Why don't parents understand that their kids lie and/or misrepresent things?

[Anonymous]

NP.

I made the mistake of believing a teacher over my kid. When I realized she was lying, and kept lying, and kept taking it out on my kid when I made a fuss about it- I realized that this teacher was used to getting away with it.

This woman destroyed my kid's love of learning.

It's unfortunate, since the vast majority of teachers are idealists and do a wonderful job.

[Anonymous]

I usually believe the teacher about my kids about 95% of the time. I do hear from my kids crazy stories about teachers lying about and being petty to other students. Once my son recounted perfectly a conversation with a teacher cussing at a kid as a joke when he was in 1st grade. It's not one or the other lying, it's both, in an environment that inevitably breeds that brand of human nature.

[Anonymous]

We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

You aren’t the teacher’s boss. No, the pittance of your property taxes that goes directly to public education doesn’t make it so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what is is teachers get out of posting anonymously here to bash parents. It is not a good look for your profession, as you can see from the responses.

No, the responses are predictable and are precisely what OP is talking about. Excuse after excuse after excuse for their perfect little angels who can do no wrong. Welcome to DCUM.

That's not at all what I see in the responses, I see a lot of stories of teachers who were caught lying.

[Anonymous]

I have always had great relationships with teachers until last year. My child’s 3rd grade teacher was a terrible communicator, somewhat incompetent, and was struggling at a new school in a class with a few difficult kids. Her inability to manage the classroom made the situation worse and was driving a lot of the behavior problems. The school was aware that she was in over her head and trying to help her. She was caught lying repeatedly and it was clear she was doing it to save herself from embarrassment.

I don’t just believe the teacher or the kid. I hear both sides, look at all evidence, look at both sides motivation, and make an informed decision as to what makes sense. It is always specific to facts. I don’t just believe the teacher because they are an adult. Adults lie all the time. I do give teachers the benefit of the doubt unless I’m given evidence to suggest I shouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

You aren’t the teacher’s boss. No, the pittance of your property taxes that goes directly to public education doesn’t make it so.

Half of property taxes go to public education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

You aren’t the teacher’s boss. No, the pittance of your property taxes that goes directly to public education doesn’t make it so.

This has nothing to do with being the teacher's boss or property taxes. This has to do with a teacher working with parents to support their students and get their student's needs met. You don't get it. If a child is struggling as a teacher you need to step up and help or get someone else to. What kind of person lets kids struggle and fail and not care? Yes, they have a lot to do and lots of students but that's why they need to work with parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

I'll give two examples of dirty tricks that teachers play on the kids when they really don't want a child to do well. Why do they do it? Who knows.

One is jack-in-the-box grading. The teacher 'forgets' to grade a few high point assignments at the beginning of the Q. Everything looks good on mid-terms so it flies under the radar of the AP/P and parents. Towards the end of the Q, it's SURPRISE!!!

Another is just outright changing grades. That one is easier to catch since it leaves a trail.

I've seen both happen, by specific teachers, and it's uncommon. Those types of people are just evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

I'll give two examples of dirty tricks that teachers play on the kids when they really don't want a child to do well. Why do they do it? Who knows.

One is jack-in-the-box grading. The teacher 'forgets' to grade a few high point assignments at the beginning of the Q. Everything looks good on mid-terms so it flies under the radar of the AP/P and parents. Towards the end of the Q, it's SURPRISE!!!

Another is just outright changing grades. That one is easier to catch since it leaves a trail.

I've seen both happen, by specific teachers, and it's uncommon. Those types of people are just evil.

We have this with one teacher. It's really frustrating and kid is getting a much lower grade than deserved. Kid is frustrated and gave up in that class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

You aren’t the teacher’s boss. No, the pittance of your property taxes that goes directly to public education doesn’t make it so.

Expecting professional behavior from a group who demand to be treated like professionals shouldn't be an enormous ask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's very hard to tell what goes on at school. I'm sure kids lie, but I also think kids don't disclose things that impact them like bullying. Also kids who report they "hate" school who appear to be totally fine when you actually see them there! Very easy to take your kid too seriously. But then again, what if they are actually miserable?

it's never easy to understand your child's experience at school.

+1 My kid did not disclose that he was being kept in at recess. Or that kids were picking on him. Or how often he was being sent to the office. SN student who the homeroom teacher just did not want to deal with. Yet, we were being stonewalled on the IEP front by the administration because he was "smart, but just made poor choices in the classroom." So yes, there are sometimes believability issues on both sides, sadly, and it is frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last week, another teacher and I caught a student in a pretty big lie that relied on playing us off each other. He was genuinely surprised that we talked to each other instead of just believing him. Then, he was even more surprised he was in trouble “just for lying”.

If you are a teacher, please tell me that you realize that the period goes inside of the quotation marks, "just for lying."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's very hard to tell what goes on at school. I'm sure kids lie, but I also think kids don't disclose things that impact them like bullying. Also kids who report they "hate" school who appear to be totally fine when you actually see them there! Very easy to take your kid too seriously. But then again, what if they are actually miserable?

it's never easy to understand your child's experience at school.

+1 My kid did not disclose that he was being kept in at recess. Or that kids were picking on him. Or how often he was being sent to the office. SN student who the homeroom teacher just did not want to deal with. Yet, we were being stonewalled on the IEP front by the administration because he was "smart, but just made poor choices in the classroom." So yes, there are sometimes believability issues on both sides, sadly, and it is frustrating.

They did this to my kid in ES too. Kept them for a week for lunch and recess. A group of kids did something per the school but it was retaliation on me as she didn't actually do it as I just pulled the IEP as it wasn't helpful and we were tired of fighting. They needed the numbers to justify a special education teacher and was trying to bully me into keeping it when it had zero benefit for my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had kids lie and we've had teachers lie, it goes both ways. We've had great teachers, ok and really really bad.

However, what would help is you as a teacher communicating through regular emails. If you have an issue with my kid, reach out and let me know. If they are not doing the work, reach out and let me know. We will handle it.

But, also do your part. Grade things on time so we know what's going on and what needs improvement. Put assignments in the proper location online so we can find them to make sure they get done on time. When kids reach out for extra help, return emails. When parents email, return emails. When kids try to ask for help in class, help and don't ignore them.

I'll give two examples of dirty tricks that teachers play on the kids when they really don't want a child to do well. Why do they do it? Who knows.

One is jack-in-the-box grading. The teacher 'forgets' to grade a few high point assignments at the beginning of the Q. Everything looks good on mid-terms so it flies under the radar of the AP/P and parents. Towards the end of the Q, it's SURPRISE!!!

Another is just outright changing grades. That one is easier to catch since it leaves a trail.

I've seen both happen, by specific teachers, and it's uncommon. Those types of people are just evil.

We have this with one teacher. It's really frustrating and kid is getting a much lower grade than deserved. Kid is frustrated and gave up in that class.

I didn’t even think that was the type of “lying” being discussed here. My kid had a teacher who provided an extremely detailed rubric for every assignment and then didn’t follow it - adding random other extremely picky requirements that she didn’t communicate at all and marking kids down for not meeting them.