Explicitly asked for money by couple that’s getting married

[Anonymous]

This is incredibly common nowadays. I’m surprised by the responses here. We usually give $250 if couple has a fund going, or pick a present that is $250-$300 off registry. This is not farfetched. In many cultures it is rude to not give cash. Anyway, who really cares since it is their wedding, not yours.

[Anonymous]

What do you think a shower is? You are the rude one here.

[Anonymous]

Better money than a gravy boat no one will ever use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

Because a registry is a list of items that the couple would happily receive. It helps give direction in terms of colors and styles. Someone might want to give towels, but has no idea what color the couple would like best. The registry helps.

And if someone doesn’t want to give a gift off of the registry, they don’t have to. If they want to give money, they’re welcome to do so. If they want to give a gift card, they can. If they want to give a handmade quilt, they’re welcome to.

The issue with this couple is that they’re making cash the ONLY gift option.

But registries also limit gift options, and often try and point you to items that cost more than you intend to spend.

I can't imagine giving anyone towels. And I would never buy anyone really really expensive towels.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bride wants to make the task of writing thank you notes easier by not having to mention specific gifts and how she and hubby plan to use them. She can say the same thing to everybody. Yes, it is tacky.

Why are you assuming the bride is writing thank you notes? My husband’s guest list was three times the size of mine. He wrote the vast majority of the thank you notes. No way in hell was I doing this for his ginormous crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's no tackier than a registry. The fact that they're older makes it more reasonable IMO - do you think they don't have plates and linens by now?

Np. It’s much tackier than a registry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is asking for money different than asking for various items on a registry?

Because a registry is a list of items that the couple would happily receive. It helps give direction in terms of colors and styles. Someone might want to give towels, but has no idea what color the couple would like best. The registry helps.

And if someone doesn’t want to give a gift off of the registry, they don’t have to. If they want to give money, they’re welcome to do so. If they want to give a gift card, they can. If they want to give a handmade quilt, they’re welcome to.

The issue with this couple is that they’re making cash the ONLY gift option.

Ok, but what exactly is the difference to you whether you are giving the couple $200 or spending $200 on towels? It’s $200 out of your pocket regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you?

This is OP. I’m in my late thirties.

They specifically ask for money for home upgrades and associated costs. Same for the shower.

I would have written a check for the couple in any case, in addition to sending a gift. I am just turned off that the request is explicit. Not everything needs to be said.

To top it off, it will be an alcohol-free wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you?

This is OP. I’m in my late thirties.

They specifically ask for money for home upgrades and associated costs. Same for the shower.

I would have written a check for the couple in any case, in addition to sending a gift. I am just turned off that the request is explicit. Not everything needs to be said.

To top it off, it will be an alcohol-free wedding.

Then it would be a me-free wedding, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the same, but I think it’s because I’m old. It’s pretty common nowadays. Distasteful to me personally, but common.

This. Some people have no manners anymore. I would always give money at a wedding, but I've never been asked directly for it. Asking for any gift at all is just tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you?

This is OP. I’m in my late thirties.

They specifically ask for money for home upgrades and associated costs. Same for the shower.

I would have written a check for the couple in any case, in addition to sending a gift. I am just turned off that the request is explicit. Not everything needs to be said.

To top it off, it will be an alcohol-free wedding.

Then it would be a me-free wedding, too.

We have one of these coming up, too, but we really need to attend. All the cousins are already planning a post-reception party at the hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you?

This is OP. I’m in my late thirties.

They specifically ask for money for home upgrades and associated costs. Same for the shower.

I would have written a check for the couple in any case, in addition to sending a gift. I am just turned off that the request is explicit. Not everything needs to be said.

To top it off, it will be an alcohol-free wedding.

Oh yeah I would not attend or if I had to, I'd give $100.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple that recently got married at city hall. Then, a few months later, they threw a low-budget backyard bbq to celebrate, and encouraged guests to donate to their down payment fund. These folks are Harvard MBAs, come from money, and make a ton of money. So gross.

[Anonymous]

The only gross thing about the rich couple who got married at City Hall is the fact that they asked for money. The City Hall marriage and the barbeque are just fine.