Why did I trust her? No apps done!!!!

[Anonymous]

She needs a gap year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a counselor. This process can be overwhelming, even for students with strong EF skills. I'm surprised parents leave it all to their 17 year old students to navigate. They need an adult to help guide them, whether that is a parent, counselor or other role model.

Obviously, parents of kids with known executive function problems need to adjust for that. Executive function disability is the hidden catastrophe of our time.

For kids who are reasonably well-organized: I think the best approach here is that parents who understand the FAFSA process should fill the financial aid forms on their own, proactively, and maybe set the state flagship and a non-selective state school as the default recipients, because dealing with FAFSA firms is really the parents’ job.

And I think it’s fair for parents who can afford to send their kids to small, non-selective private schools, “Would you like us to send a financial aid application to [non-selective private school] as a backup?”

Getting financial aid forms in early might be critical to helping kids recover and avoid having an involuntary gap year.

But students with OK executive function ought to take responsibility for sending in the actual admissions applications themselves, because that’s a great college readiness screening. College is all about reading, preparing for tests and meeting administrative deadlines on your own. If kids really can’t do that, parents should address the organization problems before pushing the kids into college.

If kids notice they’re off track Dec. 31 and shift to applying to schools with later deadlines, maybe that means they can get their act together. But, if they really want to go to college, know about schools with late deadlines and can’t meet the late deadlines, that’s a bad sign.

Do you actually work with post-COVID 17 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend had not started any applications by this time our senior year. I sat down with him and worked him through it and edited his essay. He went to Stanford. The key was that he has talked to professors to get his recommendation on time, though. I basically did the sections where you lost activities and awards for him and nixed his first couple essay ideas. Fwiw, he did fine at Stanford. He has some anxiety around actually sitting down to do something. The funny part is that I’m the one with ADHd.l, not him.

That’s all to say that I think this is do-able, OP, if you help her get organized and sit her down to do it. Rome wasn’t built in a day but lots of decent essays have been written in a day.

Where did you go to school? Sounds like YOU got admitted to Stanford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend had not started any applications by this time our senior year. I sat down with him and worked him through it and edited his essay. He went to Stanford. The key was that he has talked to professors to get his recommendation on time, though. I basically did the sections where you lost activities and awards for him and nixed his first couple essay ideas. Fwiw, he did fine at Stanford. He has some anxiety around actually sitting down to do something. The funny part is that I’m the one with ADHd.l, not him.

That’s all to say that I think this is do-able, OP, if you help her get organized and sit her down to do it. Rome wasn’t built in a day but lots of decent essays have been written in a day.

My thought is that too much emphasis is placed on writing perfect, clever essays of publishable quality when one day of clear headed writing is all that is needed.

[Anonymous]

No use crying over it now. Work out a plan with her to get each section done and a time allotment. Then check on her. It can be done. I know my kid and there is no way he could’ve done this alone. It’s a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not think you should rush in to rescue her. She needs to attend community college for a semester or year and get her act together for the next. This is not your issue to fix.

WTH…ignore this advice and help her as much as you can. OP, you know your child, you should have checked in at key points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll take an opposite approach here. Yes - line up the apps by due date. Make sure all the high school requests like transcripts are in by Tuesday if not done yet. Hopefully she requested her LORs. If not, some publics don’t require. I’d look at all the supplements and do some research to give to DD to work off of. With someone helping, she may be less overwhelmed, which may be the issue.

+1 This is what I made my DC do back in August. Made DC put a list of schools, their deadlines -- whether EA, ED or RD -- on the spreadsheet. We worked together to get the date of notification, date of when acceptances are due, cost, whether they provide merit aide.

I heard stories about how LoR came in late, teachers overwhelmed, so I made sure DC asked *early* for that LoR.

FAFSA and CSS are also a PITA to fill out, and these have to be done by the parent.

[Anonymous]

I know this will be my DD if I'm not on top of her, so I will be. OP, you know your child, could you not have predicted this?

Also, if she goes to CC for one year, it's not the end of the world. It might be the wake up call she needs.

- Parent of a 9th grader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess her first semester will be spent at the local CC or working. Don’t bail her out. She needs to experience the consequences of procrastination.

.+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not think you should rush in to rescue her. She needs to attend community college for a semester or year and get her act together for the next. This is not your issue to fix.

WTH…ignore this advice and help her as much as you can. OP, you know your child, you should have checked in at key points.

Wrong wrong wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll take an opposite approach here. Yes - line up the apps by due date. Make sure all the high school requests like transcripts are in by Tuesday if not done yet. Hopefully she requested her LORs. If not, some publics don’t require. I’d look at all the supplements and do some research to give to DD to work off of. With someone helping, she may be less overwhelmed, which may be the issue.

+1 This is what I made my DC do back in August. Made DC put a list of schools, their deadlines -- whether EA, ED or RD -- on the spreadsheet. We worked together to get the date of notification, date of when acceptances are due, cost, whether they provide merit aide.

I heard stories about how LoR came in late, teachers overwhelmed, so I made sure DC asked *early* for that LoR.

FAFSA and CSS are also a PITA to fill out, and these have to be done by the parent.

My DD is a procrastinator so we did the same thing! The college application process can be overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a list of schools with Feb deadlines.

It includes Pace, Ohio State, Sewanee, Drew, Dickinson, Gettysburg, DePaul, CSU, College of Wooster, Towson.

There are even decent schools with March deadlines, like Temple, Lewis & Clark,

https://writingcenterofprinceton.com/colleges-with-late-application-deadlines/

This is a great list. Surprised at the number of colleges & universities with August deadlines.

Maybe your student will wake-up when the early January deadlines pass.

+1 There are some very solid schools here. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

My DDs roommate wrote her UVA essay the evening it was due and got in. That said, mine had theirs done and their ED app in my October 1st

[Anonymous]

Me, a senior in high school in front of the tv watching Doug Flutie in the Cotton Bowl, New Year’s Day, 1985. My mom, “Aren’t you going to fill out your Stanford application?” Me, “nah!” She tells me to copy an essay from another app. I fill the application out, hand-writing the essay. We get my friend’s dad to backdate the postage at his office. My mom drives into Boston to mail it, since the post office there was open till midnight. In April, I get in! The rest is history. Thanks, mom!

[Anonymous]

OP, I have procrastinators too. My kid cried the day before the early deadlines a couple of years ago (mid-covid, yeah there were some delays in development). Nothing was ready.

Time for a quick sit-down at the kitchen table with the computer. Go over the list with deadlines together. Offer to do any clerical parts. Offer to read over essays and suggest edits - google docs comes in handy here. Have her write in google docs and share the doc for your comments. Or offer to have some other trusted adult read over the essays (dad, aunt/uncle, family friend, etc), someone who can give quick feedback.

I agree with the PP who suggested that getting the first app in is a big hurdle - then the Common App is done, and the remaining apps merely involve supplemental essays.

While she is working on essays, check the school websites to see if any require an official score report before admission (vs self-reporting test scores in app). Get those ordered.

By the way, my son who literally cried at the thought of writing essays the day before they were due for several apps is now mid-way through an engineering degree and doing fine. Ignore the trolls and focus on the task at hand. You aren't the only one in this situation - it will be ok.