BIL almost hit my 6-yr-old DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

[Anonymous]

Re: BIL almost hit my 6-yr-old DD

First time, last time, only time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay but she DIDN’T get hit. So maybe she was scared for a couple of minutes. That’s not the end of the world. Learning experience.

The learning experience is that the kids need to be, generally, protected while with BIL because he can be unintentionally dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

What on earth. You are projecting big time. OP didn’t say her BIL was a dangerous person. He had a melt down and almost, accidentally hit her daughter. My toddler has accidentally done all kinds of things to me. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be welcome to family meals or that he’s “truly dangerous”. The way some of you are talking about a human being you don’t even know is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

BIL doesn't lose his seat at the table. What truly terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

He has the mental capacity of a 3 year old. What is your problem? Be more understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

Tell me you're absolutely useless without telling me you're absolutely useless. How unfortunate for the SN kids at whatever school you work for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

What on earth. You are projecting big time. OP didn’t say her BIL was a dangerous person. He had a melt down and almost, accidentally hit her daughter. My toddler has accidentally done all kinds of things to me. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be welcome to family meals or that he’s “truly dangerous”. The way some of you are talking about a human being you don’t even know is disturbing.

Seat at the table is a euphemism. You’re projecting, as well. A grown man size person is far more dangerous than an actual toddler throwing a tantrum. None of us know if the BIL is truly dangerous. There needs to be a balance between protecting the kids and including BIL. The kids are humans, too.

Quotation marks go outside the period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

Tell me you're absolutely useless without telling me you're absolutely useless. How unfortunate for the SN kids at whatever school you work for.

Pretty sure you’re the waste of skin. Try using some basic logic skills. If your kid was regularly being hit/kicked in the general Ed classroom by a SN child with behavioral issues, being “supervised” by an uneducated, disgruntled school employee being paid minimum wage, I think you’d feel differently. It’s a nuanced issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

What on earth. You are projecting big time. OP didn’t say her BIL was a dangerous person. He had a melt down and almost, accidentally hit her daughter. My toddler has accidentally done all kinds of things to me. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be welcome to family meals or that he’s “truly dangerous”. The way some of you are talking about a human being you don’t even know is disturbing.

Seat at the table is a euphemism. You’re projecting, as well. A grown man size person is far more dangerous than an actual toddler throwing a tantrum. None of us know if the BIL is truly dangerous. There needs to be a balance between protecting the kids and including BIL. The kids are humans, too.

Quotation marks go outside the period.

There is a balance, BIL promptly left. Nobody was hurt. You're clearly overreacting and being ridiculous over what was a non event. At the very least OP needs to talk to her kids, not the in-laws, about why BIL is different. If she wants to make a simple rule that her kids not sit immediately next to him then just do that. But she doesn't get to get on her soapbox about what is appropriate and not appropriate in a family meeting. They know, which is why he was whisked away. It was handled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

Tell me you're absolutely useless without telling me you're absolutely useless. How unfortunate for the SN kids at whatever school you work for.

Pretty sure you’re the waste of skin. Try using some basic logic skills. If your kid was regularly being hit/kicked in the general Ed classroom by a SN child with behavioral issues, being “supervised” by an uneducated, disgruntled school employee being paid minimum wage, I think you’d feel differently. It’s a nuanced issue.

Nobody was being regularly hit or kick weirdo. Try re-reading the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

What on earth. You are projecting big time. OP didn’t say her BIL was a dangerous person. He had a melt down and almost, accidentally hit her daughter. My toddler has accidentally done all kinds of things to me. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be welcome to family meals or that he’s “truly dangerous”. The way some of you are talking about a human being you don’t even know is disturbing.

Seat at the table is a euphemism. You’re projecting, as well. A grown man size person is far more dangerous than an actual toddler throwing a tantrum. None of us know if the BIL is truly dangerous. There needs to be a balance between protecting the kids and including BIL. The kids are humans, too.

Quotation marks go outside the period.

There is a balance, BIL promptly left. Nobody was hurt. You're clearly overreacting and being ridiculous over what was a non event. At the very least OP needs to talk to her kids, not the in-laws, about why BIL is different. If she wants to make a simple rule that her kids not sit immediately next to him then just do that. But she doesn't get to get on her soapbox about what is appropriate and not appropriate in a family meeting. They know, which is why he was whisked away. It was handled.

The OP gets to make every decision about what happens to her kids. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be the outlier here.

OP, although the title of your post was poorly worded, if your instincts are telling you your daughter was in danger…trust your instincts. Regardless of the circumstances (e.g. disabled BIL, accidental hit) your daughter would have been hurt. I’m sure this was very scary for your kids. Kids come first over adults, disabled on not.

The time with this BIL would be very limited in controlled environments until the kids are older. No staying at our place on weekends. My sympathies, this is tough. But, your first responsibility is to your kids.

No. OPs instincts are crap and she deserves to get called out for it. OP and her husband need to talk to their own kids about the uncle and set expectations appropriately. OP and her kids need to work on empathy, acceptance, and inclusion. Mama Bear needs to sit down and shut up.

You sound like a very refined and thoughtful person. It must be that you know what you’re talking about. 🙄

When a disabled person can be unpredictable and dangerous, they lose the right to a seat at the table. This should be the case with inclusion programs in public school, also. I’ve worked with way too many truly dangerous kids in the school system that are unsafe for kids in general ed. While inclusion is absolutely a wonderful concept, it can be taken to an extreme that is inappropriate. A grown man throwing fits like a toddler may not be safe around children.

What on earth. You are projecting big time. OP didn’t say her BIL was a dangerous person. He had a melt down and almost, accidentally hit her daughter. My toddler has accidentally done all kinds of things to me. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be welcome to family meals or that he’s “truly dangerous”. The way some of you are talking about a human being you don’t even know is disturbing.

Seat at the table is a euphemism. You’re projecting, as well. A grown man size person is far more dangerous than an actual toddler throwing a tantrum. None of us know if the BIL is truly dangerous. There needs to be a balance between protecting the kids and including BIL. The kids are humans, too.

Quotation marks go outside the period.

There is a balance, BIL promptly left. Nobody was hurt. You're clearly overreacting and being ridiculous over what was a non event. At the very least OP needs to talk to her kids, not the in-laws, about why BIL is different. If she wants to make a simple rule that her kids not sit immediately next to him then just do that. But she doesn't get to get on her soapbox about what is appropriate and not appropriate in a family meeting. They know, which is why he was whisked away. It was handled.

The OP gets to make every decision about what happens to her kids. Period.

She does, but that's not what's she's asking about. She wants a family meeting about "appropriate" behavior. OP says "something needs to be said." Yes, to her own kids, she doesn't get to stage an intervention over BIL which is what she's itching for.