Ex suddenly wants to get child passport, but there are no plans for international travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think he just wants to take him to see his GF. No evil plans. But of course you know him better.

FFS, pay better attention, PP. Either that. or if you're supposedly being "funny," stop.

If he "just wants to take him to see his GF," the ex can tell OP that.

Instead the ex has clearly told OP that he believes he will have to flee the U.S. for political asylum. Did you just miss that part entirely, PP, or did you blithely choose to ignore it?

Omg he never said that! He has vague ideas that the govt is out to get him which is bad but doesn’t nearly equate to what you claim

You are wrong because you apparently missed the following post from the OP, where she does indeed say what I told you above. Please read whole threads before chiming in that others are wrong. Here's her post:

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think he just wants to take him to see his GF. No evil plans. But of course you know him better.

I think this is the most likely scenario but not by such an extent OP should take ANY chances with her kid’s safety. OP’s ex sounds off his rocker and given that he hasn’t said the above OP is right to be concerned. Get him on the list other PP suggested and get him a passport that you keep. PP who listed the ways the ex might try to gain access to the passport during the application process is appropriately paranoid; take their suggestions into account.

[Anonymous]

OP - even without the passport issue, I would be alarmed by his paranoia and seek to have his custody revised. Serious mental health red flags here.

[Anonymous]

Once kid has a passport there is really no controlling what ex does with them. I would be worried about his mental health bc of the wacky things he is saying, before agreeing to a passport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think he just wants to take him to see his GF. No evil plans. But of course you know him better.

I think this is the most likely scenario but not by such an extent OP should take ANY chances with her kid’s safety. OP’s ex sounds off his rocker and given that he hasn’t said the above OP is right to be concerned. Get him on the list other PP suggested and get him a passport that you keep. PP who listed the ways the ex might try to gain access to the passport during the application process is appropriately paranoid; take their suggestions into account.

OP again. He's actually never even proposed taking child to meet gf. Honestly, if he had said, "I'd like to take child to visit Canada" and had NOT said alllllllll of the other stuff about being targeted by the government and needing to flee, then I'd be fine. But that's not what has happened at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think he just wants to take him to see his GF. No evil plans. But of course you know him better.

I think this is the most likely scenario but not by such an extent OP should take ANY chances with her kid’s safety. OP’s ex sounds off his rocker and given that he hasn’t said the above OP is right to be concerned. Get him on the list other PP suggested and get him a passport that you keep. PP who listed the ways the ex might try to gain access to the passport during the application process is appropriately paranoid; take their suggestions into account.

OP again. He's actually never even proposed taking child to meet gf. Honestly, if he had said, "I'd like to take child to visit Canada" and had NOT said alllllllll of the other stuff about being targeted by the government and needing to flee, then I'd be fine. But that's not what has happened at all.

Another DP from earlier. OP, the more I read of your posts, the more I worry about your DH. From all I've read on DCUM plus in other places, it seems to be extremely tough to prove a parent is mentally ill (enough to sway a court into changing custody etc.) without firm diagnoses and lots of other proof, documented episodes of danger to the child, etc. You might need to think beyond the passport issue and start seeing what forms of evidence you'd need to have if you ever want to change custody because he's gone farther down the rabbit hole. I would think that statements about "fleeing the country" would set off alarms with authorities BUT if only you have heard him say this stuff--it will be too tough to prove he's a risk to your child. Maybe consult with an attorney who has dealt with custody in cases where one parent was mentally ill, if you can locate one that specific.

Meanwhile, I'd register your child in that State Dept. database, the one someone linked earlier, ASAP. Today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

Get him to put this in text messages and emails, and it counts. Document it, because that’s textbook paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Start here, OP, in case he does fake notarized paperwork.

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

This one.

Also, neither of you can take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form from the other spouse anyway.

I always hate to quibble with this because it should be true and it's good advice, but I traveled with both my kids internationally from the time they were infants and I have never once been asked for that piece of paper even when I had it. I would not rely on this as a method to stop travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

NP. I would certainly try to make it count. He sounds delusional. Like clinically delusional. Someone posted about this extensively awhile back. Maybe search for delusion or delusional.

[Anonymous]

Easy solution Get the passport and you hold on to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

No they don't, you can get a notarized form if one parent can't be there.

Oh eff, my ex is a notary. Can he fake a notarized form?

Maybe. But if the kid has never had a passport you need a good bit of documentation, like their birth certificate. The notarized statement also has to have a copy of YOUR photo ID and and an explanation of why you can't appear.

So you not appearing is allowed if certain conditions are met but it's not preferred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start here, OP, in case he does fake notarized paperwork.

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html

DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

Right now. Don't wait or think about it, just do it.

[Anonymous]

Troll. Your ex just so happens to be a notary? What a coincidence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

This one.

Also, neither of you can take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form from the other spouse anyway.

Well that’s not true. I’ve never been stopped at the airport. They let us keep going.