Daycare teacher gone. Our kids fault?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

DP- if someone made a comment like that about my kid, I would follow up regardless of whether I thought it was true or not. Because if it wasn't true, I'd start to have reservations about the preschool and how they treated my child. If there was even an ounce of truth to the way my child was behaving in class, I'd want to address that too. Children can act differently in different environments- for us it's that our kids always get glowing reviews at daycare/school, but then let loose their frustrations at home with us. But for others it can be the opposite.

Also, non-SN kids can cause trouble in class too, so might be time to ditch that preconceived notion.....

OP is the one ignoring comments. She has ignored "normal boy behavior" at her own peril here. Why didn't she spend the time following up on what that actually meant when she heard it the first time? Excitable, loud and rowdy isn't normal for all boys. Are you suggesting it actually is and all boys are the same?

OP expressed confusion and literally said she was talking to the director today. Whereas as you literally said you would ignore such comments, because you know your neurotypical children would do such things.

[Anonymous]

Would *not* do such things

[Anonymous]

There is probably no chance that she left because of your son’s behavior, the director would have clued you in if there were issues. Since it is the end of the year I would find that unlikely. In my preschool, we provide developmental reports twice a year, and partner with behavioral specialists if needed for assessment.

We are educators and continue to strive to give a child a fun and enriching first school year experience in a warm and welcoming environment.
Yes, we are underpaid

[Anonymous]

It was unprofessional and unwise of the other teacher to share the reason but yes, teachers (daycare and K-12) have particular students that rub them the wrong way. I have a brother - well behaved as a child, but rambunctious - and my mom always said some teachers can't handle boys.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your “not particularly smart” comment tells me everything I need to know.

My intent wasn’t to be malicious. I only said this because it could explain why she felt like that was an appropriate comment to give a parent.

Still doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

DP- if someone made a comment like that about my kid, I would follow up regardless of whether I thought it was true or not. Because if it wasn't true, I'd start to have reservations about the preschool and how they treated my child. If there was even an ounce of truth to the way my child was behaving in class, I'd want to address that too. Children can act differently in different environments- for us it's that our kids always get glowing reviews at daycare/school, but then let loose their frustrations at home with us. But for others it can be the opposite.

Also, non-SN kids can cause trouble in class too, so might be time to ditch that preconceived notion.....

OP is the one ignoring comments. She has ignored "normal boy behavior" at her own peril here. Why didn't she spend the time following up on what that actually meant when she heard it the first time? Excitable, loud and rowdy isn't normal for all boys. Are you suggesting it actually is and all boys are the same?

OP expressed confusion and literally said she was talking to the director today. Whereas as you literally said you would ignore such comments, because you know your neurotypical children would do such things.

Yes I would literally ignore in this case and knowing my own kids. If the school has an issue they need to address it in a professional manner like they are supposed to. A throwaway comment from a disgruntled ex-employee is not worth missing sleep over if it doesn't match at all my own experience and everything else I've heard about my kids from countless other teachers.

[Anonymous]

Wow I am shocked by many of the early responses here.

OP - what this TA said to you was wildly unprofessional and inappropriate. I would probably pull my kid (if you can) from this place if there is a kernel of truth in this. If your child is having issues at school, this is how it gets communicated to you?! WTF. Whether or not your child is having issues, the teacher quitting "because" of him just says more about this teacher being in over her head and incompetent. Blaming a kid for an adult (whose profession it is to manage children) not being able to manage themselves? WTF. I hope you got this person fired, inadvertently or not.

[Anonymous]

Preschool teacher here. I fully believe that she could have quit because of your kid. There’s a reason it’s very hard to find daycare workers. It’s not worth it for the money. I’m lucky to be compensated appropriately at my school for my masters degree in education, but the bar is generally pretty low.
I encourage you to take a closer look at the “boy behavior” you describe. The truth is that most 3 year old boys can follow classroom rules and routines. For example, at the playground, your boy might be one who loves to climb high, get his energy out, etc. But those behaviors are only typical and appropriate at certain times. If something was truly going on, you should have been made aware and that is on the director. The teacher quitting is not your responsibility and you need to find a way to move on from it. You also need to ask the director to be brutally honest with you about the concerns re: your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preschool teacher here. I fully believe that she could have quit because of your kid. There’s a reason it’s very hard to find daycare workers. It’s not worth it for the money. I’m lucky to be compensated appropriately at my school for my masters degree in education, but the bar is generally pretty low.
I encourage you to take a closer look at the “boy behavior” you describe. The truth is that most 3 year old boys can follow classroom rules and routines. For example, at the playground, your boy might be one who loves to climb high, get his energy out, etc. But those behaviors are only typical and appropriate at certain times. If something was truly going on, you should have been made aware and that is on the director. The teacher quitting is not your responsibility and you need to find a way to move on from it. You also need to ask the director to be brutally honest with you about the concerns re: your kid.

Would you really quit the job completely before saying anything at all to the parent? Why would no one mention anything until after someone had quit?

[Anonymous]

It really must have been OP’s kid that did the damage. She never came back to fill us in after her meeting with the director this afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really must have been OP’s kid that did the damage. She never came back to fill us in after her meeting with the director this afternoon.

I don't really see what the school has to gain by not telling parents their kids are causing problems. Seems easier to replace kids that have been counseled out than finding qualified reliable staff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Preschool teacher here. I fully believe that she could have quit because of your kid. There’s a reason it’s very hard to find daycare workers. It’s not worth it for the money. I’m lucky to be compensated appropriately at my school for my masters degree in education, but the bar is generally pretty low.
I encourage you to take a closer look at the “boy behavior” you describe. The truth is that most 3 year old boys can follow classroom rules and routines. For example, at the playground, your boy might be one who loves to climb high, get his energy out, etc. But those behaviors are only typical and appropriate at certain times. If something was truly going on, you should have been made aware and that is on the director. The teacher quitting is not your responsibility and you need to find a way to move on from it. You also need to ask the director to be brutally honest with you about the concerns re: your kid.

Would you really quit the job completely before saying anything at all to the parent? Why would no one mention anything until after someone had quit?

I wouldn’t, but I also have the support of my administration. I also strongly suspect that part of the guilt here is that the parent was informed and blew it off. Teachers are tired. There are plenty of other jobs out there.

[Anonymous]

“Boy behavior,” hmm. Got it. You’re that mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really must have been OP’s kid that did the damage. She never came back to fill us in after her meeting with the director this afternoon.

I don't really see what the school has to gain by not telling parents their kids are causing problems. Seems easier to replace kids that have been counseled out than finding qualified reliable staff.

Right? I would really hope my child’s school would tell me if they were behaving terribly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your “not particularly smart” comment tells me everything I need to know.

Yeah. OP is pathetic and disgusting. I’m sure gee email was laughed at throughout the school.