How do you get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also had a crush on a coworker. We're both married with similarly aged kids but sometimes it felt like I actually had more in common with him than with my husband - we like similar music, have similar styles, similar backgrounds. I got pretty deep in the crush (of course nothing ever happened) and I had some serious NSFW dreams about him which made me feel AWFUL. As we continued working together, I started seeing so many things I disliked about him and I just "grew out of it". Now I can barely stand the guy!

…yeah this has happened to me too. Trusted him, loved him, extremely close, but saw him consider or make some decisions that I didn’t just disagree with, but made me think he was spineless and he fell from his pedestal in my eyes.

[Anonymous]

We saw each other today and I was annoyed by some behavior and comments related to work, but here I am still thinking about them.

I guess I am just bored in my marriage and need to get some more hobbies to keep me busy.

[Anonymous]

No, different words have different meanings. Limerence is different from a “crush.”

News Flash from the PP: Different words have different meanings!!!!

The term "limerence" might be applied differently than "crush" since you are unlikely to say that your eighth-grade DD has a limerence for her brother's tenth-grade best friend. However, when applied to adults, there is no material difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, different words have different meanings. Limerence is different from a “crush.”

News Flash from the PP: Different words have different meanings!!!!

The term "limerence" might be applied differently than "crush" since you are unlikely to say that your eighth-grade DD has a limerence for her brother's tenth-grade best friend. However, when applied to adults, there is no material difference.

Limerence is much more involved and deep than a crush.

This can go on for YEARS and sometimes unresolved.

[Anonymous]

Limerence is much more involved and deep than a crush.

This can go on for YEARS and sometimes unresolved.

A crush can be very deep, go on for years, and be left unresolved. You are posting distinctions with differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Limerence is much more involved and deep than a crush.

This can go on for YEARS and sometimes unresolved.

A crush can be very deep, go on for years, and be left unresolved. You are posting distinctions with differences.

crushes are short lived and mostly forgotten by four months.

[Anonymous]

OP does he like you in return? If not you have an unrequited crush and that can take some time.

[Anonymous]

No advice op just commiserating. I have a crush on my PA. Totally my type and if he wasn't my PA I totally would go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP does he like you in return? If not you have an unrequited crush and that can take some time.

I don’t know, hard to tell since we don’t see each other frequently.

[Anonymous]

"crushes are short lived [sic] and mostly forgotten by four months.

You mean crushes at Longfellow Middle School are

mostly forgotten

by four months. In this thread and others, adult posters are posting about decade-long crushes they have.

You are using the word "limerance" because you believe it makes an adult crush sound sophisticated and worldly. It does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"crushes are short lived [sic] and mostly forgotten by four months.

You mean crushes at Longfellow Middle School are

mostly forgotten

by four months. In this thread and others, adult posters are posting about decade-long crushes they have.

You are using the word "limerance" because you believe it makes an adult crush sound sophisticated and worldly. It does not.

Limercrush

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Limerence is much more involved and deep than a crush.

This can go on for YEARS and sometimes unresolved.

A crush can be very deep, go on for years, and be left unresolved. You are posting distinctions with differences.

crushes are short lived and mostly forgotten by four months.

Says you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine was super intense and lasted for years AND we had to work together all the time. He died, which solved it. Now I just miss him.

I wouldn’t call this a crush. Limerence or a one sided emotional affair, maybe… but not a crush.

It is not an emotional affair or limerance if it’s not mutual. It’s a crush by definition.

You don’t know what limerence even is- it can definitely be one sided.

There’s no difference between what you’re calling limerence and a strong physical and personal attraction, otherwise known as a major crush.

No, different words have different meanings. Limerence is different from a “crush.”

Limerance is what adults who have been to therapy or read self-help books call a crush. If there is a difference, no one has ever been able to articulate well on DCUM. If you want to give it a shot, go for it.

[Anonymous]

How to get over a crush?
Get under your crush!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How to get over a crush?
Get under your crush!

Then you’ll crush even harder!