Anyone wish their spouse was more attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more attractive a man is, the more successful a man is, the more his options increase, and I like that I am really attracted to my DH but not necessarily everyone else is.

I know a really tall, attractive man who is constantly hit on my women. A friend feels sorry for his wife because that's a lot of women to fend off, and sometimes she actively has to!

Yep. My husband has had women chasing him hard since I met him when he was 25. He appeals to women of all ages…still at 51.

I have always been equivalent in looks, fitness, intelligence career- [/b]but women are ruthless. Men seem to respect the ring on a finger more than the women that see it as a “challenge”.

It can be exhausting. And if you lose trust over time…awful.

[b]


This is the raw unadorned truth. Internalized sexism and a desperate clawing at limited resources. The more competitive women become over promotions and seats in political office the better it will be for our daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Women are objectively more attractive than men? Huh?

Yes, I think a woman's body (or appearance) is more attractive than a man's.

So stupid. This is a completely subjective POV. There is absolutely nothing more inherently attractive about women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

DH isn’t ugly but he’s less attractive than me and sometimes I feel annoyed by it for some reason. Or jealous of friends with more attractive husbands. Also, our kids have some of his less attractive features which which I feel annoyed about too sometimes…

I know, I’m horrible. Can anyone relate though? How do I get over it?

How do you know he is less attractive?

Men may pay more attention to you than women do to him. However, this would mean little since men might be paying attention because they sense your contempt and believe you are open to sex.

Women are objectively more attractive than men. Again, this means little since the relevant factor is marketability, meaning which of the two of you is more likely to land a relationship post-divorce is the more important.

Now, marketability could mean who is more likely to find hook-up sex. Clearly, a married woman who is even moderately attractive could find sex easier than an attractive married man.

You think you are hotter? Here is how you get over it. Stop being horrible and cut him free (via divorce.) He will find more women to form relationships with and may find someone who treats him well.

Women are objectively more attractive than men? Huh?

I agree women are objectively more attractive than men. No question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would a mini makeover help him be more attractive again? My husband went from a 4 to a 9 with new haircut, facial hair, and clothes in his best colors (He had no idea). He should have been scooped YEARS before I met him, but other women must not have had vision. The beard is a non-negotiable presence in our marriage. He has lots of sway over my styling in return.

Should she make over her kids too ?

Mommy thinks you're ugly baby we're going to fix you up

I never said a single negative thing. Only positive attention. Works over time. The most basic form for a spouse is, “You look sexy in X.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot sleep with a man I find unattractive. Looks are important, personality is important, hygiene brains, morals are also important to me. I do not care if the person is not too wealthy. MC is fine by me. But, my ovaries would shrivel into dust if the man was unattractive, unclean, dumb, obnoxious or a jerk. Eeeekkk.

That is the reason that I admire the Kardashians. They end up with really hideous looking or weird men. How are they sleeping with them? Or having kids with them? These are women who are not shallow at all.

Similarly, women like Melania who married Donnie. She had to sleep with him at least once or twice, right? That woman has done so much to help her parents out of a communist country and bring them to America. This is for me a great example of filial piety and self sacrifice!

I’m from the region and Slovenia was NEVER a bad place to live. Not ever. Melania is an accomplice to the Trump family’s decades of fraud, she’s no patriot of any country.

[Anonymous]

I wish my husband would lose 40 pounds. I hate that I'm not attracted to him. And no--I'm not that fit. I'm just shallow. We both struggle with our weight, so I don't blame him or think less of him for it. He tries, just like I do. But I can't really help it. He looks more and more like his father to me. He's not an unattractive man, and he's never been skinny. But something about the age and the weight together--I don't know. I really wish I could feel attracted to him again. But it's just not there anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't feel this way at all. For some reason TBH I feel... suspicious probably isn't the right word but I feel something not positive about super good looking men who put more than average effort into their looks.
I have always been way more into personality than looks though, BDE is real to me!

Plus I always wanted to be better looking than my husband so I wouldn't have to be perpetually self conscious about my looks.
I also feel that a lot of men are still attractive as they age while many women lose their looks so it would compound the issue if my DH were already better looking.

Me too. It's a turn off when men spend too much time at the gym. I don't care how good looking they are.

My DH can be as big as he wants ( he is currently about 15 pounds overweight and has a belly) and I will be attracted to him anytime, anywhere. There is so much positive history between us that it's all in my mind at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish my husband would lose 40 pounds. I hate that I'm not attracted to him. And no--I'm not that fit. I'm just shallow. We both struggle with our weight, so I don't blame him or think less of him for it. He tries, just like I do. But I can't really help it. He looks more and more like his father to me. He's not an unattractive man, and he's never been skinny. But something about the age and the weight together--I don't know. I really wish I could feel attracted to him again. But it's just not there anymore.

It's OK, he is not that into you either anymore; you probably remind him of your fat mom. In any case, if he cared, he'd do something about it. But he knows you are disposable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my husband would lose 40 pounds. I hate that I'm not attracted to him. And no--I'm not that fit. I'm just shallow. We both struggle with our weight, so I don't blame him or think less of him for it. He tries, just like I do. But I can't really help it. He looks more and more like his father to me. He's not an unattractive man, and he's never been skinny. But something about the age and the weight together--I don't know. I really wish I could feel attracted to him again. But it's just not there anymore.

It's OK, he is not that into you either anymore; you probably remind him of your fat mom. In any case, if he cared, he'd do something about it. But he knows you are disposable.

uncalled for PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more attractive a man is, the more successful a man is, the more his options increase, and I like that I am really attracted to my DH but not necessarily everyone else is.

I know a really tall, attractive man who is constantly hit on my women. A friend feels sorry for his wife because that's a lot of women to fend off, and sometimes she actively has to!

Yep. My husband has had women chasing him hard since I met him when he was 25. He appeals to women of all ages…still at 51.

I have always been equivalent in looks, fitness, intelligence career- [/b]but women are ruthless. Men seem to respect the ring on a finger more than the women that see it as a “challenge”.

It can be exhausting. And if you lose trust over time…awful.

[b]


This is the raw unadorned truth. Internalized sexism and a desperate clawing at limited resources. The more competitive women become over promotions and seats in political office the better it will be for our daughters.

NP here who hit the last page of this thread and saw this post. My DH is similar and it’s been something we’ve always joked about and dealt with on our terms throughout our 22 year marriage. But I’m starting to think the pressure is becoming worse for him now that he’s hit 50 and it’s become a constant fight for him to battle these crazy younger women on business trips. Just fighting the wolves makes him exhausted. BTW, I trust him implicitly and we both have been aware of this fight for awhile…even amongst our friends prior to marriage.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. My DH looks about 6 months pregnant. It’s annoying because I know he’d be shocked if I gained a big gut. I hate the double standard. And I assumed we would both try to stay in shape for one another. We’ve been married only 5 years so he really let himself go quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my husband would lose 40 pounds. I hate that I'm not attracted to him. And no--I'm not that fit. I'm just shallow. We both struggle with our weight, so I don't blame him or think less of him for it. He tries, just like I do. But I can't really help it. He looks more and more like his father to me. He's not an unattractive man, and he's never been skinny. But something about the age and the weight together--I don't know. I really wish I could feel attracted to him again. But it's just not there anymore.

It's OK, he is not that into you either anymore; you probably remind him of your fat mom. In any case, if he cared, he'd do something about it. But he knows you are disposable.

You’re probably right. Except for the disposable part. We’ve been together for 25 years and don’t have a prenup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more attractive a man is, the more successful a man is, the more his options increase, and I like that I am really attracted to my DH but not necessarily everyone else is.

I know a really tall, attractive man who is constantly hit on my women. A friend feels sorry for his wife because that's a lot of women to fend off, and sometimes she actively has to!

Lies. Ugly, broke men cheat all the time. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Welp, shoulda chose better, hun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my husband would lose 40 pounds. I hate that I'm not attracted to him. And no--I'm not that fit. I'm just shallow. We both struggle with our weight, so I don't blame him or think less of him for it. He tries, just like I do. But I can't really help it. He looks more and more like his father to me. He's not an unattractive man, and he's never been skinny. But something about the age and the weight together--I don't know. I really wish I could feel attracted to him again. But it's just not there anymore.

It's OK, he is not that into you either anymore; you probably remind him of your fat mom. In any case, if he cared, he'd do something about it. But he knows you are disposable.

The bad news is that weight loss might not reignite desire. It is frequently “not there” anymore regardless of his looks/body.