Dumped out of the blue

[Anonymous]

He never said I love you? Then you're just boots call.

He doesn't know what he wants, he's a lover, maybe is hard for another girl.

OP, move on

[Anonymous]

Booty calll

[Anonymous]

Dude. He recently lost his virginity. I’m sure he wants to sleep worth more than 2-3 women before he settles down for life. He would def not be faithful under those circumstances.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand. You’re still together because he expected the “I’m not into you” conversation to last more than one day? So you’re going to stay together and continue talking about how he’s not into you? I can’t fathom how he thought the conversation would end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. Breakups are hard. 10 months in a long time. Be nice to yourself and work hard to let him go. If he doesn't want you he doesn't deserve you. Hugs.

I’m pathetic. I already texted him and said I’m not ready to end this. He wrote back okay, I’m free at 12. I guess we both technically ended it because when he broached the subject he was like “I don’t want this to be a one time convo,” and then when I asked well why did you have me meet your siblings he was like “I didn’t really have a way out,” at which point I just got my things and left. So idk what he wants. He’s never been in a fully adult relationship, didn’t lose his virginity until recently…maybe he doesn’t know?

He knows! He told you what he wants—he wants to leave you! He has been very clear and there is no ambiguity. He does not want you and is doing you a huge favor by freeing you to find the right guy for you rather than continue dragging things out.

Please, please, please love yourself enough to pack your bags and go.

+1 this guy is not the one. Accept it is the end.

[Anonymous]

sounds like he met someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People in these threads are always so weird about women wanting to get back with an ex, like no couple has ever broken up before and gotten back together.

This man is barely an ex. He dumped her last night and she's begging him to stay big difference for a couple that splits up and gets back together months, years down the road.

DP but what’s the difference? Oh it’s so much better to wait a few months instead of a few hours? It’s the same thing. I feel like people are just being nasty to this op for the sake of being nasty like “oh no one gets back with an ex, not successfully, you’re so stupid OP.” Then someone says “my bf and I broke up and got married” and you guys are like well of course YOU did because you handled the situation so much better than OP. Bizarre. It’s the same effing thing to get back together a year later and a day later.

No it's different because generally after an actual break up both parties have had a real chance to reflect on what split them up and grow and decide if getting together again is right.
That's not happening here.
And no one is being mean to op. They are being honest with her, her behavior is not healthy. Their actions are not how emotionally healthy people in healthy relationships behave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

1. We talked for about an hour at lunchtime and it seems like there is a fundamental misunderstanding between how he envisioned last night going and how I interpreted it. For example, he made a comment about “I wanted to text to say goodnight but I figured you didn’t want to talk.” I was like, well why would you, after last night I thought we would never speak again and he said he didn’t intend for last night to be a one-time conversation.

2. I don’t think he handled it immaturely. Nor do I think he’s gay, I was only pointing out that he lost his virginity late to indicate he’s not been in a lot of either serious or casual relationships. He once said he isn’t good at reading signs and that a girl in college had a crush on him and he didn’t find out until years later even though his friends were aware - I think if he has any flaws he’s not great at emotional intimacy.

3. I appreciate the kind words but also just want to be clear to everyone that I’m not crazy or manipulative, nor am I intent on making him the villain. Just in love and sad

What!?
There's a lot of concerning things here. Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

1. We talked for about an hour at lunchtime and it seems like there is a fundamental misunderstanding between how he envisioned last night going and how I interpreted it. For example, he made a comment about “I wanted to text to say goodnight but I figured you didn’t want to talk.” I was like, well why would you, after last night I thought we would never speak again and he said he didn’t intend for last night to be a one-time conversation.

2. I don’t think he handled it immaturely. Nor do I think he’s gay, I was only pointing out that he lost his virginity late to indicate he’s not been in a lot of either serious or casual relationships. He once said he isn’t good at reading signs and that a girl in college had a crush on him and he didn’t find out until years later even though his friends were aware - I think if he has any flaws he’s not great at emotional intimacy.

3. I appreciate the kind words but also just want to be clear to everyone that I’m not crazy or manipulative, nor am I intent on making him the villain. Just in love and sad

What!?
There's a lot of concerning things here. Op.

Not OP but not really.

[Anonymous]

He is now going to want his cake and eat it too - so he can be comfortable in the relationship knowing that he’s been honest and OP will have no expectations of love or commitment. OP, why would you stay together after this? There are consequences for such a conversation and your BF should not expect things to resume as normal.

[Anonymous]

Honestly sounds a bit like he’s on the spectrum. Since this drama is happening, may as well get out now before you end up with a man who can’t meet your emotional needs.

[Anonymous]

Op, this reunion might not last. He told you he’s not that into you, but when you are upset he backpeddled and now you guys are back together. Watch for signs of him pulling back. and if you see them, just break up with him and get it over with. make a clean break no contact, otherwise it will be messy and you’ll end up wasting a lot of time.

When a man wants to be with you, you will know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, this reunion might not last. He told you he’s not that into you, but when you are upset he backpeddled and now you guys are back together. Watch for signs of him pulling back. and if you see them, just break up with him and get it over with. make a clean break no contact, otherwise it will be messy and you’ll end up wasting a lot of time.

When a man wants to be with you, you will know.

This, except she should break up with him NOW and not carry on with this getting back together stuff. They both sound too immature to be together. He brings up college crushes and she runs after him when he does a mush-mouthed breakup? They seem to be kids, despite their ages. She's only delaying the inevitable future breakup, or they'll end up married and she'll be back on DCUM in a few years talking about how emotionally unavailable her husband is.

[Anonymous]

Girl, you need to do "the 180" and start posting yourself on dates with a hot guy. Do NOT act desperate for someone who clearly thinks of you as an option. And one he's no longer inclined to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl, you need to do "the 180" and start posting yourself on dates with a hot guy. Do NOT act desperate for someone who clearly thinks of you as an option. And one he's no longer inclined to.

Oh god, another immature nutcase answer. Sure, she should post on social media with a hot guy at her side, just to make this guy jealous. That's the adult response to a breakup, for sure.

FFS. Grow the hell up, people.