Private school for non fancy middle class families

[Anonymous]

+1 for Sandy Spring Friends School.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm not sure where you live or what your religious leanings are, but St. Rita's in Alexandria sounds like what you're looking for. Solid classical curriculum, down-to-earth faculty and staff, small size, and relatively inexpensive tuition. I don't know what space they have, but may be worth looking into![/quote]

Just be aware St. Rita is a very conservative Catholic school. Not for everyone.[/quote]

It’s a K-8 school and I thought OP was looking for high school. That said I love St. Rita’s!

[Anonymous]

Look at Burke. We’ve been much happier there than our country club style K-8

[Anonymous]

2-year-old thread folks

[Anonymous]

Why do people keep reviving zombie threads?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fitting in is not in top 10 of issues you need to consider, OP. Leave that aside for now. There are more serious considerations than your little feelings about fitting in and accepting charity.

I would thank the relative profusely and inquire politely whether those funds could be used for college instead.

Here's what you should be considering:

1. In private, the kids are selected at entry and compete against one another in the college process - selective universities don't want to take too many from each small private school. Despite what you may have heard, there are only a few Ivy/top college feeders and none of them are in DC. They're in NY. So your kid will be facing absolutely devastating competition from his peers at a good private school, and he'll be up against families who think nothing of paying $300/hr for tutoring and test prep, and 25K+ for a private college counselor. The connected families will line up valuable internships for their kids, will yours be able to compete? Think hard about that. Whereas in a large but reputable public, competition is meaningless. Some will go to community college, most will go to State U, a handful will go to Ivy Leagues. Your kid will have his chance.

2. If you're not interested in the best privates, then there is no reason to pay for private at all unless your child has particular needs. And sometimes not even then. My son with ADHD/ASD did well in a large public with an IEP, then a 504, and accommodations. STEM instruction is much better in good public schools. Writing is usually taught better in good privates. Guess which majors are being eliminated from certain colleges? Humanities, not STEM. AI will shortly be writing all your stuff. Not saying writing isn't important, I love good writing! But just want to put this out there.

3. What would be really interesting is if your relative could help out for college. My kid is going to a reputable program at an 85K private university, with merit aid. He will have a lot more attention and built-in networking opportunities than in the 30K State U that accepted him; the dorms and food are nicer, and overall it's a better atmosphere. College is when having choices matter. You don't want to be stuck with only in-state options because you can't afford anything else.

4. All this calculus needs tweaking if your kid's public school has issues, or you're unhappy with the breadth of AP offerings, etc. BUT -

5. Re:"boredom", poor grades, etc. Bear in mind that high school coursework is a LOT more challenging than middle school. Also note that if your 99 percentile kid doesn't have great grades and claims he's bored... that's a huge red flag for ADHD or a learning disability. An evaluation is in order. My oldest has that profile, and needs medication to stay focused. A middle schooler who doesn't have good grades won't get into any of the top privates, and won't be very successful in public high school either, OP. You need to realize this now, while you still have time to get him help before high school. As soon as he starts 9th grade, he needs top grades, the most advanced classes he can handle, extra-curriculars, etc. Competition for colleges that were mediocre in your youth is now extremely stiff, and kids needs top grades and multiple APs (or the equivalent advanced course in private school) just to vie for UMD or UVA. I know kids with a 4.2 weighted GPA and lots of advanced coursework who were rejected from UMD in-state.

I hope you're not offended by my comments, but I've seen this play out too many times. Parents don't quite understand that their kid has ADHD/LDs, pay for private then wonder why their kid isn't doing as well as they thought, then realize too late they didn't pay for what mattered, ie an evaluation and treatment, instead of private. If you can do both, great, but then remember what I said about college. Privates do not give you a boost for that. You might not care now, but I promise you will care later.

I am a STEM professor. I spent a good 80% of my day doing scientific communicating, meaning, writing, giving talks, writing grants. Writing is essential for all kinds of tasks. I do not think AI can replace writing, at least not the kind of writing that make you unique and stand out. In scientific research, what separates a technician and PI is largely due to good writing skills.

Agree, and AI is and will take a lot of STEM jobs. Just as one example, as a tech company employer, we've already been able to significantly downsize our technology team because so much of the work can be automated now. We anticipate in a few years, we will have a fraction of the number we had and the people we hire will need to have high EQ, critical analysis, creativity, and communication skills. Not to say STEM grads won't still be in demand, but those jobs will change just as much if not more because of AI. And humanities grads could be in greater demand. Of course, having both is ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at Burke. We’ve been much happier there than our country club style K-8

We're also pretty comfortable at Burke and are very far from being a country club family. Sometimes some of the obvious wealth differences are strange and maybe a bit uncomfortable for my kid, but the most part she says it's ok. That said, it can get to me at times! But my kid's happiness and education is the true priority here and Burke has been a terrific experience for her.

[Anonymous]

You'll be fine anywhere. Just talk to your kid about money and what's important. Fancy cars and homes won't get them into Harvard, taking full advantage of school and working hard will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep reviving zombie threads?

I think there are some new folks around town...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep reviving zombie threads?

I think there are some new folks around town...

And the topic is still relevant.

[Anonymous]

Just to offer another perspective, there are definitely parents who are full pay in private schools who live very modestly and could care less what your HHI might be. It varies by school community but conveying to your child what you value and being upfront about how you spend your money matters more than what their peers may be doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought my family could afford private school for our only child (now in middle school). Circumstances recently arose where a distant relative offered to help pay for private high school if my child wanted to apply next year.

There's a lot to unpack here and many questions about whether they'd even get accepted, but generally I'm curious how solidly lower middle class kids and families feel joining communities where most people will be far more wealthy. We each grew up lower class, live in a small non fancy house most people would consider a "starter home," still have Ikea furniture, drive an old car, have school teacher and artist level earnings, dress from the thrift store...

My spouse right away wanted to reject the offer, largely because they don't like accepting charity and also maybe because I think neither of us has ever felt comfortable around lots of wealth. But then I see our very smart kid who tests 99 percentile not get great grades or be inspired by our mediocre public school because it's "too easy" and wonder if we should consider the offer.

Anyone have experience?

No matter what you decide someone offering to pay tuition for your child, who finds current school too easy, is not charity. It's a thoughtful and generous offer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought my family could afford private school for our only child (now in middle school). Circumstances recently arose where a distant relative offered to help pay for private high school if my child wanted to apply next year.

There's a lot to unpack here and many questions about whether they'd even get accepted, but generally I'm curious how solidly lower middle class kids and families feel joining communities where most people will be far more wealthy. We each grew up lower class, live in a small non fancy house most people would consider a "starter home," still have Ikea furniture, drive an old car, have school teacher and artist level earnings, dress from the thrift store...

My spouse right away wanted to reject the offer, largely because they don't like accepting charity and also maybe because I think neither of us has ever felt comfortable around lots of wealth. But then I see our very smart kid who tests 99 percentile not get great grades or be inspired by our mediocre public school because it's "too easy" and wonder if we should consider the offer.

Anyone have experience?

Do you have a son? Have you looked at St. Anselm's Abbey?

[Anonymous]

Where are you geographically? SSFS definitely could be a fit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought my family could afford private school for our only child (now in middle school). Circumstances recently arose where a distant relative offered to help pay for private high school if my child wanted to apply next year.

There's a lot to unpack here and many questions about whether they'd even get accepted, but generally I'm curious how solidly lower middle class kids and families feel joining communities where most people will be far more wealthy. We each grew up lower class, live in a small non fancy house most people would consider a "starter home," still have Ikea furniture, drive an old car, have school teacher and artist level earnings, dress from the thrift store...

My spouse right away wanted to reject the offer, largely because they don't like accepting charity and also maybe because I think neither of us has ever felt comfortable around lots of wealth. But then I see our very smart kid who tests 99 percentile not get great grades or be inspired by our mediocre public school because it's "too easy" and wonder if we should consider the offer.

Anyone have experience?

Do you have a son? Have you looked at St. Anselm's Abbey?

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