Daycare teacher gone. Our kids fault?

[Anonymous]

Dropped DS (3) off at daycare and I was informed by front office that Friday evening his daycare teacher quit. She’s been great and I was so surprised. I went into his classroom to drop off with assistant teacher and said I was sad that the lead teacher was gone.

Assistant teacher sighed and said, “yeah, I figure she’s be quitting soon she’s had a really tough time with [my sons name] behavior.”

I didn’t really know what to say. I don’t know this teacher very well but she seemed sweet if not particularly smart.

I went home and the more I thought about it the more it got to me. I’ve never heard much about DS behavior other than the normal boy behavior.

I sent a quick email to the daycare manager and got a response quickly saying we could speak this afternoon. Also reached out to teacher via Facebook but not sure if she’ll see it as we aren’t friends.

It just seems like such an off the wall comment and I’m sick to my stomach about it. Can barely get any work done.

No one has ever really complained about DS behavior.

[Anonymous]

Let it roll off your back. These are very very low paying difficult positions.

[Anonymous]

Your “not particularly smart” comment tells me everything I need to know.

[Anonymous]

Enlighten us, OP. What is "normal boy behavior?"

I have 3 kids, and I'm clueless as to what you mean.

[Anonymous]

You probably got the TA fired.

Time to find a new daycare. Or perhaps a nanny would be beneficial for your family.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible they have been trying to tell you diplomatically about your child's behavior issues, but were not direct enough and you thought they were just describing normal behavior? I think sometimes teachers have to deal with angry parents too much so they try to soften the information they provide. Unfortunately for some of us (me included) it causes us to delay getting help because we don't recognize the seriousness of the issue.

I hope your meeting is about your child's behavior and not the teacher's comment. Btw I assume by "daycare manager" you mean the director.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably got the TA fired.

Time to find a new daycare. Or perhaps a nanny would be beneficial for your family.

Considering the class just lost another staff member, I doubt the comment will be considered egregious enough to get them fired.

But OP, I would focus your conversation on what's going on with your son, vs. the TA speaking out of turn. Because it sounds like maybe they have not been upfront with you about his behavior, if the TA speculates that's why the teacher left. But FWIW, I would also take what she said with a grain of salt. Lots of daycares are having staffing issues right now, a longtime teacher just left at our daycare too and many have speculated it was due to disagreements with the director, but who knows?

[Anonymous]

If your kid is the reason the teacher left then you probably need an appointment with a developmental pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

I’m not saying your child caused it, because I don’t know you or your family. But I completely believe that a teacher is at her wits end because of a single child. She’s not the Director so she kept terminate him so she needs to just terminate her employment for her own sanity.

Some kids are off the wall wild. Not just normal kid crazy and funny or even normal kid hyper. I’m talking off-the-wall behavior that is so bad you would see in reality show.

[Anonymous]

It feels like the TA you saw took the chance she had to tell you something about your kid. Not sure what you're supposed to do about it since you're not in the classroom. However, would be good at thus moment in time to see if there's something there that you can support at home.

[Anonymous]

It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enlighten us, OP. What is "normal boy behavior?"

I have 3 kids, and I'm clueless as to what you mean.

Exactly. “Boy behavior” is your issue if you see it like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your “not particularly smart” comment tells me everything I need to know.

My intent wasn’t to be malicious. I only said this because it could explain why she felt like that was an appropriate comment to give a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enlighten us, OP. What is "normal boy behavior?"

I have 3 kids, and I'm clueless as to what you mean.

Rowdy, loud, excitable. Nothing I don’t see from the other boys in his class.

He’s not violent or aggressive. He’s generally a happy, well-adjusted kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems weird that the assistant would be so blunt. It almost makes me wonder if she meant some other kid but said your kid’s name because she was looking at you. It can’t hurt to get honest feedback on your son’s behavior. If the assistant’s comment wasn’t erroneous, you need to know what’s going on.

I’m wondering if she just got me confused with another kids parent?

There is a little boy in the class who is constant trouble. He’s in the office a lot during pick ups.