Tell me how grim it is to date as a childless late thirties woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would think it’s easier, less complicated and less expensive than dating in your late 30s *with* kids.

If you want kids and are willing to be a single parent, freeze your eggs or freeze embryos with a donor (or do both) as a backup plan.

Try to be positive OP. Having children in a bad marriage does not do anybody any favors.

Please carefully review success statistics (i.e. women who go on to have a live birth with a frozen unfertilized egg that was harvested at your age) before wasting your money on this.

The better call statistically is to freeze embryos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 question is — what is your BMI? If > 25.1, then work to lower it. Really.

#2 question is — all of the following — Do you have a cat - or more than one cat? Do you have a condo? Do you have significant student debt? Do you have an STI? Do you think of yourself as type A? Do you have an inflexible list of income or political or age or height or other requirements for your potential partner?

This. Be informed and care. But zealotry…

Not these days unfortunately. You don’t want to have children— and OP clearly wants children— with someone who thinks it’s cool for you to be denied medical care if you miscarry or similar. This stuff is very real right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that after a devastating divorce you’d want to pursue dating right away.

I also find it odd if you’re a woman who has been married and you would actually marry again.

I wanted to get married in my 20s. I’m now happily married but the allure of marriage has faded. I do not think it’s appealing and it makes me sad how many women in their 20s and 30s want to get married!

What a strange thing to make you sad. You sound like a freak of nature.

OMG, a woman who does not want to get married in the first third of her life is a "freak of nature?"

Would you say that about a man?

What century are you from???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I have plenty of single male friends in this age bracket. Like another poster said, look good (watch your weight), and I'd add don't be high maintenance, and you'll have no issues finding a man if that's what you want. Men don't have this long list of traits they need in a woman, nor are they ready to reject if one item on the list isn't met.

Except...weight, right? Because first you're wagging your finger instructing women to "watch your weight" then you're saying men are NOT "ready to reject if one item on the list isn't met." But we're told incessantly on DCUM that weight weight weight is the key, even more than some undefined overall "hotness." Hotness IS weight, apparently. So, which is it, PP? Watch your weight, or, men won't be ready to reject you if you're not some ideal weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that after a devastating divorce you’d want to pursue dating right away.

I also find it odd if you’re a woman who has been married and you would actually marry again.

I wanted to get married in my 20s. I’m now happily married but the allure of marriage has faded. I do not think it’s appealing and it makes me sad how many women in their 20s and 30s want to get married!

What a strange thing to make you sad. You sound like a freak of nature.

OMG, a woman who does not want to get married in the first third of her life is a "freak of nature?"

Would you say that about a man?

What century are you from???

Yes, you are a freak of nature to be sad about that normal choice (to get married her 30s!) made by another women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I have plenty of single male friends in this age bracket. Like another poster said, look good (watch your weight), and I'd add don't be high maintenance, and you'll have no issues finding a man if that's what you want. Men don't have this long list of traits they need in a woman, nor are they ready to reject if one item on the list isn't met.

Except...weight, right? Because first you're wagging your finger instructing women to "watch your weight" then you're saying men are NOT "ready to reject if one item on the list isn't met." But we're told incessantly on DCUM that weight weight weight is the key, even more than some undefined overall "hotness." Hotness IS weight, apparently. So, which is it, PP? Watch your weight, or, men won't be ready to reject you if you're not some ideal weight?

I would definitely reject anyone overweight when I was single. We all have dealbreakers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Devastating divorce. Heart broken.

It is easy! If you had said that you had never been a relationship before, then I would say it is hard. But you're childless and have relationship experience? All systems go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 question is — what is your BMI? If > 25.1, then work to lower it. Really.

#2 question is — all of the following — Do you have a cat - or more than one cat? Do you have a condo? Do you have significant student debt? Do you have an STI? Do you think of yourself as type A? Do you have an inflexible list of income or political or age or height or other requirements for your potential partner?

This. Be informed and care. But zealotry…

I would rather be single forever than date a short Republican. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 question is — what is your BMI? If > 25.1, then work to lower it. Really.

#2 question is — all of the following — Do you have a cat - or more than one cat? Do you have a condo? Do you have significant student debt? Do you have an STI? Do you think of yourself as type A? Do you have an inflexible list of income or political or age or height or other requirements for your potential partner?

This. Be informed and care. But zealotry…

Not these days unfortunately. You don’t want to have children— and OP clearly wants children— with someone who thinks it’s cool for you to be denied medical care if you miscarry or similar. This stuff is very real right now.

+1

PP is right. This is not some abstract thing to put off thinking about. My relative is starting to use dating apps (after being widowed several years ago) and is finding that many of the men there who are indicating they are interested in a serious relationship (in other words, leading possibly to kids eventually) also hold some very right-leaning beliefs about women's autonomy. You have to exercise a lot of caution, OP. My relative even has things on her profile clearly indicating her politics and positions and still gets a LOT of interest from men she's pretty sure would oppose everything she thinks. Men just spew out interest on apps, trying to land women to date them and really to get into bed with them, period. Be careful.

[Anonymous]

I have very fond memories — but the stress and heat and emotional spectacle of it all makes it only a top 10 day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I have plenty of single male friends in this age bracket. Like another poster said, look good (watch your weight), and I'd add don't be high maintenance, and you'll have no issues finding a man if that's what you want. Men don't have this long list of traits they need in a woman, nor are they ready to reject if one item on the list isn't met.

Except...weight, right? Because first you're wagging your finger instructing women to "watch your weight" then you're saying men are NOT "ready to reject if one item on the list isn't met." But we're told incessantly on DCUM that weight weight weight is the key, even more than some undefined overall "hotness." Hotness IS weight, apparently. So, which is it, PP? Watch your weight, or, men won't be ready to reject you if you're not some ideal weight?

Some women can put on weight in a flattering way, most can’t. I’m a guy and I like prefer women in the middle of the spectrum, I’m not as in to super skinny/athletic body types but I also don’t want to be with a blob either. The hottest women I’ve slept with were maybe 20-30 pounds overweight but they were genetically blessed that the weight went to the right places. The women who struggle are 50+ pounds overweight or got really unlucky with where their fat ends up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 question is — what is your BMI? If > 25.1, then work to lower it. Really.

#2 question is — all of the following — Do you have a cat - or more than one cat? Do you have a condo? Do you have significant student debt? Do you have an STI? Do you think of yourself as type A? Do you have an inflexible list of income or political or age or height or other requirements for your potential partner?

This. Be informed and care. But zealotry…

Not these days unfortunately. You don’t want to have children— and OP clearly wants children— with someone who thinks it’s cool for you to be denied medical care if you miscarry or similar. This stuff is very real right now.

+1

PP is right. This is not some abstract thing to put off thinking about. My relative is starting to use dating apps (after being widowed several years ago) and is finding that many of the men there who are indicating they are interested in a serious relationship (in other words, leading possibly to kids eventually) also hold some very right-leaning beliefs about women's autonomy. You have to exercise a lot of caution, OP. My relative even has things on her profile clearly indicating her politics and positions and still gets a LOT of interest from men she's pretty sure would oppose everything she thinks. Men just spew out interest on apps, trying to land women to date them and really to get into bed with them, period. Be careful.

Most conservative men are suddenly pro-choice when it's a woman they're dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 question is — what is your BMI? If > 25.1, then work to lower it. Really.

#2 question is — all of the following — Do you have a cat - or more than one cat? Do you have a condo? Do you have significant student debt? Do you have an STI? Do you think of yourself as type A? Do you have an inflexible list of income or political or age or height or other requirements for your potential partner?

This. Be informed and care. But zealotry…

Not these days unfortunately. You don’t want to have children— and OP clearly wants children— with someone who thinks it’s cool for you to be denied medical care if you miscarry or similar. This stuff is very real right now.

+1

PP is right. This is not some abstract thing to put off thinking about. My relative is starting to use dating apps (after being widowed several years ago) and is finding that many of the men there who are indicating they are interested in a serious relationship (in other words, leading possibly to kids eventually) also hold some very right-leaning beliefs about women's autonomy. You have to exercise a lot of caution, OP. My relative even has things on her profile clearly indicating her politics and positions and still gets a LOT of interest from men she's pretty sure would oppose everything she thinks. Men just spew out interest on apps, trying to land women to date them and really to get into bed with them, period. Be careful.

Most conservative men are suddenly pro-choice when it's a woman they're dating.

I mean except the ones who use the pregnancy to terrorize their partner, or trap them, or sue their friends like in Texas.

It’s not great that the best that can be hoped of a conservative partner is that he’s a hypocrite on levels approaching sociopathic.