Tell me how grim it is to date as a childless late thirties woman?

[Anonymous]

Devastating divorce. Heart broken.

[Anonymous]

Depends on your weight, number of kids you have (if any) & their ages, your financial prospects and how good or bad your coparenting relationship is with ex-H. All of that will affect your dating life.

[Anonymous]

Much easier than with kids. I would think it would be easy in comparison.

[Anonymous]

My husband passed when I was in my late thirties. Other than my emotional baggage, dating was really easy. There were lots of smart, good-looking, cool guys who were interested. More than in my twenties for sure. It helps a lot to not have kids.

[Anonymous]

Childless? Easy!! Unless you’re out of shape. Just work out if so. You’ll feel better either way.

[Anonymous]

If she is “childfree “ then you hit the jackpot!

[Anonymous]

So you want kids?

Are you open to dating across genders? Across marital statuses? Wide age range?

[Anonymous]

Anecdata: my best friend met her now-husband at 38, married at 40, twins at 42 via IVF. She had never been married before, no kids, was in great shape and was successful professionally.

[Anonymous]

I have a few friends dating in this age range- 2 didn’t have and didn’t want kids, and 1 had a kid from a previous relationship.

One woman recently got engaged to her boyfriend of about 3years. He’s about 8 years older. Divorced no kids, neither of them want kids. He works at an auto body shop, so more blue collar than a lot of people in this area want.

One woman dates around but has never really pursued a serious relationship and doesn’t want kids. She won’t date a blue collar guy or a non-white guy and tends to attract guys who are kind of weird. But she does well for herself financially and has a big friend group.

My friend with a kid got married to an older guy - I think about 12 years older after dating for 2 years. He has 2 mostly grown children, they have no kids together, don’t want any more kids, and he’s a very involved stepdad to her son who is still pretty young.

[Anonymous]

I suggest therapy.

Your question was worded in a way that makes me think you feel desperate and undesirable.

Work on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest therapy.

Your question was worded in a way that makes me think you feel desperate and undesirable.

Work on you.

+1

[Anonymous]

If you just got divorced, I wouldn’t recommend dating right away.

[Anonymous]

Are you hot? That's the only thing men care about. Almost anything else can be handwaved away. Age, number of kids, job, education level -- NONE of that matters if you are hot.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s grim. Take care of yourself and don’t panic

[Anonymous]

Among my friends, the most content and carefree seem to be the ones who met their spouse after 40 and never had kids. One is a stepmom to adult children (but never when they were younger/in the home); the other two married men who didn’t have kids. They have money, time, freedom to travel and good sex. I think, given your recent heartbreaking divorce, you should not rush to date. Men will be there when you are ready. I say this as someone who felt the pressure to settle down in my late 30s and have kids. I understand now that if I had waited to early 40s I would have been more than fine—maybe happier—than trying to rush marriage and family.