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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fitting in is not in top 10 of issues you need to consider, OP. Leave that aside for now. There are more serious considerations than your little feelings about fitting in and accepting charity.

I would thank the relative profusely and inquire politely whether those funds could be used for college instead.

Here's what you should be considering:

1. In private, the kids are selected at entry and compete against one another in the college process - selective universities don't want to take too many from each small private school. Despite what you may have heard, there are only a few Ivy/top college feeders and none of them are in DC. They're in NY. So your kid will be facing absolutely devastating competition from his peers at a good private school, and he'll be up against families who think nothing of paying $300/hr for tutoring and test prep, and 25K+ for a private college counselor. The connected families will line up valuable internships for their kids, will yours be able to compete? Think hard about that. Whereas in a large but reputable public, competition is meaningless. Some will go to community college, most will go to State U, a handful will go to Ivy Leagues. Your kid will have his chance.

2. If you're not interested in the best privates, then there is no reason to pay for private at all unless your child has particular needs. And sometimes not even then. My son with ADHD/ASD did well in a large public with an IEP, then a 504, and accommodations. STEM instruction is much better in good public schools. Writing is usually taught better in good privates. Guess which majors are being eliminated from certain colleges? Humanities, not STEM. AI will shortly be writing all your stuff. Not saying writing isn't important, I love good writing! But just want to put this out there.

3. What would be really interesting is if your relative could help out for college. My kid is going to a reputable program at an 85K private university, with merit aid. He will have a lot more attention and built-in networking opportunities than in the 30K State U that accepted him; the dorms and food are nicer, and overall it's a better atmosphere. College is when having choices matter. You don't want to be stuck with only in-state options because you can't afford anything else.

4. All this calculus needs tweaking if your kid's public school has issues, or you're unhappy with the breadth of AP offerings, etc. BUT -

5. Re:"boredom", poor grades, etc. Bear in mind that high school coursework is a LOT more challenging than middle school. Also note that if your 99 percentile kid doesn't have great grades and claims he's bored... that's a huge red flag for ADHD or a learning disability. An evaluation is in order. My oldest has that profile, and needs medication to stay focused. A middle schooler who doesn't have good grades won't get into any of the top privates, and won't be very successful in public high school either, OP. You need to realize this now, while you still have time to get him help before high school. As soon as he starts 9th grade, he needs top grades, the most advanced classes he can handle, extra-curriculars, etc. Competition for colleges that were mediocre in your youth is now extremely stiff, and kids needs top grades and multiple APs (or the equivalent advanced course in private school) just to vie for UMD or UVA. I know kids with a 4.2 weighted GPA and lots of advanced coursework who were rejected from UMD in-state.

I hope you're not offended by my comments, but I've seen this play out too many times. Parents don't quite understand that their kid has ADHD/LDs, pay for private then wonder why their kid isn't doing as well as they thought, then realize too late they didn't pay for what mattered, ie an evaluation and treatment, instead of private. If you can do both, great, but then remember what I said about college. Privates do not give you a boost for that. You might not care now, but I promise you will care later.
[/quote]

I am a STEM professor. I spent a good 80% of my day doing scientific communicating, meaning, writing, giving talks, writing grants. Writing is essential for all kinds of tasks. I do not think AI can replace writing, at least not the kind of writing that make you unique and stand out. In scientific research, what separates a technician and PI is largely due to good writing skills. [/quote]

Agree, and AI is and will take a lot of STEM jobs. Just as one example, as a tech company employer, we've already been able to significantly downsize our technology team because so much of the work can be automated now. We anticipate in a few years, we will have a fraction of the number we had and the people we hire will need to have high EQ, critical analysis, creativity, and communication skills. Not to say STEM grads won't still be in demand, but those jobs will change just as much if not more because of AI. And humanities grads could be in greater demand. Of course, having both is ideal. [/quote]

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