Why do people think you have to spend so much on your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids don’t want to do rec soccer. They want to dance, do gymnastics, ride horses, take piano lessons, and play volleyball. They don’t want to go to cheap summer camp - they want to go to performing arts camps and travel camps, and tennis camps, etc.

I’m glad that your children are happy. My children have different interests. More expensive interests.

Help your local poor black or Latino neighbor realizes this dream for their kids too. I'm sure you under pay somewhere to save for your kids costs.

[Anonymous]

OP has 2 kids who are 3 and 5 years old, for sure. But wants to tell everyone else how life works.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care what others do enough to make the post?

[Anonymous]

I bet OP is the type of parent who will refuse to fill out the FAFSA so they can even get loans.

Hope you’re happy when your kids are working $11/hour jobs for the rest of their lives. It’s brutal out there without a BA.

[Anonymous]

The cost of community college varies by where you live. If you live in Virginia, the current cost is a bit over $3700 a year. So maybe with the max allowed loans and year round jobs, your kids could get through 2 years of community college. Probably not doable in Maryland. Current cost is $7300 a year. What you will have saved plus their earnings is unlikely to be enough to go straIght through for the last 2 years. even if they live at home.

I hope you're a troll. If not, I feel sorry for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 2 kids, we live in a 3 br townhouse in an exurb that has a 1400/mo mortgage, we send them to public school and we only save $2000 per year per kid for their college while having a 400k HHI. Rec soccer, cheap city summer camps. I don’t believe that you are morally obligated to financially strain yourself just to give your kids what society thinks is the ideal life. Our kids are very happy and don’t feel like they’re deprived from what I can tell.

It’s not a strain to save for college with an income of $400k. We did it with half that income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question meant without snark - what is 2k/year saved going to do for them? Are you planning on funding the rest of their college education? They won’t get aid with parents who have a 400k HHI, right?

I expect them to pay their way through school/get loans/community college the first 2 years. Once they can work I’ll encourage them to get jobs to help save for their college education. I’ll also discourage them from majoring in a field with poor earning prospects.

Damn if my parents made 400k and expected me to take out student loans I would cut them off. I’m not sure I could have an adult relationship with cheap stingy people like that. On 400k with a $1400 mortgage you should be saving like 200k a year. Where is it all going?! Why can’t you pay college out of cash flow.

And to pretend poverty for your kids and not let them play the sports they want is crazy too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet OP is the type of parent who will refuse to fill out the FAFSA so they can even get loans.

Hope you’re happy when your kids are working $11/hour jobs for the rest of their lives. It’s brutal out there without a BA.

My ex’s parents did this. Refused to give him money, refused to fill out fafsa. He never spoke to them again and wouldn’t even go home for summers. He basically lived on peoples generosity through college and are ramen. He rented a couch (yes! A couch not even a bedroom) and would watch people’s places over summer (mowing too) for free summer housing. He worked a part time job that gave him food, but he also sold plasma. That level of poverty really had an effect on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, some of us don’t have $400k HHI and other responsibilities so you “cheap” lifestyle would be a financial strain. I give my kids the best life I can because I want to. I do still value my own preferences and needs (retirement savings come first then college savings in my budgeting) but I like indulging the things they want to do even if it means not indulging something I want. It makes them happy which makes me happy which works it well for all of us.

Yeah, the description is basically the life we lead (we save more for college), but on less than half that income it's a strain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cost of community college varies by where you live. If you live in Virginia, the current cost is a bit over $3700 a year. So maybe with the max allowed loans and year round jobs, your kids could get through 2 years of community college. Probably not doable in Maryland. Current cost is $7300 a year. What you will have saved plus their earnings is unlikely to be enough to go straIght through for the last 2 years. even if they live at home.

I hope you're a troll. If not, I feel sorry for your kids.

OP here we are in MD, I don’t think the savings will be an issue and here’s why. We started saving as soon as we made the decision to have our first kid, 2 years before they were born so there will be 20 years of savings and the same for our second kid. 2000/yr compounding at 7% per year is $82,000 after 20 years in current year dollars. We will also be increasing the savings rate starting next year to 2400/yr to account for recent inflation. The current cost of college per year for in state students at UMD is around 25k give or take including room and board. For community college it’s around 7500/yr where we live and they will be living at home during that time with all expenses covered unless they insist on moving out (on their own dime of course!), so this only comes out to 65k for 4 years. Now of course, the cost of college might increase faster than inflation but this is out of our control. Investments could do poorly as well, but again that’s out of our control. If there’s a gap with the savings, kids can take out loans like I did or get a side job or good paying internship. Summer internships at good companies are paying $50+ an hour these days.

I went to school right when the financial crisis was happening and a lot of the money was invested in stocks so bad timing on my parents part, but that’s how it goes sometimes. I took out loans that were around 28k by the time I graduated. I paid everything off within 2 years because I made sure to go in to a lucrative field (tech) with a salary that made the 4 year college education worth it.

So I really don’t think the savings will be an issue. I also played rec soccer as a kid, was in my schools band, scouts, etc and didn’t feel like my parents limited my childhood enrichment at all. I’m on good terms with my parents and they were able to retire at an early age which I’m happy for.

[Anonymous]

Where is all you money going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids don’t want to do rec soccer. They want to dance, do gymnastics, ride horses, take piano lessons, and play volleyball. They don’t want to go to cheap summer camp - they want to go to performing arts camps and travel camps, and tennis camps, etc.

I’m glad that your children are happy. My children have different interests. More expensive interests.

Help your local poor black or Latino neighbor realizes this dream for their kids too. I'm sure you under pay somewhere to save for your kids costs.

Their kids are probably far worse off than other kids in the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The cost of community college varies by where you live. If you live in Virginia, the current cost is a bit over $3700 a year. So maybe with the max allowed loans and year round jobs, your kids could get through 2 years of community college. Probably not doable in Maryland. Current cost is $7300 a year. What you will have saved plus their earnings is unlikely to be enough to go straIght through for the last 2 years. even if they live at home.

I hope you're a troll. If not, I feel sorry for your kids.

OP here we are in MD, I don’t think the savings will be an issue and here’s why. We started saving as soon as we made the decision to have our first kid, 2 years before they were born so there will be 20 years of savings and the same for our second kid. 2000/yr compounding at 7% per year is $82,000 after 20 years in current year dollars. We will also be increasing the savings rate starting next year to 2400/yr to account for recent inflation. The current cost of college per year for in state students at UMD is around 25k give or take including room and board. For community college it’s around 7500/yr where we live and they will be living at home during that time with all expenses covered unless they insist on moving out (on their own dime of course!), so this only comes out to 65k for 4 years. Now of course, the cost of college might increase faster than inflation but this is out of our control. Investments could do poorly as well, but again that’s out of our control. If there’s a gap with the savings, kids can take out loans like I did or get a side job or good paying internship. Summer internships at good companies are paying $50+ an hour these days.

I went to school right when the financial crisis was happening and a lot of the money was invested in stocks so bad timing on my parents part, but that’s how it goes sometimes. I took out loans that were around 28k by the time I graduated. I paid everything off within 2 years because I made sure to go in to a lucrative field (tech) with a salary that made the 4 year college education worth it.

So I really don’t think the savings will be an issue. I also played rec soccer as a kid, was in my schools band, scouts, etc and didn’t feel like my parents limited my childhood enrichment at all. I’m on good terms with my parents and they were able to retire at an early age which I’m happy for.

At $400K HHI you can afford to give your kids the 4-year residential college experience, which has so many benefits. They may not even get into UMD.

I feel sorry for them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think I “have to.” But the whole point of being rich is to give them more than I had (including fully funded college wherever they can get in). I don’t know what you spend the rest of your money on, but my kids and their education are my first priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question meant without snark - what is 2k/year saved going to do for them? Are you planning on funding the rest of their college education? They won’t get aid with parents who have a 400k HHI, right?

I expect them to pay their way through school/get loans/community college the first 2 years. Once they can work I’ll encourage them to get jobs to help save for their college education. I’ll also discourage them from majoring in a field with poor earning prospects.

Wow, you suck. You do realize that your kids are going to see your income & assets when you fill out the FAFSA? Do you have any idea how much college costs (even instate ones like VT & GMU)?

I hope your kids use their leverage against you when they’re adults.

All the “but the boooooot straps” cheapskates of DCUM may disagree, but from my vantage point as an exec in corporate America, for the first few jobs after college graduation the age of the applicant and name recognition of the school really do matter. When there are multiple 22/23yr old traditional applicants from big name schools and a 28yr old going for their first job after community college / part time degree seeking / working at daddy’s muffler shop for 6 years - the traditional applicant is going to win. We don’t see your age, but we know when you graduated high school and where that school was located. If it’s an impoverished urban school or somewhere rural, you maybe get the benefit of the doubt that it’s a hard luck bootstraps story. If you come from a decent suburb, we don’t know if you have issues that will make you an unreliable employee or if you just have jerk parents who refused to help you.