or go to bed, and hits her father and sister) but in public or at school she is an absolute angel. So, I am sure if I complain about her bad behavior, they do not believe me or think I am a bad Mom. But, really, she will be so sweet in public and as soon as we get in the car, she pulls my seat belt hard so it chokes around my neck while laughing gleefully. WE are working on a behavior chart with her and are trying hard to spend more attention doing things with her without any interruptions or no phone and it seems to work sometimes. I feel bad for this Mom.

She is acting out at home...I suspect you know why. If she was truly mean, rude and disrespectful, she'd be that way at school, too. Don't give up on your child. Dig deep and give her what she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like an awful person.

Except for this one thing, she is really awesome. She's funny and kind and interesting. I like her a lot except for this. I try to defend her daughter when she says mean things about her, but I've only met the kid a couple of times and don't know her well so it's hard.

She is NOT KIND. That poor child will be damaged for much of her life because of this type of cruel treatment from her own mother (not to mention what she says and does to the child when no one is around). A parent's job is to love their child unconditionally. Sadly, you are not able to be of support to that very unfortunate child.
You already know what to do with this relationship.

I meant she's kind to other people. Like she helped a friend who was moving to unpack, held the door for an old couple, and she brought me soup when I was sick. Stuff like that.

That bar is low, my friend. Holding the door for an old couple? That is simple human decency.

You'd be surprised how many people lack human decency in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha! This post is funny to me. My 7 yo is very mean, disrespectful and rude at home (tells us to shut up, get out of her room, says "not happening" when we want her to eat or get a bath or go to bed, and hits her father and sister) but in public or at school she is an absolute angel. So, I am sure if I complain about her bad behavior, they do not believe me or think I am a bad Mom. But, really, she will be so sweet in public and as soon as we get in the car, she pulls my seat belt hard so it chokes around my neck while laughing gleefully. WE are working on a behavior chart with her and are trying hard to spend more attention doing things with her without any interruptions or no phone and it seems to work sometimes. I feel bad for this Mom.

She is acting out at home...I suspect you know why. If she was truly mean, rude and disrespectful, she'd be that way at school, too. Don't give up on your child. Dig deep and give her what she needs.

Yeah, she acts out because she is the baby and has gotten her way and has been allowed to get whatever she wanted for years. We were the parents who set no boundaries and did whatever she wanted. We did not even allow for her to cry or sleep alone as a baby. We did this. Once school started, she came home with a lot of stuff she saw kids doing at school and we never punished her for this behavior. It has gotten way worse this past year, so we started going to family therapy. She has everything she needs plus 1,000 and is spoiled and waited on hand and foot. She never even set foot in a day care and my husband stays at home to make sure she has someone home in case she gets sick, to pick her up from school, and to help her with reading/homework or take her to sports after school.

Thanks but she is well taken care of. We just need to gently introduce boundaries, put our foot down at times and tell her no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She'll say mean things about how annoying or bratty she is to me, but also in front of the little girl. When she does things for her, she'll complain about how much they cost and that her daughter doesn't appreciate them. She's only six and seems like a really sweet kid but my girlfriend claims I don't realize how awful she is. Everything else is great. When we go out if i can get her off the topic of complaining about the girl, we have a great time.

How long have you been dating? The kid is 6, and you've met the kid. If you aren't on step-parent track, you need to talk to gf about your intentions.
If you are on step-parent track, you need to talk to gf about your plans.

[Anonymous]

This is like saying you love the restaurant except that the food is bad. The decor, the music, the waitstaff, etc. is SO nice

[Anonymous]

Your 6 year old does not deserve to have an adult in her life who openly dislikes her. You are choosing to keep this person in your child's life. That's awful.

Yes 6 year olds can be annoying, but they are CHILDREN who need to be loved and encouraged by their parents (that's you) and protected from adults who want to harm them (that's your gf).

DTMAF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your 6 year old does not deserve to have an adult in her life who openly dislikes her. You are choosing to keep this person in your child's life. That's awful.

Yes 6 year olds can be annoying, but they are CHILDREN who need to be loved and encouraged by their parents (that's you) and protected from adults who want to harm them (that's your gf). DTMAF.

Are you confused? Maybe re-read the very first post AND the title. Carefully.