Told by christian friend that my lifelong depression is because I don’t “know Jesus”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. Meant to add the question: could this be true. I’m sometimes thinking that I’m being punished because medications don’t work or I have to stop them due to side effects, therapy hasn’t helped much, and I’m just suffering so much and wonder if I’m just being punished. Then sometimes I think that’s ridiculous , but I don’t know what to think and it sounds wrong to me what she says , but not thinking clearly when very depressed is making this more difficult .

OMG no OP just please stop.

Tell your "friend" to take a hike she is not your friend she's a freak

[Anonymous]

She’s not your friend and that ain’t Christian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’d just ghost her. Typically evangelical “Christian”.

As many on this thread have noted, what OP's former friend is saying and believing are not typical at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I’d just ghost her. Typically evangelical “Christian”.

As many on this thread have noted, what OP's former friend is saying and believing are not typical at all.

+1

Open Brethren are not typical evangelical Christians. Open Brethren are very insular and I doubt very much op is friends with an Open Brethren. I doubt an Open Brethren adherent is a texting friend with someone who is not Open Brethren. That’s quite a story.

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t care less if anyone believes me or not. They are not EXCLUSIVE brethren , but open and they mix with the outside world and use technology etc. perhaps they are looser than some people in that sect but everything I’ve written is true. Believe me I sometimes wonder how I couldn’t have known how extreme they are compared to regular born again Christians for a long time. I thought it was quaint that they never went to church and only worshipped in their home etc.

Either way,..as is typical or dcum if something is “out there” it must be a troll. I even have several of their publications that she used to send me.

Thanks to those that were kind about my depression question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn’t care less if anyone believes me or not. They are not EXCLUSIVE brethren , but open and they mix with the outside world and use technology etc. perhaps they are looser than some people in that sect but everything I’ve written is true. Believe me I sometimes wonder how I couldn’t have known how extreme they are compared to regular born again Christians for a long time. I thought it was quaint that they never went to church and only worshipped in their home etc.

Either way,..as is typical or dcum if something is “out there” it must be a troll. I even have several of their publications that she used to send me.

Thanks to those that were kind about my depression question

You are more invested in attacking/blaming your friend than dealing with your 50 years of depression. I sympathize; depression is pervasive and stubborn. However: it is not your friend’s fault or God’s fault.

You recognize you are clinically depressed. You are a Christian, but won’t have an honest conversation with your pastor to relieve yourself of the grievous misconception that God “punishes” people with mental or physical illness?

Evangelical and Fundamentalist and Catholic and Baptist people take depression and anxiety medication, seek therapy and counseling, treat all chronic health conditions. They do not withhold any medical treatments or medications from themselves or their families.

There are outliers on both sides; some extremely liberal, hippie, organic, vegan types don’t use medications or doctors. Several vegan families have made national news for the deaths of their infants, as they refuse to supplement with formula, refuse to take their children to doctors for medical treatment, refuse to give antibiotics. I saw a news article about a child who died because their vegan parents only fed them oranges and other fruits. Infants can’t survive on fruit. I personally knew a neighbor (growing up) that was sure raw food and raw juice were the secrets to health. He thought health care and medication and doctors were scams and especially antibiotics and vaccines poison. His 13 year old son developed strep throat. Instead of taking him to the doctor and getting him needed antibiotics, he and his wife treated the kid with raw juice, made him swallow raw chopped garlic, made him swallow bentonite clay, and taped slices of garlic to his feet while he slept. After the kid used up all his sick days, they took him to a natural healer, who sold them a bunch of compounded weird herbs. That night he struggled to breathe because his throat was so swollen from the strep, they rushed him to the ER and a pediatric ENT had to be called in to insert a needle and syringe into his throat and 3 huge tubes of pure pus were removed. The doctor said he needed IV antibiotics and the dad fought the idea. He said it was poison. Finally, the wife/mom (who related this entire saga to my mom and ended up divorcing him and getting full custody) stood up for her son and he received IV antibiotics and recovered. They were not religiously affiliated in the slightest.

Op: God doesn’t punish any person with physical or mental illness. You really need to stop focusing on your friend and learn about the religion you profess to believe, while also accessing mental health services.

[Anonymous]

This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

yeah, it’s the woman’s fault op has had clinical depression for 5 decades and thinks God is punishing her and uses his power to make her medication not work.

Op seems like she is totally invested in blaming other people and making excuses. Depression, especially long term clinical depression, can be extremely hard for us to deal with and professionals to successfully treat. However, op knows she’s depressed. She is blaming God and her friend. (ex-friend, hopefully.) However, it’s not God’s fault nor her friend’s fault. Her ex-friend is not a health care professional. After how many years of op complaining about God punishing her with depression, can you really blame the friend for suggesting something that may have worked for her or others she knows?

Op, enough with the blame. What is your plan to deal with 5 decades of clinical depression?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry OP - this is extremely unhelpful and offensive.

I am a mainstream Christian and would be horrified if someone gave me or a loved one this advice,

She is not willing to sit with you in your pain and be a loving presence. And she is woefully ignorant of medical realities related to depression.

Nonetheless, I would say a few things to her.

1. Actually you have it backwards; I am not able to cultivate my faith and spiritual life until my medical team and I have figured out how best to manage my depression with the right medicine, exercise and cognitive talk therapy.

2. Would you tel someone with cancer or a degenerative musculoskeletal disease that their symptoms are caused by lack of faith? You do realize that depression is a complex but legitimate medical condition right?

3. Yiur insensitive commentary actually puts people off Jesus and religion in general. When you talk like this and don’t validate my suffering and experiences, I am not feeling the love of Jesus but the misguided judgment of a misinformed Christian.



However she may not have ears to hear but it would be an act of love on your part to help her to understand what a dufus she is being and how her commentary is backfiring from its intention. I doubt she is aware of how overbearing and insensitive she is being.

Best wishes managing your depression - it really does take a multi-pronged approach. Exercise can be just as affective as medicine if you find an aerobic exercise you enjoy. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (cognitive behavior therapy mixed with Eastern type mindfulness and present moment anchoring) helps many people also. May you find your inner joie du vivre once more.

OP here. Thank you. Regarding your #2...she actually has type 1 diabetes and never considers not using medicine and doctors to control that and deal with it. For some reason this sect of her religion and maybe all Christians (I'm not sure) only see MENTAL or PSYCHOLOGICAL issues in this light. It is somehow a failing, a lack of faith, a hole in my heart that I need to fill with Jesus, and they very specifically do NOT believe in psychotherapy and only believe in praying an emotional or mental problem away. I find it disgusting and disturbing honestly.

Thank you for your suggestions about DBT and exercise. I'm going to have to do something because it's been over 50 years of suffering and I cannot survive this much longer. The emotional distress and toll it's taken on my life is just too much.

ok, I’ve played along enough.

op, you think all Christians (you are not sure?) only see mental or psych issues in the light your “friend” does?

I have great sympathy for people struggling with mental health issues but op isn’t believable.

op: could you explain how you are a lifelong Christian, but think all Christians don’t use meds or see therapists, and believe God punishes people with mental and physical illness? You are either a troll or yourself not bright. But, you need to explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

yeah, it’s the woman’s fault op has had clinical depression for 5 decades and thinks God is punishing her and uses his power to make her medication not work.

Op seems like she is totally invested in blaming other people and making excuses. Depression, especially long term clinical depression, can be extremely hard for us to deal with and professionals to successfully treat. However, op knows she’s depressed. She is blaming God and her friend. (ex-friend, hopefully.) However, it’s not God’s fault nor her friend’s fault. Her ex-friend is not a health care professional. After how many years of op complaining about God punishing her with depression, can you really blame the friend for suggesting something that may have worked for her or others she knows?

Op, enough with the blame. What is your plan to deal with 5 decades of clinical depression?

I'm sorry, but your logic is wack. You say she is blaming God and her friend. It is the opposite. Her friend is blaming her.

I suspect that the friend has a very fragile world view, which would fall apart if there was evidence that faith can't keep us safe from all harm. Because OP's struggles threaten the friend's fragile worldview, she blames OP for not believing hard enough. You seem eager to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

yeah, it’s the woman’s fault op has had clinical depression for 5 decades and thinks God is punishing her and uses his power to make her medication not work.

Op seems like she is totally invested in blaming other people and making excuses. Depression, especially long term clinical depression, can be extremely hard for us to deal with and professionals to successfully treat. However, op knows she’s depressed. She is blaming God and her friend. (ex-friend, hopefully.) However, it’s not God’s fault nor her friend’s fault. Her ex-friend is not a health care professional. After how many years of op complaining about God punishing her with depression, can you really blame the friend for suggesting something that may have worked for her or others she knows?

Op, enough with the blame. What is your plan to deal with 5 decades of clinical depression?

I'm sorry, but your logic is wack. You say she is blaming God and her friend. It is the opposite. Her friend is blaming her.

I suspect that the friend has a very fragile world view, which would fall apart if there was evidence that faith can't keep us safe from all harm. Because OP's struggles threaten the friend's fragile worldview, she blames OP for not believing hard enough. You seem eager to do the same.

sure- let’s talk about the friend some more? You now are attacking the friend also, get a life,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

yeah, it’s the woman’s fault op has had clinical depression for 5 decades and thinks God is punishing her and uses his power to make her medication not work.

Op seems like she is totally invested in blaming other people and making excuses. Depression, especially long term clinical depression, can be extremely hard for us to deal with and professionals to successfully treat. However, op knows she’s depressed. She is blaming God and her friend. (ex-friend, hopefully.) However, it’s not God’s fault nor her friend’s fault. Her ex-friend is not a health care professional. After how many years of op complaining about God punishing her with depression, can you really blame the friend for suggesting something that may have worked for her or others she knows?

Op, enough with the blame. What is your plan to deal with 5 decades of clinical depression?

I'm sorry, but your logic is wack. You say she is blaming God and her friend. It is the opposite. Her friend is blaming her.

I suspect that the friend has a very fragile world view, which would fall apart if there was evidence that faith can't keep us safe from all harm. Because OP's struggles threaten the friend's fragile worldview, she blames OP for not believing hard enough. You seem eager to do the same.

sure- let’s talk about the friend some more? You now are attacking the friend also, get a life,

It's not attacking to discuss a person's actions which are causing confusion and harm, and to guess at what might be behind them. It's offering support for the OP, who is struggling to see through her friend's toxic paradigm. Again, this ties into fragility. The more emotionally healthy you are, the less likely you are to conflate an analysis with an attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

yeah, it’s the woman’s fault op has had clinical depression for 5 decades and thinks God is punishing her and uses his power to make her medication not work.

Op seems like she is totally invested in blaming other people and making excuses. Depression, especially long term clinical depression, can be extremely hard for us to deal with and professionals to successfully treat. However, op knows she’s depressed. She is blaming God and her friend. (ex-friend, hopefully.) However, it’s not God’s fault nor her friend’s fault. Her ex-friend is not a health care professional. After how many years of op complaining about God punishing her with depression, can you really blame the friend for suggesting something that may have worked for her or others she knows?

Op, enough with the blame. What is your plan to deal with 5 decades of clinical depression?

I'm sorry, but your logic is wack. You say she is blaming God and her friend. It is the opposite. Her friend is blaming her.

I suspect that the friend has a very fragile world view, which would fall apart if there was evidence that faith can't keep us safe from all harm. Because OP's struggles threaten the friend's fragile worldview, she blames OP for not believing hard enough. You seem eager to do the same.

sure- let’s talk about the friend some more? You now are attacking the friend also, get a life,

It's not attacking to discuss a person's actions which are causing confusion and harm, and to guess at what might be behind them. It's offering support for the OP, who is struggling to see through her friend's toxic paradigm. Again, this ties into fragility. The more emotionally healthy you are, the less likely you are to conflate an analysis with an attack.

op has been depressed for 50 years…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman is giving me MLM vibes. Imagine if instead of Jesus, she was telling you that you're depressed because you're not using essential oils. She's obviously falling in a logical trap wherein a person cannot have any sort of struggle or else their faith isn't strong enough. That's ridiculous. Medical conditions are not punishment from God for lack of faith. Is that really the kind of world you believe we live in?

Honestly, friends who victim-blame are less than useless. As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies . . .

yeah, it’s the woman’s fault op has had clinical depression for 5 decades and thinks God is punishing her and uses his power to make her medication not work.

Op seems like she is totally invested in blaming other people and making excuses. Depression, especially long term clinical depression, can be extremely hard for us to deal with and professionals to successfully treat. However, op knows she’s depressed. She is blaming God and her friend. (ex-friend, hopefully.) However, it’s not God’s fault nor her friend’s fault. Her ex-friend is not a health care professional. After how many years of op complaining about God punishing her with depression, can you really blame the friend for suggesting something that may have worked for her or others she knows?

Op, enough with the blame. What is your plan to deal with 5 decades of clinical depression?

I'm sorry, but your logic is wack. You say she is blaming God and her friend. It is the opposite. Her friend is blaming her.

I suspect that the friend has a very fragile world view, which would fall apart if there was evidence that faith can't keep us safe from all harm. Because OP's struggles threaten the friend's fragile worldview, she blames OP for not believing hard enough. You seem eager to do the same.

op is a lifelong Christian who doesn’t know God doesn’t use physical or mental pain to punish us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again. Meant to add the question: could this be true. I’m sometimes thinking that I’m being punished because medications don’t work or I have to stop them due to side effects, therapy hasn’t helped much, and I’m just suffering so much and wonder if I’m just being punished. Then sometimes I think that’s ridiculous , but I don’t know what to think and it sounds wrong to me what she says , but not thinking clearly when very depressed is making this more difficult .

Christian here and no, God does not punish! You can be saved through mercy and Grace. You are loved.

Depression is mental illness.

It is definitely true, though, that Jesus and God help me find and see the joy in life, and my life is happier after finding Jesus. But it did not cure my depression.

Isn’t the Bible chock full of stories about god punishing?

God no longer punishes us for our sin because Jesus took that punishment.

God doesn’t punish us with illness, mental or physical.

This. Jesus instituted a new covenant where punishment of all types--physical, mental--ended, by taking our sins on himself. The fact that OP is a lifelong Christian yet she doesn't understand this is the second thing she needs to fix. The first being, addressing her depression with a good therapist and meds as needed.