Ex suddenly wants to get child passport, but there are no plans for international travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

This sounds pretty extreme OP. Has he always been like this or is it new?

If my X started talking like this and had our kids 1/2 the time I’d be writing it down and calling my lawyer.

It's new, and post-divorce a few years ago. I think his daily pot-smoking is making him increasingly paranoid. I also don't think there's anything I can do (in terms of custody) until something bad happens. For this situation the only thing I can do is NOT get the passport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He cannot get a passport without your consent. Document all this unhinged behavior so if he goes to court to try to compel your consent (possible) you have a clear argument against it.

OP again.

The unhinged behavior is just stuff he says. There's no action. So does that count in court? He says he will be killed by the government, and needs to flee to another country for political asylum.

OP, please, don't brush this off just because he doesn't have citizenship or ties in another country.

He sounds mentally ill and it's the kind of illness that could lead to his trying to take your child--if not internationally, then possibly within the U.S. I realize you're saying, he's only used words and those aren't exactly actionable in court. But please document what he says, when he says it, every detail, and right now, today, contact your attorney and say you are concerned. Keep close tabs on this. It's the kind of talk that can turn on a dime and escalate into many things, from ranting in front of your frightened child, to having strange interactions with your child's teachers or other adults, to pulling your child out of activities "because it's secretly a front for the evil government!" to kidnapping.

Ask me how I know. A family friend's ex-DH went as far as trying to pull a kid out of activities (baseball, FFS!) and railing at teachers at school. Fortunately for the mom and their son, the ex ended up going off the rails at work, threatening coworkers and getting fired, then moving far away, thank God, to get "off the grid." But it all started with talk just like your DH -- "The government wants to harm me, personally, and indoctrinate our child" talk.

Thanks, will collect evidence and contact lawyer.

I would have liked to maintain a good relationship with him for our child's sake.

I really hate that there's nothing I can do here beyond document.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

No they don't, you can get a notarized form if one parent can't be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t YOU get the passport and keep it in your possession?

She'd have to either take the ex with her to GET the passport or have him sign a notarized form allowing her to get it. If he's a paranoid nutcase, he's not exactly going to allow it to get mailed to her home address, now is he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

No they don't, you can get a notarized form if one parent can't be there.

Oh eff, my ex is a notary. Can he fake a notarized form?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

This one.

Also, neither of you can take the child out of the country without a notarized consent form from the other spouse anyway.

I wouldn't rely on this. Both DH and I have traveled with DC individually out of the country and NEVER been asked for any sort of proof that we had the other's permission.

Agree that it's reasonable for a child to have a passport if you want one. You can be the one to keep it. If not, just don't agree to get it. Both parents have to be present at the time of the application for a minor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have ties with any other country besides the US? Does your child have another citizenship?
If no and no, it’s relatively safe even if he gets the passport (which he cannot get without your notarized agreement anyway).
However you still don’t have to agree, and there is a passport stop list you can put your kid on, but I don’t know the requirements for that.

No, it's NOT relatively safe given there are plenty of countries who are not signatories to the Hague Abduction Convention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

No they don't, you can get a notarized form if one parent can't be there.

Oh eff, my ex is a notary. Can he fake a notarized form?

It's not that hard to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get the passport myself and keep it at MY house under lock and key. You may want to travel internationally with your child at some point! So tell him his request is reasonable, but that you're taking care of it yourself.

Me again. I've traveled alone with my kids internationally, and even though they have a different last name, no one ever asked for a letter from my spouse. If he get his hands on his child's passport, they can absolutely leave the country without your say-so. So if you get the passport, keep it safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

No they don't, you can get a notarized form if one parent can't be there.

Oh eff, my ex is a notary. Can he fake a notarized form?

It's not that hard to do so.

I'm going to throw up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have ties with any other country besides the US? Does your child have another citizenship?
If no and no, it’s relatively safe even if he gets the passport (which he cannot get without your notarized agreement anyway).
However you still don’t have to agree, and there is a passport stop list you can put your kid on, but I don’t know the requirements for that.

OP here. It's no and no.

PP who asked. I think you are pretty safe. I don’t see your ex taking your child to a country where your child could get stuck. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

This is one of those situations where you need to call your lawyer today! And find out information about this. I think there is a list you can put your child on so he can't get a passport but I don't know because I'm not actually a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes both parents have to be present to apply for a child’s passport o

No they don't, you can get a notarized form if one parent can't be there.

Oh eff, my ex is a notary. Can he fake a notarized form?

It's form DS-3053. It requires your legal full name and address, and the notarization.
BUT IT'S NOT LEGAL TO ACT AS YOUR OWN NOTARY. Will it get caught, or can he ask a notary friend? I mean, we're going down the rabbit hole, here.

[Anonymous]

You need to enrolll in this program right away:
https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/prevention/passport-issuance-alert-program.html

They will alert you if a passport is issued or applied for in your child's name.

Yes, you technicall need both parents to get a child passport (for child abductino reasons), but notarized documents can be forged.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child? If DC is older, make sure they tell you if Dad takes them to apply for a passport since the child has to show up in person.