DH opposing 8yo DS having ears pierced

[Anonymous]

My own sons didn't ever get pierced ears, but there are a few boys at church who have them done-I guess it's a thing now for boys to get both ears done, as opposed to one ear (which was the trend in the past).

Anyhow, the boys are good kids who help a lot a church and defenitely appear as male. No one teases them.

OP, since your dh is so opposed, maybe get ds the magnetic studs others have mentioned (as long as no other dc would swallow them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're into pushing back on the gender stereotyping Op? Why did your girls, at a young age, get their ears pierced? I woukd think you'd encourage your girls to get buzz cuts instead. You know, gender stereotypes and all.

Did you, by chance, plant the idea in your kid's head he should get his ear pierced?

NP, but I got my ears pierced at 4.5, after begging for a year. I was a sporty kid who wanted pierced ears and loved ballet also.

Our private MS does not let girls wear earrings when playing sports and many sports don’t allow jewelry. Of your kids are sporty getting ears pierced young avoids the issue of needing to take out earrings to play sports when wars were recently pierced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your DH. Sorry.

+1. 8 YO boys should not be obsessed with this kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for your husband. You’re a fool OP. Your son is not another daughter. Be a Parian’s learn to say no.

100%. earrings one day, dresses and hormones the next.

If the kid us gonna be trans or gay DH not letting him get his ears pierced us not gonna change that. You are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you're into pushing back on the gender stereotyping Op? Why did your girls, at a young age, get their ears pierced? I woukd think you'd encourage your girls to get buzz cuts instead. You know, gender stereotypes and all.

Did you, by chance, plant the idea in your kid's head he should get his ear pierced?

NP, but I got my ears pierced at 4.5, after begging for a year. I was a sporty kid who wanted pierced ears and loved ballet also.

Our private MS does not let girls wear earrings when playing sports and many sports don’t allow jewelry. Of your kids are sporty getting ears pierced young avoids the issue of needing to take out earrings to play sports when wars were recently pierced.

Even small studs?

[Anonymous]

I am with your husband. DS can get them pierced when he’s 16 or 18. That wouldn’t happen on my watch as parent.

[Anonymous]

If I pierced my daughters ears at 3 and 5, I would absolutely allow my son to pierce his at 8. now I personally wouldn’t pierce my daughter‘s ears at those young ages. Piercing ears though is so benign I think I would agree for any gender at 8.

And for the folks wondering about daughter and buzz cuts would absolutely allow at any age. I had a buzz cut as a kid and wouldn’t want to be a hypocrite. I would talk to her about the potential social reactions first just to make sure she understands how people might respond.

[Anonymous]

Um, no. I wouldn’t let my 8 yo get a tattoo either or dye their hair a permanent color. It’s okay to just say no to your kid and gnot have to explain yourself, you’re the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10yo DD who is very boyish in her clothing choices and hairstyle but has her ears pierced. Her body her choice. I would let my son do it as well. Why is DH opposed?

Because he's 8, not 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10yo DD who is very boyish in her clothing choices and hairstyle but has her ears pierced. Her body her choice. I would let my son do it as well. Why is DH opposed?

Because he's 8, not 18.

I think you and many others are missing the issue. If you are against earrings for young kids, that is fine (I am also, FWIW). But OP and her husband are fine with pierced ears on children, so long as those children are girls. I find that problematic, and the sexism is probably an issue with things more important than earrings. I’d be very upset at the double standard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my spouse prohibited one of my kids from doing something solely due to gender and we let our kids of the other gender engage, I’d be making an 100% equalization policy in my house. If both sexes can’t do it, neither can. And I’d take earrings away from my girls.

This. OP, you have a DH problem. Tomorrow he might allow your son to do certain things and girls not. Would you be ok with it? If it was my DS, I would take him to get ears pierced. DH might be hopping mad for a few days but will get over it.

I take it that you aren't married...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10yo DD who is very boyish in her clothing choices and hairstyle but has her ears pierced. Her body her choice. I would let my son do it as well. Why is DH opposed?

Because he's 8, not 18.

I think you and many others are missing the issue. If you are against earrings for young kids, that is fine (I am also, FWIW). But OP and her husband are fine with pierced ears on children, so long as those children are girls. I find that problematic, and the sexism is probably an issue with things more important than earrings. I’d be very upset at the double standard.

Actually, we don't know this. What we can infer from OP's post is that she is fine with it on children, not necessarily how DH felt at the time.

It also could be that this is all unfolding and being "discovered" as it happens and was not discussed in total up front - which is to say, had OP posed the condition of ear piercing as "all or nothing" regardless of gender up front, perhaps DH would have said, "OK, to avoid the double-standard, the children all have to wait until 16 or 18" or whatever.

It's a dirty trick to get the girls done when they are young and then hit DH with the double-standard trap later when it's the boy.

I'm team DH on this, unless this was all discussed up front when the girls had their ears done and now he's going back on his word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my spouse prohibited one of my kids from doing something solely due to gender and we let our kids of the other gender engage, I’d be making an 100% equalization policy in my house. If both sexes can’t do it, neither can. And I’d take earrings away from my girls.

This. OP, you have a DH problem. Tomorrow he might allow your son to do certain things and girls not. Would you be ok with it? If it was my DS, I would take him to get ears pierced. DH might be hopping mad for a few days but will get over it.

I take it that you aren't married...

Lol married and have older DS and younger DD. DS doesn't have ears pierced and hasn't asked for it and neither has DD. When he was younger maybe ~4 yo I had his nails painted because he saw mine and wanted to get his done too. DH threw a huge fit! In retrospective I can understand since that is not how he grew up in a very conservative family. Since then he has become more progressive and come around to the notion that boys (and girls) can do things that were once deemed exclusive of a particular gender.

[Anonymous]

Your DH is right
Tell DS boys have ears pierced in their teens
Then revisit in teen years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No ear piercings until 12. For anyone. They are responsible for good cleaning to prevent infection and old enough to understand the permanence

This sounds like my mom’s approach.

In elementary school, when “all the other girls” were getting their ears pierced, I begged and pleaded to have mine done. Mom said keeping them clean was critical to avoid infection and she didn’t want the hassle of staying on top of me about it, so I had to wait until I was older and more responsible. Finally, sometime in Junior High, she decided I was old enough to be trusted with them and gave me permission. By that time, I had thought it through and realized there would be pain involved. I decided I wasn’t in such a big hurry after all. Knowing I could pierce them any time I felt the pain and subsequent hassle was worth it, I just never got to that point. I’m now over 50 and I doubt I’ll ever get my ears pierced. It’s fine for other people, but for me, I don’t think the positives outweigh the negatives.