Why did I trust her? No apps done!!!!

[Anonymous]

There’s still time.
Let her take tomorrow off. Today she’ll work on the essay. Tomorrow she will apply for those universities Roth January 4 deadline. There are many others with later deadlines that sh we can apply over the weekend. Look over her essay. She can even include something about procrastinating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did all my kids apps.

Why?

Relax - it doesn't necessarily make the applications better. No offense to the parents who do it. But admissions officers can spot ultra-polished essays, and wonder about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to purchase a home or condo in your DC's college town so you can continue the hand holding and hovering. You'll also likely become the type of hovering, interfering, giving advice in-laws that are so frequently criticized on this forum.

How old are your children?

late 30's

This is why I asked. You have absolutely no clue about what the process is. It is completely different. And you’re dealing with kids who are reporting double the amount of mental health issues than when your kids were in high school. The “tough love” approach you’re espousing is not the fix you think it is. Believe me, I am a 56 year old who set up her own college interviews and pretty much did everything without my parents. My spouse and I are very much about empowering our kids to take responsibility. AND the landscape is very different now.

-parent of a 21 & 17 year old

Common App and Computers/internet make it infintily easier than it was when I went through the process, typing applications and essays, not word processing so if you re-purposed an essay, you had to type it directly on to the application form, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np - with younger children so I don’t know the process anymore. How is it so different than when we went to college? How can you expect the kids to succeed in college when they can’t even do their own applications?

The common app streamlines some of the process, but as a result, many competitive colleges have supplemental essays. I applied to 5 colleges - I think two had essays, the rest did not. a kid with good grades and good sat scores would get into a competitive college when I applied (early 90s). Now it is much harder to predict so kids apply to a greater number of colleges - so let’s say 12 (which may be on the low end). You write your common app essay. Let’s say 8 of the schools have supplemental essays - so another 10-15 or so essays depending on how the school sets up their supplemental. Plus many schools consider demonstrated interest so you need to do some magic combo of visiting, watching online programs, meeting reps when the come to the area, following on Instagram, signing up for new apps, emailing the admissions rep, creating a video, and then applying Ed or ea. given the number of applications for Ed or ea, you could be deferred so then you have to write letters of continuing interest to any school where you have been deferred. This is all while managing your normal course load, sports and other ecs. No one is saying it can’t be done, but it is a lot more time consuming that it was in the early 90s with a lot less predictability which makes it harder on the kids.

TY for the explanation of the differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to purchase a home or condo in your DC's college town so you can continue the hand holding and hovering. You'll also likely become the type of hovering, interfering, giving advice in-laws that are so frequently criticized on this forum.

How old are your children?

late 30's

This is why I asked. You have absolutely no clue about what the process is. It is completely different. And you’re dealing with kids who are reporting double the amount of mental health issues than when your kids were in high school. The “tough love” approach you’re espousing is not the fix you think it is. Believe me, I am a 56 year old who set up her own college interviews and pretty much did everything without my parents. My spouse and I are very much about empowering our kids to take responsibility. AND the landscape is very different now.

-parent of a 21 & 17 year old

Common App and Computers/internet make it infintily easier than it was when I went through the process, typing applications and essays, not word processing so if you re-purposed an essay, you had to type it directly on to the application form, etc.

. I am not saying your essay was like JFK’s essay for Harvard, but I expect as a whole the essays kids submit today are better written than those written 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

OP here; we sat down together after reading some of the more supportive posts on here (THANK YOU)..thankfully she had asked 3 teachers for recommendations early this school year and those are in her common app, as well as the counselor report. She does work best under pressure but good grief she almost gave me a heart attack. Five schools down, she will be staying home tomorrow until her last 4 are in. I have read her essays and they are really good - ever meet those people that can naturally write and BS? Her stats are good as well; she says she just hit a wall and crashed hard. She was planning on doing them bit by bit but obviously that did not happen.
Thank you again to all of the supportive posters and for those who deemed her not ready for college you should realize that everyone’s situation and child is different. She was responsible enough to get her transcripts uploaded to the common app and her SAT scores sent ages ago so I am proud of her for that. What a way to start the New Year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here; we sat down together after reading some of the more supportive posts on here (THANK YOU)..thankfully she had asked 3 teachers for recommendations early this school year and those are in her common app, as well as the counselor report. She does work best under pressure but good grief she almost gave me a heart attack. Five schools down, she will be staying home tomorrow until her last 4 are in. I have read her essays and they are really good - ever meet those people that can naturally write and BS? Her stats are good as well; she says she just hit a wall and crashed hard. She was planning on doing them bit by bit but obviously that did not happen.
Thank you again to all of the supportive posters and for those who deemed her not ready for college you should realize that everyone’s situation and child is different. She was responsible enough to get her transcripts uploaded to the common app and her SAT scores sent ages ago so I am proud of her for that. What a way to start the New Year.

Great news. Thank you for updating. Good luck to her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here; we sat down together after reading some of the more supportive posts on here (THANK YOU)..thankfully she had asked 3 teachers for recommendations early this school year and those are in her common app, as well as the counselor report. She does work best under pressure but good grief she almost gave me a heart attack. Five schools down, she will be staying home tomorrow until her last 4 are in. I have read her essays and they are really good - ever meet those people that can naturally write and BS? Her stats are good as well; she says she just hit a wall and crashed hard. She was planning on doing them bit by bit but obviously that did not happen.
Thank you again to all of the supportive posters and for those who deemed her not ready for college you should realize that everyone’s situation and child is different. She was responsible enough to get her transcripts uploaded to the common app and her SAT scores sent ages ago so I am proud of her for that. What a way to start the New Year.

Congrats - nice to hear this good update. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here; we sat down together after reading some of the more supportive posts on here (THANK YOU)..thankfully she had asked 3 teachers for recommendations early this school year and those are in her common app, as well as the counselor report. She does work best under pressure but good grief she almost gave me a heart attack. Five schools down, she will be staying home tomorrow until her last 4 are in. I have read her essays and they are really good - ever meet those people that can naturally write and BS? Her stats are good as well; she says she just hit a wall and crashed hard. She was planning on doing them bit by bit but obviously that did not happen.
Thank you again to all of the supportive posters and for those who deemed her not ready for college you should realize that everyone’s situation and child is different. She was responsible enough to get her transcripts uploaded to the common app and her SAT scores sent ages ago so I am proud of her for that. What a way to start the New Year.

WOOT!

[Anonymous]

I don't know of a SINGLE 17 year old who was able to do all this by themselves. And I know some very intelligent, organized, college-focused 17 year olds!

I know some seasoned adults who would struggle if they had to do all that juggling on top of a regular work day, chores and sports (or whatever activities).

All the criticism you've unleashed on teens suffering through this process would be better served by demanding a complete overhaul of college admissions. The rest of the world does it differently. It's not like there aren't any other options!

You are overstating this by a lot. My DS is a senior and did his own spreadsheet and managed his own application process. I definitely checked in but he made it clear he did not want my help. He did have me read his common app and asks for our credit card number when submitting apps. I think he is a great and unique kid but that's because I am his mom - I know that many kids can handle applications themselves. I don't think the system needs a complete overhaul due to it being overly difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to purchase a home or condo in your DC's college town so you can continue the hand holding and hovering. You'll also likely become the type of hovering, interfering, giving advice in-laws that are so frequently criticized on this forum.

How old are your children?

late 30's

This is why I asked. You have absolutely no clue about what the process is. It is completely different. And you’re dealing with kids who are reporting double the amount of mental health issues than when your kids were in high school. The “tough love” approach you’re espousing is not the fix you think it is. Believe me, I am a 56 year old who set up her own college interviews and pretty much did everything without my parents. My spouse and I are very much about empowering our kids to take responsibility. AND the landscape is very different now.

-parent of a 21 & 17 year old

Common App and Computers/internet make it infintily easier than it was when I went through the process, typing applications and essays, not word processing so if you re-purposed an essay, you had to type it directly on to the application form, etc.

Disagree. I had one form to type for each school. What they needed was very clear. If you think the Common App makes it easy, I don’t think you have a kid that’s used it recently. There wasn’t one school where DC could just click and send the Common App. The Common App is just the beginning…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess her first semester will be spent at the local CC or working. Don’t bail her out. She needs to experience the consequences of procrastination.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Not the end of the world.

Didn’t you think it odd you didn’t have any charges for application fees??

Anyway, you can Google for lists of schools that usually have openings in spring or she can go to CC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that was on you. This is high stakes. Trust and verify.

Yeah, but then parents who take a more hands on approach get criticized for being 'helicopter' parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here; we sat down together after reading some of the more supportive posts on here (THANK YOU)..thankfully she had asked 3 teachers for recommendations early this school year and those are in her common app, as well as the counselor report. She does work best under pressure but good grief she almost gave me a heart attack. Five schools down, she will be staying home tomorrow until her last 4 are in. I have read her essays and they are really good - ever meet those people that can naturally write and BS? Her stats are good as well; she says she just hit a wall and crashed hard. She was planning on doing them bit by bit but obviously that did not happen.
Thank you again to all of the supportive posters and for those who deemed her not ready for college you should realize that everyone’s situation and child is different. She was responsible enough to get her transcripts uploaded to the common app and her SAT scores sent ages ago so I am proud of her for that. What a way to start the New Year.

Great News! Thanks for updating. Cheering for you and her.