Daycare teacher gone. Our kids fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not surprised that so many people assume your kid is awful. Speak to the director and find out what is really going on. If your child's behavior is this terrible that a teacher quit over it, the daycare should have had a direct conversation with you about it. You shouldn't have to guess and read between the lines with the people who are caring for your 3 year old.

Quoting myself to day - I meant that it is typical of DCUM to assume that your kid is terrible. If he is a problem, they should have addressed that with you directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enlighten us, OP. What is "normal boy behavior?"

I have 3 kids, and I'm clueless as to what you mean.

Rowdy, loud, excitable. Nothing I don’t see from the other boys in his class.

He’s not violent or aggressive. He’s generally a happy, well-adjusted kid.

This sounds completely normal and if the daycare hasn’t been consistently bringing up behavioral issues with you I wouldn’t worry about it. Very possible she mixed up the name as you already suggested. If they do suddenly make you aware of serious problems they have neglected to mention I’d switch daycares.

My son was not doing a good job listening in preschool and the teachers immediately told me so we could work together to nip this in the bud. I can’t imagine them quitting their jobs before telling me something was going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

[Anonymous]

So, basically you know your child is struggling and misbehaving and instead of working with your child and getting him help, if things don't improve, you just dismiss it. Good luck in years to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

Kids with SN usually are cut slack if the teachers know and you are getting them help. My child had significant SN when in preschool. We never had an issue as the school knew we were dealing with the concerns outside of school and went above and beyond to support my child. Stop blaming SN kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, basically you know your child is struggling and misbehaving and instead of working with your child and getting him help, if things don't improve, you just dismiss it. Good luck in years to come.

Where are you getting this information that her dc is struggling and needs help? No educator in their right mind would fail to address behavior problems with the parents directly before quitting. I’m the pp who worked at a daycare and parents were pulled aside for discussions and meetings when we had serious concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

Kids with SN usually are cut slack if the teachers know and you are getting them help. My child had significant SN when in preschool. We never had an issue as the school knew we were dealing with the concerns outside of school and went above and beyond to support my child. Stop blaming SN kids.

Still wrong. It took years to get my daughter's diagnosis. She didn't have it in preschool. But she was a handful. So I was in communication often. And blaming SN kids? Stop blaming boys and assuming they are all spoiled monsters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

DP- if someone made a comment like that about my kid, I would follow up regardless of whether I thought it was true or not. Because if it wasn't true, I'd start to have reservations about the preschool and how they treated my child. If there was even an ounce of truth to the way my child was behaving in class, I'd want to address that too. Children can act differently in different environments- for us it's that our kids always get glowing reviews at daycare/school, but then let loose their frustrations at home with us. But for others it can be the opposite.

Also, non-SN kids can cause trouble in class too, so might be time to ditch that preconceived notion.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, basically you know your child is struggling and misbehaving and instead of working with your child and getting him help, if things don't improve, you just dismiss it. Good luck in years to come.

Where are you getting this information that her dc is struggling and needs help? No educator in their right mind would fail to address behavior problems with the parents directly before quitting. I’m the pp who worked at a daycare and parents were pulled aside for discussions and meetings when we had serious concerns.

Day care jobs are low paying and very easy to get. Most parents are not responsive to concerns by day care teachers so they often say nothing. She probably complained to the director who ignored the complaints, got fed up and quit.

Day care workers are not educators. They are low paid caretakers who work very hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.

You wouldn't be so bothered by it unless you though there was some truth to it. Since you're not at school you can't really speak to what his behavior is like when you're not there. Time to call a conference and find out what's really going on.

What? I would be bothered by this comment regardless of whether I knew if there was truth to it or not. It sounds like OP has already scheduled a call and reached out to the departed teacher.

Was it not clear? If you are honest about your kids this wouldn't come as a surprise. If you are upset, then you know there is something there. If someone said this about either of my sons I wouldn't believe it. And would go on with my day. But, if it was said about my daughter, then I wouldn't be shocked and losing sleep over it. I know my kids well enough.

Lol. You wouldn't follow up on the comments about your sons? You are the entitled parents we are quitting our jobs over! Because you just can't believe your little prince charming is wreaking havoc all day.

Did you just skip right over the part where I said my daughter causes the issues? We know you hate little boys and assume they are all monsters. But in my case it's my daughter with special needs who struggles the most. I have a lot of communication back and forth with her teachers, as it should be. So if someone made a random comment about my sons, yes I would ignore because it's out of character and they are a few years beyond preschool. But, any minute they're going to be wreaking havoc, right? Doesn't sound like teaching is a good fit for you with all your biases and preconceived notions. Please do quit if you haven't already.

DP- if someone made a comment like that about my kid, I would follow up regardless of whether I thought it was true or not. Because if it wasn't true, I'd start to have reservations about the preschool and how they treated my child. If there was even an ounce of truth to the way my child was behaving in class, I'd want to address that too. Children can act differently in different environments- for us it's that our kids always get glowing reviews at daycare/school, but then let loose their frustrations at home with us. But for others it can be the opposite.

Also, non-SN kids can cause trouble in class too, so might be time to ditch that preconceived notion.....

OP is the one ignoring comments. She has ignored "normal boy behavior" at her own peril here. Why didn't she spend the time following up on what that actually meant when she heard it the first time? Excitable, loud and rowdy isn't normal for all boys. Are you suggesting it actually is and all boys are the same?

[Anonymous]

The teacher quit bc she wasn't getting the support from the director /front office that she'd been hoping for.
Not having your boss encouraging you or advocating on your behalf is huge and is often the main reason why a teacher quits.

I imagine there might have been other things too - low pay, poor morale, etc and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a weird comment and I can’t understand why they wouldn’t have spoken to you about your child’s behavioral issues already if people were quitting their jobs due to it.

I would be very put off by a daycare or school that 1. Gossiped this way to parents and 2. Didn’t communicate about serious issues they were noticing

This. Something is off about the whole situation.

Agreed. I think OP might be right that they said the wrong name. It would be such a bizarre comment otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your “not particularly smart” comment tells me everything I need to know.

+1
Not a good look for you, OP. These ladies do hard work for very low pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, basically you know your child is struggling and misbehaving and instead of working with your child and getting him help, if things don't improve, you just dismiss it. Good luck in years to come.

Where are you getting this information that her dc is struggling and needs help? No educator in their right mind would fail to address behavior problems with the parents directly before quitting. I’m the pp who worked at a daycare and parents were pulled aside for discussions and meetings when we had serious concerns.

Day care jobs are low paying and very easy to get. Most parents are not responsive to concerns by day care teachers so they often say nothing. She probably complained to the director who ignored the complaints, got fed up and quit.

Day care workers are not educators. They are low paid caretakers who work very hard.

I worked at a daycare in college for a summer and it was by far the worst job I ever had. The pay was a joke and we were all treated like garbage by parents and management. Turnover was incredibly high because people knew they could make the same if not more at McDonalds and it would be much easier.

I felt so bad for the older women working there. They seemed so depressed. They all truly loved the kids in their care and did the best they could but damn, one person with 12 3-year-olds you can only do so much.

I remember I had a kid (4 or 5) who was incredibly violent with staff and other kids but nothing was done because his mother was best buds with the owner. Many teachers quit over him. Still shudder when I meet a kid name Carson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a weird comment and I can’t understand why they wouldn’t have spoken to you about your child’s behavioral issues already if people were quitting their jobs due to it.

I would be very put off by a daycare or school that 1. Gossiped this way to parents and 2. Didn’t communicate about serious issues they were noticing

+1 ours requests parents come in for issues etc if there are issues.