Child wants to transfer to Vassar-advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

I would investigate with current students and recent grads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

I would investigate with current students and recent grads.

I graduated from Vassar nearly 20 years ago. Obviously it is different there now than it was back then, but it had the same reputation then. I am a hetereosexual woman who was not a partier in the least, and I found my people there. I had a boyfriend most of the time I was there who was pretty far from the stereotypes (e.g., into sports, not into partying). I would not be worried about a shy hetereosexual boy fitting in. There will be enough people like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

I would investigate with current students and recent grads.

I graduated from Vassar nearly 20 years ago. Obviously it is different there now than it was back then, but it had the same reputation then. I am a hetereosexual woman who was not a partier in the least, and I found my people there. I had a boyfriend most of the time I was there who was pretty far from the stereotypes (e.g., into sports, not into partying). I would not be worried about a shy hetereosexual boy fitting in. There will be enough people like him.

But was the LGBT/drug subculture very prominent? Were half the men gay?

[Anonymous]

They do this research. They do all the work to make a transfer happen. It's proof they really want it. Often during the hard-work of applying and attending to all the details, they find ways to be more satisfied with where they are, instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

I would investigate with current students and recent grads.

I graduated from Vassar nearly 20 years ago. Obviously it is different there now than it was back then, but it had the same reputation then. I am a hetereosexual woman who was not a partier in the least, and I found my people there. I had a boyfriend most of the time I was there who was pretty far from the stereotypes (e.g., into sports, not into partying). I would not be worried about a shy hetereosexual boy fitting in. There will be enough people like him.

But was the LGBT/drug subculture very prominent? Were half the men gay?

Just the lower half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

Consider Northwestern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

I would investigate with current students and recent grads.

I graduated from Vassar nearly 20 years ago. Obviously it is different there now than it was back then, but it had the same reputation then. I am a hetereosexual woman who was not a partier in the least, and I found my people there. I had a boyfriend most of the time I was there who was pretty far from the stereotypes (e.g., into sports, not into partying). I would not be worried about a shy hetereosexual boy fitting in. There will be enough people like him.

Same. I’m a bit younger than you but same. I had a boyfriend for most of my time at Vassar. I actually realized I was bi after Vassar but as a woman had no problem having a steady boyfriend during my time there. There were plenty of parties but they were fun and nerdy. Not like the Big 10 school I went to for grad school where it was frats and football all the time with no real tradition. A Capella was our frats, lol. You could find drugs if that was your thing but it wasn’t mine or my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all seriousness, there are a lot of gay/bi men there. It’s a former woman’s college. I would investigate with actual students. Nothing wrong with this but it’s going to be different. I get avoiding frat bro scene but this is maximum other direction. Hard pressed to imagine a gayer college (other than perhaps an art school)

It hasn't been a women's college for over 50 years at this point, time to get past that. And we don't think that way about most former men's colleges.

A former woman’s college is always going to have a dominantly feminine culture. Schools like Vassar and Sarah Lawrence remain predominantly female, more so than peers. Former men’s colleges embody masculine values and virtues. One of the reasons Vassar is so progressive, in the sense of free speech and robust dialogue being restricted, is that women are often more concerned about inclusivity than the rugged pursuit of truth. This isn’t me acting like Archie Bunker but rather the result of survey work: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-antisocial-psychologist/202104/the-gender-gap-in-censorship-support?amp

If my child wanted to apply to Vassar, I would refuse to pay for it. Plenty of better choices out there. The drug culture also bothers me- I was peripherally aware of the alternative/LGBT drug scene back in the 90s. Lots of synthetics which is scary in the context of fentanyl contamination. We aren’t talking about dead heads smoking joints here. A friend of a friend who was part of that scene at another NY state school ended up dying in the streets of Manhattan. If it makes Vassar folks feel any better I also know a Wes grad who died of a few years ago of drug related issues in his 50s

So caveat emptor with that Vassar transfer app.

How true is that though vs rumor? I’m trying to get my shy, heterosexual rather mainstream DS, who is not in any way a partier, to look at Vassar. I liked that it sounds kind of low key and nerdy in terms if they social scene and it’s strong in the academic areas of interest. I’ve known people that went there, but years ago, and they were more quiet and nerdy and not into drugs or even drinking.

I would investigate with current students and recent grads.

I graduated from Vassar nearly 20 years ago. Obviously it is different there now than it was back then, but it had the same reputation then. I am a hetereosexual woman who was not a partier in the least, and I found my people there. I had a boyfriend most of the time I was there who was pretty far from the stereotypes (e.g., into sports, not into partying). I would not be worried about a shy hetereosexual boy fitting in. There will be enough people like him.

But was the LGBT/drug subculture very prominent? Were half the men gay?

There were gay men, sure. There were gay women, too. The rugby girls were intense. But if you were straight you did just fine

[Anonymous]

DC’s first choice was Vassar. They got rejected - ended up at Muhlenberg College and has been VERY happy there. It’s much less selective so might be a good fit if Vassar and schools of similar ranking don’t work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

The OP’s son is at a school with a strong frat/bro culture so he has this idea that he wants to transfer to Vassar where he will instead be immersed in LGBTBDSM drug fueled orgy dungeon culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

The OP’s son is at a school with a strong frat/bro culture so he has this idea that he wants to transfer to Vassar where he will instead be immersed in LGBTBDSM drug fueled orgy dungeon culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

The OP’s son is at a school with a strong frat/bro culture so he has this idea that he wants to transfer to Vassar where he will instead be immersed in LGBTBDSM drug fueled orgy dungeon culture.

I once knew a young man who studied at Vasser, now she is still at Vasser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford, apply and try your luck. What he doesn't like about his current school?

Very large, very very bro/frat culture. Has found a solid friend group and is involved in lots of activities. Not miserable at all but just feels that Vassar or similar would be a better fit.

Bro / frat culture? I read that a lot of the male students are gay or bisexual and there is pressure to align in that way.

'

NP. I actually have a kid at Vassar right now and someone on this thread seems determined to keep coming back and making everything about "a lot of the male students are gay" etc. and trying to make it sound somehow scary for a straight male to attend there. Nothing said by those posters about the excellent academics or anything else that actually matters. So to dispense with this: Sure, there are plenty of LGBTQIA+ students. They exist at other SLACs too, or hadn't you heard? My kid's experience is that there is no "pressure to align" any way, sexually speaking. Students are smart enough to know that sexuality isn't something you "align" yourself into, it's something you're born with. At least one PP here seems to think people will be somehow "pressured" to turn gay, I guess. How...ill-informed.

DC knows and is friends with students of every description including, gasp!, straight students who date other straight students. I know, crazy, right?

Students are much more interested in which activities you do than in your sexual preferences. An earlier PP who is a Vassar alum has it right--a cappella is hot stuff. Still is, alum PP!

OP, since your son has friends there he knows much more about the school than some of the PPs on this thread. As another earlier PP said, a shy heterosexual boy who isn't into bro culture will be fine if he goes there. Plenty of other good options listed in some posts above, too. All the best to your son, wherever he goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC’s first choice was Vassar. They got rejected - ended up at Muhlenberg College and has been VERY happy there. It’s much less selective so might be a good fit if Vassar and schools of similar ranking don’t work out.

A friend's daughter is at Muhlenberg (her first choice) and really likes it there too.