Child wants to transfer to Vassar-advice?

[Anonymous]

OMG, don't!! My SIL went to Vassar and she and her friends are the most pretentious, annoying, full of themselves, full of sh*t people I've ever met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, don't!! My SIL went to Vassar and she and her friends are the most pretentious, annoying, full of themselves, full of sh*t people I've ever met.

*These are recent grads. SIL is 12 years younger than DH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

Are you a Vassar grad yourself? Where exactly were you "peripherally aware of thie alternative/LGBT drug scene" 30 years? Not at Vassar, I'm betting.

You sure do seem determined to paint the school today as drug-addled, but based on what? Let's see your evidence: One, "A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school" and died, and two, a Wesleyan grad who died due to drugs when he was in his 50s. So, 30 years after he was at a college that isn't even Vassar. Your credibility is nil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

Are you a Vassar grad yourself? Where exactly were you "peripherally aware of thie alternative/LGBT drug scene" 30 years? Not at Vassar, I'm betting.

You sure do seem determined to paint the school today as drug-addled, but based on what? Let's see your evidence: One, "A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school" and died, and two, a Wesleyan grad who died due to drugs when he was in his 50s. So, 30 years after he was at a college that isn't even Vassar. Your credibility is nil.

+1

That poster has a clear agenda and incredibly remote anecdotes.

[Anonymous]

Transfer admissions is its own thing. It is slightly trickier than regular hs admit process. I did it. Some years schools have more transfer places, some years fewer. Make sure DC is building relationships with professirs and others who can write recommendations. Have a strong rationale for why vassar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, don't!! My SIL went to Vassar and she and her friends are the most pretentious, annoying, full of themselves, full of sh*t people I've ever met.

This as well. It’s the whole, “we’re too cool and smart for the whole heteronormative mass culture” thing. Now let’s go into our sex dungeon, do some synthetic drugs and talk about fighting capitalism while wearing $400 shoes

[Anonymous]

That’s better than NOT fighting capitalism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

'

NP. I actually have a kid at Vassar right now and someone on this thread seems determined to keep coming back and making everything about "a lot of the male students are gay" etc. and trying to make it sound somehow scary for a straight male to attend there. Nothing said by those posters about the excellent academics or anything else that actually matters. So to dispense with this: Sure, there are plenty of LGBTQIA+ students. They exist at other SLACs too, or hadn't you heard? My kid's experience is that there is no "pressure to align" any way, sexually speaking. Students are smart enough to know that sexuality isn't something you "align" yourself into, it's something you're born with. At least one PP here seems to think people will be somehow "pressured" to turn gay, I guess. How...ill-informed.

DC knows and is friends with students of every description including, gasp!, straight students who date other straight students. I know, crazy, right?

Students are much more interested in which activities you do than in your sexual preferences. An earlier PP who is a Vassar alum has it right--a cappella is hot stuff. Still is, alum PP!

OP, since your son has friends there he knows much more about the school than some of the PPs on this thread. As another earlier PP said, a shy heterosexual boy who isn't into bro culture will be fine if he goes there. Plenty of other good options listed in some posts above, too. All the best to your son, wherever he goes.

So your DC is queer but knows some non-queer kids who are tolerated on campus ? I don’t think anyone is suggesting anyone is going to be converted into a gay but what percentage of the Vassar campus is straight male? 15 percent? And it’s probably mainly athletes who are there to focus on the education despite the weird campus culture. Like this was the highest ranked school they could get into. This is not your normal college environment - any straight male transfer student or potential applicant should proceed with eyes wide open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s better than NOT fighting capitalism.

You prefer despotism and poverty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

The OP’s son is at a school with a strong frat/bro culture so he has this idea that he wants to transfer to Vassar where he will instead be immersed in LGBTBDSM drug fueled orgy dungeon culture.

I once knew a young man who studied at Vasser, now she is still at Vasser.

Sure you do. You can't even spell the name of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

'

NP. I actually have a kid at Vassar right now and someone on this thread seems determined to keep coming back and making everything about "a lot of the male students are gay" etc. and trying to make it sound somehow scary for a straight male to attend there. Nothing said by those posters about the excellent academics or anything else that actually matters. So to dispense with this: Sure, there are plenty of LGBTQIA+ students. They exist at other SLACs too, or hadn't you heard? My kid's experience is that there is no "pressure to align" any way, sexually speaking. Students are smart enough to know that sexuality isn't something you "align" yourself into, it's something you're born with. At least one PP here seems to think people will be somehow "pressured" to turn gay, I guess. How...ill-informed.

DC knows and is friends with students of every description including, gasp!, straight students who date other straight students. I know, crazy, right?

Students are much more interested in which activities you do than in your sexual preferences. An earlier PP who is a Vassar alum has it right--a cappella is hot stuff. Still is, alum PP!

OP, since your son has friends there he knows much more about the school than some of the PPs on this thread. As another earlier PP said, a shy heterosexual boy who isn't into bro culture will be fine if he goes there. Plenty of other good options listed in some posts above, too. All the best to your son, wherever he goes.

So your DC is queer but knows some non-queer kids who are tolerated on campus ? I don’t think anyone is suggesting anyone is going to be converted into a gay but what percentage of the Vassar campus is straight male? 15 percent? And it’s probably mainly athletes who are there to focus on the education despite the weird campus culture. Like this was the highest ranked school they could get into. This is not your normal college environment - any straight male transfer student or potential applicant should proceed with eyes wide open.

Caught you. Nowhere do I say whether my own kid is queer or straight or anything else, but you leaped quickly to make assumptions which fit your agenda. Maybe work on reading comprehension.

You've warned the OP sufficiently now, I'm sure, and OP and her kid, who has friends at Vassar already, will know to treat your warnings with exactly as much attention as they deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

'

NP. I actually have a kid at Vassar right now and someone on this thread seems determined to keep coming back and making everything about "a lot of the male students are gay" etc. and trying to make it sound somehow scary for a straight male to attend there. Nothing said by those posters about the excellent academics or anything else that actually matters. So to dispense with this: Sure, there are plenty of LGBTQIA+ students. They exist at other SLACs too, or hadn't you heard? My kid's experience is that there is no "pressure to align" any way, sexually speaking. Students are smart enough to know that sexuality isn't something you "align" yourself into, it's something you're born with. At least one PP here seems to think people will be somehow "pressured" to turn gay, I guess. How...ill-informed.

DC knows and is friends with students of every description including, gasp!, straight students who date other straight students. I know, crazy, right?

Students are much more interested in which activities you do than in your sexual preferences. An earlier PP who is a Vassar alum has it right--a cappella is hot stuff. Still is, alum PP!

OP, since your son has friends there he knows much more about the school than some of the PPs on this thread. As another earlier PP said, a shy heterosexual boy who isn't into bro culture will be fine if he goes there. Plenty of other good options listed in some posts above, too. All the best to your son, wherever he goes.

So your DC is queer but knows some non-queer kids who are tolerated on campus ? I don’t think anyone is suggesting anyone is going to be converted into a gay but what percentage of the Vassar campus is straight male? 15 percent? And it’s probably mainly athletes who are there to focus on the education despite the weird campus culture. Like this was the highest ranked school they could get into. This is not your normal college environment - any straight male transfer student or potential applicant should proceed with eyes wide open.

Caught you. Nowhere do I say whether my own kid is queer or straight or anything else, but you leaped quickly to make assumptions which fit your agenda. Maybe work on reading comprehension.

You've warned the OP sufficiently now, I'm sure, and OP and her kid, who has friends at Vassar already, will know to treat your warnings with exactly as much attention as they deserve.

I inferred it, tentatively, from the statement that DC knows straight students. This would be an odd thing to say if DC were straight. You didn’t catch anything.

Look, if someone wants to send their kid to a school that has the lowest male student body of any coed LAC, with a reputation for being heavily LGBT, go ahead. One should just not pretend this isn’t the case. I am not anti gay but I wouldn’t ignore the fact that my son may be applying to the gayest school in the country. You are allowed to think about that

[Anonymous]

complete the application by the due date

[Anonymous]

Another current Vassar parent here. Some of the posts in this thread really have me scratching my head. They offer a very different view of the school than the one I have gotten.

Those considering Vassar should check out the College Confidential forums. Posters there have addressed concerns about whether straight, non-artsy, mainstream kids would fit in there. (The answer is "yes".)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another current Vassar parent here. Some of the posts in this thread really have me scratching my head. They offer a very different view of the school than the one I have gotten.

Those considering Vassar should check out the College Confidential forums. Posters there have addressed concerns about whether straight, non-artsy, mainstream kids would fit in there. (The answer is "yes".)

Seems like an odd thing though for it to be even a question of whether a straight person could fit in and function socially at this school.

It’s almost like asking if a white kid could attend Howard and the answer being, yeah sure.