DH opposing 8yo DS having ears pierced

[Anonymous]

I know a great 4th grade boy with both ears pierced. He looks great—very cool and unique. Per his parents, he seems pretty gender conforming (to the extent you can tell at age 10). He’s cool and independent (and into music. He got the idea from his guitar teacher).

I would let my son do this if he was mature enough to take care of the piercings and had a persistent desire. Same test for a girl. As with all things that might trigger rude comments, I would mention relevant stereotypes, talk about how to confront them, etc.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I both got our ears pierced when we were 10. Our oldest son is only 6 and wants them but we told him he has to wait until he’s in the double digits. We just have boys but it would be the same rule with a girl.

I think it’s ok to change rules on kid by kid basis as you learn as a parent so I think it’s ok to push the age out but I also would talk to your DH about what the source of his discomfort is. Is he worried it’s not masculine/gay? Too “ethnic” ( I assume your kids are white)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male ear-piercings are hideous.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would find a middle ground and get the magnetic studs. I don’t think you should get anything pierced or tattooed without both parents approval but I think the child should be able to have some say in their appearance. The magnetic studs would be a happy medium.

Be very careful with magnetic studs around small children. Swallowed magnets can perforate internal organs

https://www.england.nhs.uk/2021/05/dangers-of-children-swallowing-magnets-prompts-nhs-call-for-ban/

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the in the 90s and it was very common for boys to have their ears pierced. Given that lots of 90s fashion is back it doesn’t surprise me that this may be coming back too. I think it’s a good way to give a kid some bodily autonomy in a way that’s basically reversible.

[Anonymous]

Against the grain here but I would say no until he is older. Regardless of gender, and excluding doing so for cultural reasons, I think it’s too young to permanently alter your body for the sake of fashion. I think it can look trashy on elementary aged kids, boys and girls. He’s got his entire life, the next 90 years, to do body art. Let that happen later.

[Anonymous]

Team DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my spouse prohibited one of my kids from doing something solely due to gender and we let our kids of the other gender engage, I’d be making an 100% equalization policy in my house. If both sexes can’t do it, neither can. And I’d take earrings away from my girls.

This. OP, you have a DH problem. Tomorrow he might allow your son to do certain things and girls not. Would you be ok with it? If it was my DS, I would take him to get ears pierced. DH might be hopping mad for a few days but will get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my spouse prohibited one of my kids from doing something solely due to gender and we let our kids of the other gender engage, I’d be making an 100% equalization policy in my house. If both sexes can’t do it, neither can. And I’d take earrings away from my girls.

This. OP, you have a DH problem. Tomorrow he might allow your son to do certain things and girls not. Would you be ok with it? If it was my DS, I would take him to get ears pierced. DH might be hopping mad for a few days but will get over it.

Uhhh, no. Fastest way to erode trust in your marriage. The kid can wait.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand piercing baby ears. What’s the point? Is she a doll that you’re dressing up?

If he really wants to let him try it. Just stay away from sparkly fake diamonds. So tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I don’t understand piercing baby ears. What’s the point? Is she a doll that you’re dressing up?

If he really wants to let him try it. Just stay away from sparkly fake diamonds. So tacky.

The kid is 8 y/o, not a baby anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my spouse prohibited one of my kids from doing something solely due to gender and we let our kids of the other gender engage, I’d be making an 100% equalization policy in my house. If both sexes can’t do it, neither can. And I’d take earrings away from my girls.

Why not get the girls buzz cuts? Why shave? Why not have your DD’s only wear knee-length shorts, and have your DS wear capris? Equality, right?

NP. If the girls want buzz cuts and knee length shorts, and DS wants capris I fall to see why any of this would be an issue? Not even sure which gender you’re assuming should (or should not?) shave but if my boys want to grow moustaches more power to them, and anyone’s allowed to have hairy legs in my house if they want them. I sure can’t be bothered to shave mine regularly. But likewise razors will be available to anyone who wants silky smooth armpits.

Because the kids we are discussing are 8 YO. There are (supposedly) people in their lives called PARENTS who give them guidance on things like this.

[Anonymous]

I’d want to understand more on why DS wants earrings and why DH says no.

8 is not a teenager but I volunteer at the high school. Lots of boys wearing earrings, nail polish etc(not necessarily the same kid) but other male presenting.

[Anonymous]

I’m with your DH. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with your DH. Sorry.

But why?