Ex suddenly wants to get child passport, but there are no plans for international travel

[Anonymous]

My ex is newly very interested in getting our child (shared custody) a passport, despite there being no plans in the foreseeable future of international travel.

This, coupled with some increasingly alarming things coming from my ex reflecting paranoia about the government, lead me to be very opposed to getting my child a passport.

I think my ex can't get a passport for my child without my presence and consent. However, it doesn't stop him from being verbally abusive while bothering me about it. The abuse stems from him believing that the government is going to get him and our child, and that I am some sort of dupe to not recognize it.

(Note: My ex is not some sort of security professional.)

I'm not entirely certain what I can do here, aside from suggest therapy (which he's in), and refuse to get the passport. Is there some other legal step I should take? There's presently no reason to call in the authorities or anything.

[Anonymous]

He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

[Anonymous]

Does he have ties with any other country besides the US? Does your child have another citizenship?
If no and no, it’s relatively safe even if he gets the passport (which he cannot get without your notarized agreement anyway).
However you still don’t have to agree, and there is a passport stop list you can put your kid on, but I don’t know the requirements for that.

[Anonymous]

I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have ties with any other country besides the US? Does your child have another citizenship?
If no and no, it’s relatively safe even if he gets the passport (which he cannot get without your notarized agreement anyway).
However you still don’t have to agree, and there is a passport stop list you can put your kid on, but I don’t know the requirements for that.

OP here. It's no and no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

This one.

Also, neither of you can take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form from the other spouse anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex is newly very interested in getting our child (shared custody) a passport, despite there being no plans in the foreseeable future of international travel.

This, coupled with some increasingly alarming things coming from my ex reflecting paranoia about the government, lead me to be very opposed to getting my child a passport.

I think my ex can't get a passport for my child without my presence and consent. However, it doesn't stop him from being verbally abusive while bothering me about it. The abuse stems from him believing that the government is going to get him and our child, and that I am some sort of dupe to not recognize it.

Is he mentally ill? Delusions like those seem to be fairly classic signs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t YOU get the passport and keep it in your possession?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

This one.

Also, neither of you can take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form from the other spouse anyway.

Does it depend on the age of the child? I left the country twice in the last year with my 12 year old and customs did not ask to review the notarized consent, although I had one on hand. We have different last names and were traveling together alone. I was slightly annoyed as I felt like they weren't doing their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

This sounds pretty extreme OP. Has he always been like this or is it new?

If my X started talking like this and had our kids 1/2 the time I’d be writing it down and calling my lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

This one.

Also, neither of you can take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form from the other spouse anyway.

Technically you can't take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form but I have done so multiple times and they have never checked. I think you get flagged more if the child doesn't look like the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

OP, please, don't brush this off just because he doesn't have citizenship or ties in another country.

He sounds mentally ill and it's the kind of illness that could lead to his trying to take your child--if not internationally, then possibly within the U.S. I realize you're saying, he's only used words and those aren't exactly actionable in court. But please document what he says, when he says it, every detail, and right now, today, contact your attorney and say you are concerned. Keep close tabs on this. It's the kind of talk that can turn on a dime and escalate into many things, from ranting in front of your frightened child, to having strange interactions with your child's teachers or other adults, to pulling your child out of activities "because it's secretly a front for the evil government!" to kidnapping.

Ask me how I know. A family friend's ex-DH went as far as trying to pull a kid out of activities (baseball, FFS!) and railing at teachers at school. Fortunately for the mom and their son, the ex ended up going off the rails at work, threatening coworkers and getting fired, then moving far away, thank God, to get "off the grid." But it all started with talk just like your DH -- "The government wants to harm me, personally, and indoctrinate our child" talk.

[Anonymous]

OP he can’t get a passport without your consent.

I used to be worried about this but now that DC is older I’m less worried.