Why do people think you have to spend so much on your kids?

[Anonymous]

This just screams of troll people.

[Anonymous]

What do you do with all of that HHI? What’s the point if you aren’t using it for your kids’ enrichment and future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids, we live in a 3 br townhouse in an exurb that has a 1400/mo mortgage, we send them to public school and we only save $2000 per year per kid for their college while having a 400k HHI. Rec soccer, cheap city summer camps. I don’t believe that you are morally obligated to financially strain yourself just to give your kids what society thinks is the ideal life. Our kids are very happy and don’t feel like they’re deprived from what I can tell.

We live in a close-in neighborhood in an excellent school district. Our house has more than doubled in value since we bought, much more than we could have saved. You don’t sound financially savvy.

so you leveraged yourself heavily and got lucky speculating on real estate, maybe indirectly if that wasn’t the main reason you bought, but I wouldn’t call buying a huge/expensive house on credit without lots of savings to back it up a good financial move. You gambled and it worked out, but it’s likely not reproducible in the current environment and if you advise a young person to do that today it would be considered a very risky choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids, we live in a 3 br townhouse in an exurb that has a 1400/mo mortgage, we send them to public school and we only save $2000 per year per kid for their college while having a 400k HHI. Rec soccer, cheap city summer camps. I don’t believe that you are morally obligated to financially strain yourself just to give your kids what society thinks is the ideal life. Our kids are very happy and don’t feel like they’re deprived from what I can tell.

We live in a close-in neighborhood in an excellent school district. Our house has more than doubled in value since we bought, much more than we could have saved. You don’t sound financially savvy.

so you leveraged yourself heavily and got lucky speculating on real estate, maybe indirectly if that wasn’t the main reason you bought, but I wouldn’t call buying a huge/expensive house on credit without lots of savings to back it up a good financial move. You gambled and it worked out, but it’s likely not reproducible in the current environment and if you advise a young person to do that today it would be considered a very risky choice.

Real estate in a job center like around here is generally a very good investment. No speculation needed.

[Anonymous]

You went to school in the financial crisis? So you are young 30s? Your kids must be young. It's easy to talk when kids are young.

[Anonymous]

You will not get financial aid on that HHI.

In-state cost of attendance is 30K a year at UMD and UVA (some programs like engineering might cost more).

The small liberal arts colleges we looked at cost around 77-80K a year.

The university my son chose to attend this fall is 85K a year. He received significant merit aid due to sky-high gpa and test scores, but it's still more than double the cost of in-state. Since we can afford it, we allowed him to not attend his state U.

OP, it doesn't stop there. To get the good grades and high test scores, some families need to pay for tutoring. Those shiny extra-curriculars on the college admission applications aren't free. The ones most likely to garner interest are regional or national-level competitive activities, so then you get into paying for private coaches and training to be able to participate at those high levels. Sometimes kids need to start very young to be on the track to achieve X by high school.

So if you decide not to do all that, then you need to ask yourself: "is college what I want for my kids, and how am I going to afford it?". Because it is now IMPOSSIBLE to work your way into college, and with a 400HHI, you will be laughed out of financial aid.

Either your children are exceptionally academic and have a 4.8 weighted GPA, 15 AP courses, 5s on every AP exam, and perfect SATs without costing you a dime (rare, but it happens). And then you get aid that makes middle of the road colleges affordable.

Or you send your kids to community college and have them transfer to State U and pay less.

Or you abandon college altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids don’t want to do rec soccer. They want to dance, do gymnastics, ride horses, take piano lessons, and play volleyball. They don’t want to go to cheap summer camp - they want to go to performing arts camps and travel camps, and tennis camps, etc.

I’m glad that your children are happy. My children have different interests. More expensive interests.

Lol, have you ever tried telling your kids no? I'm sure they're peaches in public.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, what are you scrimping and saving for? If you work a job that you do not enjoy and are aiming for early retirement, I’d say your approach, while cheap and self righteous, makes more sense. But it sounds like you want to the richest man in the cemetery. You’ll eventually be passing that money to your children anyways, maybe at a time they’ll need it less…who knows what the future holds.

[Anonymous]

This is your choice. I want my kids to play tennis and ski and learn a language as well as see the world while little with me.
Life is short, i want them to enjoy it with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids don’t want to do rec soccer. They want to dance, do gymnastics, ride horses, take piano lessons, and play volleyball. They don’t want to go to cheap summer camp - they want to go to performing arts camps and travel camps, and tennis camps, etc.

I’m glad that your children are happy. My children have different interests. More expensive interests.

Lol, have you ever tried telling your kids no? I'm sure they're peaches in public.

So, if your kids show talent or interests, you would force them to play rec soccer and not explore what they enjoy? You sound like a peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, what are you scrimping and saving for? If you work a job that you do not enjoy and are aiming for early retirement, I’d say your approach, while cheap and self righteous, makes more sense. But it sounds like you want to the richest man in the cemetery. You’ll eventually be passing that money to your children anyways, maybe at a time they’ll need it less…who knows what the future holds.

They need the money to pay for their nursing home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, what are you scrimping and saving for? If you work a job that you do not enjoy and are aiming for early retirement, I’d say your approach, while cheap and self righteous, makes more sense. But it sounds like you want to the richest man in the cemetery. You’ll eventually be passing that money to your children anyways, maybe at a time they’ll need it less…who knows what the future holds.

I want to have enough to stop working in my 40’s, I may choose to still work once I hit that number and if so will probably increase the amount I spend on my kids, by that time they will be hitting adulthood just in time for college/car/future weddings/etc. It really depends, ideally I’ll be able to still have a good paying career that isn’t too stressful or demanding but I don’t want to bank on it, so I want to front load my investments as much as possible. I might get to the point where I can’t stand working any longer and I don’t want that to happen when I’m 15 years from being able to retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, what are you scrimping and saving for? If you work a job that you do not enjoy and are aiming for early retirement, I’d say your approach, while cheap and self righteous, makes more sense. But it sounds like you want to the richest man in the cemetery. You’ll eventually be passing that money to your children anyways, maybe at a time they’ll need it less…who knows what the future holds.

I want to have enough to stop working in my 40’s, I may choose to still work once I hit that number and if so will probably increase the amount I spend on my kids, by that time they will be hitting adulthood just in time for college/car/future weddings/etc. It really depends, ideally I’ll be able to still have a good paying career that isn’t too stressful or demanding but I don’t want to bank on it, so I want to front load my investments as much as possible. I might get to the point where I can’t stand working any longer and I don’t want that to happen when I’m 15 years from being able to retire.

You shouldn’t have had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, what are you scrimping and saving for? If you work a job that you do not enjoy and are aiming for early retirement, I’d say your approach, while cheap and self righteous, makes more sense. But it sounds like you want to the richest man in the cemetery. You’ll eventually be passing that money to your children anyways, maybe at a time they’ll need it less…who knows what the future holds.

I want to have enough to stop working in my 40’s, I may choose to still work once I hit that number and if so will probably increase the amount I spend on my kids, by that time they will be hitting adulthood just in time for college/car/future weddings/etc. It really depends, ideally I’ll be able to still have a good paying career that isn’t too stressful or demanding but I don’t want to bank on it, so I want to front load my investments as much as possible. I might get to the point where I can’t stand working any longer and I don’t want that to happen when I’m 15 years from being able to retire.

You shouldn’t have had kids.

They’d doing fine, it’s all relative. I come from a background where many don’t have enough to save for their kids college at all and have to rent an apartment instead. Compared to the majority of America and the world they’re spoiled. We don’t drink or use drugs, my wife and I are married with a great relationship, we promote healthy active lifestyles for our kids and a good work ethic, we have a great community. I don’t lose any sleep.

Most of the hand wringing on these forums about being able to provide the perfect upbringing with private school, big houses, fancy ECs is unnecessary. It’s all icing on the cake lifestyle fluff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids, we live in a 3 br townhouse in an exurb that has a 1400/mo mortgage, we send them to public school and we only save $2000 per year per kid for their college while having a 400k HHI. Rec soccer, cheap city summer camps. I don’t believe that you are morally obligated to financially strain yourself just to give your kids what society thinks is the ideal life. Our kids are very happy and don’t feel like they’re deprived from what I can tell.

Are you an immigrant?

Not immigrant would put their kids education on the back burner like this. Certainly not an Asian.