How to get noticed by your own coaches?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

If the coach had swam the girl with the slower time, that would have shown favoritism. In swimming it’s all based on times. The HS coach did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

My swimmer does the 500 free, and is sad to miss her friend (and counter) for States. My only point here is that people shouldn't be so sanctimonious about how swim is SO MUCH better because stuff like this NEVER happens in swim. It does in HS. My kid's friend was fifth at time trials in the 50 then never got another chance, when her club time would put her faster. There was a different swimmer on our team who was on a relay, got replaced, but then never got to swim the event again where they could have gotten a spot back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

My swimmer does the 500 free, and is sad to miss her friend (and counter) for States. My only point here is that people shouldn't be so sanctimonious about how swim is SO MUCH better because stuff like this NEVER happens in swim. It does in HS. My kid's friend was fifth at time trials in the 50 then never got another chance, when her club time would put her faster. There was a different swimmer on our team who was on a relay, got replaced, but then never got to swim the event again where they could have gotten a spot back.

This is entirely different though than the “daddy ball” and favoritism decisions that get made in team sports that aren’t timed. You’re talking about scenarios where the kid didn’t have the fastest HS times and is upset that they didn’t get additional chances to swim it and try to overtake the kids in front of her, but the bottom line is the HS time she put down was slower. When someone loses a relay slot because another kid has gotten a faster time, that’s just how it works, it’s not the coach’s responsibility to put that swimmer back in the event over the kids with faster times just to see if they can overtake the other kids. Especially when they can use that swimmer in another event.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

My swimmer does the 500 free, and is sad to miss her friend (and counter) for States. My only point here is that people shouldn't be so sanctimonious about how swim is SO MUCH better because stuff like this NEVER happens in swim. It does in HS. My kid's friend was fifth at time trials in the 50 then never got another chance, when her club time would put her faster. There was a different swimmer on our team who was on a relay, got replaced, but then never got to swim the event again where they could have gotten a spot back.

I can say with near 100% certainty that these things do not happen in sports like swimming, tennis, and golf.  Swimming is based on timing, tennis is based on the score and golf is based on stroke play.  NO coaches would be blatantly put an inferior swimmer, tennis player or golfer, ahead of the better one.  Doing so would certainly invite scrutiny from parents, and may be a lawsuit as well. 

I used to coach HS tennis at a big 3 private school in the DMV, and every falls during the girls tennis tryout, I have to record all results of the matches during the tryouts on paper and announced at the end each day of the tryouts so that everyone knows where they stand that day,  Even then, there were parents complained as to why their kids didn't get the top four slots for single or top 6th for double.  These parents pay 50K/year in private school costs so they want their kids to play; however, when they were shown the result of match play, they dropped the complaint.   It is very hard, if not impossible to have favoritism or nepotism in individual sport because the record does not lie. 

Teamsport is another matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

My swimmer does the 500 free, and is sad to miss her friend (and counter) for States. My only point here is that people shouldn't be so sanctimonious about how swim is SO MUCH better because stuff like this NEVER happens in swim. It does in HS. My kid's friend was fifth at time trials in the 50 then never got another chance, when her club time would put her faster. There was a different swimmer on our team who was on a relay, got replaced, but then never got to swim the event again where they could have gotten a spot back.

This is entirely different though than the “daddy ball” and favoritism decisions that get made in team sports that aren’t timed. You’re talking about scenarios where the kid didn’t have the fastest HS times and is upset that they didn’t get additional chances to swim it and try to overtake the kids in front of her, but the bottom line is the HS time she put down was slower. When someone loses a relay slot because another kid has gotten a faster time, that’s just how it works, it’s not the coach’s responsibility to put that swimmer back in the event over the kids with faster times just to see if they can overtake the other kids. Especially when they can use that swimmer in another event.

+1

During the season, a slower swimmer is allowed "one" challenge another swimmer up to two spots above him/her.  If he/she fails, that swimmer slot will be set for the whole season.  If he/she succeeds, the spot of the previous swimmer is his/her, and he/she can continue to challenge the next swimmer, up to two spots above his/her current standing.  If he/she fails, the challenge stops. 

This takes place outside of the competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, this can also be an issue in HS swimming. If you aren't chosen by the coaches to swim your best events, then you never have a time for them. My daughters friend is good at the 50 free-- never swam it in a dual meet, so didn't get to go to districts/regionals, and isn't on the 4x50 free relay that will go to States...

That does not make sense to me. Is your daughter the fastest swimmer on the team? The fastest swimmer gets to start. The clock does not lie and coaches can not prevent your DD from starting if that is the case.

+1, is your DDs friend faster at the 50 free than the other girls on her team? Or is she just good at the 50 free, and maybe if she had a chance to do it in a dual meet she could edge out one of the other girls?

Club time is fast enough to edge out another girl. But she swam 200 IM all season. She doesn't have a HS 50 free time other than try out day, which wasn't her best swim. You do not get to pick your own events in HS swim!

So your DD didn't have her best time at tryout day, that's why she didn't get selected, perfectly legit to me. If she had the fastest time on tryout day, the coach had no choice. The clock does not lie.

Coaches can not pick someone with a slower time to start ahead of someone with a faster time. The school invites a potential lawsuit if it does that. And yes, you get to pick your own events in HS event if you're the fastest swimmer in all categories on your team, you have the option to decline certain events in order to focus on the one that you think will give you the best chance as long as you are the fastest swimmer on the team, all options are on the table. FWIW, my DD is on the swim team in FCPS and she is the fastest swimmer on the team so the coach can not sit her, unless she takes herself out of an event.

The point is that she IS one of the four fastest girls in 50 freestyle. The coaches did not select her to swim that event all season. She wasn't sitting there bench in dual meets, but wasn't good enough in the events she was selected to swim to make finals at districts and so didn't get to go to regionals. It's not as black and white as you'd like to portray- there is still Coach decision and, yes, potentially favoritism.

HS swim is a quasi team sport. I’m guessing because your DD is a club swimmer they needed her more in events like the 200 IM than they did in the 50 free, which you don’t need to be a committed club swimmer to excel at. The 200 IM on the other hand, the average seasonal swimmer is generally not going to excel at that.

Every kid on our HS team is a club swimmer. My DD's friend would have been interchangable with any number of swimmers for many different events. For whatever reason, she did not get noticed by coaches to swim the 50 free.

Honestly you sound like an exhausting swim parent. She didn’t swim as well as the other girls at their time trials for the 50 Free, so they slotted her into other events. You are basically saying these coaches should have ignored the other girls’ faster HS 50 Free times and slotted your DD in to have another chance to post a better time. Maybe that would have been nice of them to do, but they are by no means out of bounds for not doing that.

My swimmer does the 500 free, and is sad to miss her friend (and counter) for States. My only point here is that people shouldn't be so sanctimonious about how swim is SO MUCH better because stuff like this NEVER happens in swim. It does in HS. My kid's friend was fifth at time trials in the 50 then never got another chance, when her club time would put her faster. There was a different swimmer on our team who was on a relay, got replaced, but then never got to swim the event again where they could have gotten a spot back.

This is entirely different though than the “daddy ball” and favoritism decisions that get made in team sports that aren’t timed. You’re talking about scenarios where the kid didn’t have the fastest HS times and is upset that they didn’t get additional chances to swim it and try to overtake the kids in front of her, but the bottom line is the HS time she put down was slower. When someone loses a relay slot because another kid has gotten a faster time, that’s just how it works, it’s not the coach’s responsibility to put that swimmer back in the event over the kids with faster times just to see if they can overtake the other kids. Especially when they can use that swimmer in another event.

Except that in dual meets, the fastest four in every event do not swim that event, because they are generally fastest in multiple events. Kids slower that that girl did swim the 50 free throughout the seasonvas the 3rd and 4th swimmers for the event. She never got another chance after time trials because of being put in the event directly before. Could be bad luck, could be favoritism, could be she rubbed some Coach the wrong way, could be she didn't speak up and let them know she didn't like the 200 im. But it's not black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Except that in dual meets, the fastest four in every event do not swim that event, because they are generally fastest in multiple events. Kids slower that that girl did swim the 50 free throughout the season was the 3rd and 4th swimmers for the event. She never got another chance after time trials because of being put in the event directly before. Could be bad luck, could be favoritism, could be she rubbed some Coach the wrong way, could be she didn't speak up and let them know she didn't like the 200 im. But it's not black and white.

Don't they go through the list and get the next fastest swimmer? If what you said is true, it will not sit well with parents and the school might get sued for it.

I just don't buy it because the clock does NOT lie. I don't think the coach is stupid enough to do something like this because in this day of social media, it is going to draw negative attention very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Except that in dual meets, the fastest four in every event do not swim that event, because they are generally fastest in multiple events. Kids slower that that girl did swim the 50 free throughout the season was the 3rd and 4th swimmers for the event. She never got another chance after time trials because of being put in the event directly before. Could be bad luck, could be favoritism, could be she rubbed some Coach the wrong way, could be she didn't speak up and let them know she didn't like the 200 im. But it's not black and white.

Don't they go through the list and get the next fastest swimmer? If what you said is true, it will not sit well with parents and the school might get sued for it.

I just don't buy it because the clock does NOT lie. I don't think the coach is stupid enough to do something like this because in this day of social media, it is going to draw negative attention very quickly.

They would do this for a kid without two individual events- if two kids only have one event, whichever is faster will swim the event with an empty slot. You do not get to choose which two events. If the coaches have decided you are swimming 200 im and 100 breast every meet, you will not be in the 50 free and will not have another chance to get a time or break in to a relay. You have no grounds to complain. And no one can sue over HS swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Except that in dual meets, the fastest four in every event do not swim that event, because they are generally fastest in multiple events. Kids slower that that girl did swim the 50 free throughout the season was the 3rd and 4th swimmers for the event. She never got another chance after time trials because of being put in the event directly before. Could be bad luck, could be favoritism, could be she rubbed some Coach the wrong way, could be she didn't speak up and let them know she didn't like the 200 im. But it's not black and white.

Don't they go through the list and get the next fastest swimmer? If what you said is true, it will not sit well with parents and the school might get sued for it.

I just don't buy it because the clock does NOT lie. I don't think the coach is stupid enough to do something like this because in this day of social media, it is going to draw negative attention very quickly.

They would do this for a kid without two individual events- if two kids only have one event, whichever is faster will swim the event with an empty slot. You do not get to choose which two events. If the coaches have decided you are swimming 200 im and 100 breast every meet, you will not be in the 50 free and will not have another chance to get a time or break in to a relay. You have no grounds to complain. And no one can sue over HS swim.

This is where HS differs from club swim. They are choosing who swims say the 200 IM and 100 Breast based on the needs of the team, not individual goals. Nothing you’ve said is demonstrating a coach playing favorites or not being objective when it comes to what’s best for the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is stuck in a pattern in which at the beginning of a year or season, coaches are really excited about her attitude and potential. She works super hard, shows up with a positive but aggressive attitude every day, and is renlentless in trying to execute what the coaches ask her to do.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons in more than one sport with different coaches, I’ve noticed a pattern. As the season goes on, coaches’ attention gravitates to everyone but her. The main reasons I notice is that coaches give focused attention to girls who are behind in certain areas, and to girls who have behavioral problems/bad attitudes/slack off.

The recipients of the negative attention especially seem to bloom athletically. Worse yet, even when their attitudes or work ethic doesn’t change, the coaches just seem to eventually shrug it off since their performance improves with all of the extra attention. The girls who are behind benefit from the 1:1 attention and the coaches notice their progress since it’s so obvious.

On an objective basis, my daughter is consistently in the top 1/3rd of her teams skill-wise and athletically at the start of the season, and coaches always compliment her attitude and work ethic. But as the season progresses, she kind of disappears and the coaches forget about her. She loses playing time and eventually loses confidence. This has happened 3-4 times.

I think that because she isn’t a jerk or a superstar, but also isn’t totally struggling, it’s hurting her. Is there something about her attitude or mindset that she can work on to help the coaches “see” her?

What motivates a coach to invest in an athlete?

OP I am sorry but it is you and your kid, not the others.

If your kid is not getting play time that is because the other kids are better. Coaches are not playing those unruly kids to lose. They play what they consider the best to win.

Winning is the ticket and they don't think your kid has what it takes.

I am not trying to be mean. It's reality. Of course, there are some favorites on every time, however, you said this has happened more than once. A pattern...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is stuck in a pattern in which at the beginning of a year or season, coaches are really excited about her attitude and potential. She works super hard, shows up with a positive but aggressive attitude every day, and is renlentless in trying to execute what the coaches ask her to do.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons in more than one sport with different coaches, I’ve noticed a pattern. As the season goes on, coaches’ attention gravitates to everyone but her. The main reasons I notice is that coaches give focused attention to girls who are behind in certain areas, and to girls who have behavioral problems/bad attitudes/slack off.

The recipients of the negative attention especially seem to bloom athletically. Worse yet, even when their attitudes or work ethic doesn’t change, the coaches just seem to eventually shrug it off since their performance improves with all of the extra attention. The girls who are behind benefit from the 1:1 attention and the coaches notice their progress since it’s so obvious.

On an objective basis, my daughter is consistently in the top 1/3rd of her teams skill-wise and athletically at the start of the season, and coaches always compliment her attitude and work ethic. But as the season progresses, she kind of disappears and the coaches forget about her. She loses playing time and eventually loses confidence. This has happened 3-4 times.

I think that because she isn’t a jerk or a superstar, but also isn’t totally struggling, it’s hurting her. Is there something about her attitude or mindset that she can work on to help the coaches “see” her?

What motivates a coach to invest in an athlete?

OP I am sorry but it is you and your kid, not the others.

If your kid is not getting play time that is because the other kids are better. Coaches are not playing those unruly kids to lose. They play what they consider the best to win.

Winning is the ticket and they don't think your kid has what it takes.

I am not trying to be mean. It's reality. Of course, there are some favorites on every time, however, you said this has happened more than once. A pattern...

This is . . . . just not the case on many, many, MANY travel teams. Favorites, including relatives, are often played regardless of skill, attitude, etc. The entire travel thing (and HS teams that draw from those clubs) has been nauseatingly eye-opening on this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is stuck in a pattern in which at the beginning of a year or season, coaches are really excited about her attitude and potential. She works super hard, shows up with a positive but aggressive attitude every day, and is renlentless in trying to execute what the coaches ask her to do.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons in more than one sport with different coaches, I’ve noticed a pattern. As the season goes on, coaches’ attention gravitates to everyone but her. The main reasons I notice is that coaches give focused attention to girls who are behind in certain areas, and to girls who have behavioral problems/bad attitudes/slack off.

The recipients of the negative attention especially seem to bloom athletically. Worse yet, even when their attitudes or work ethic doesn’t change, the coaches just seem to eventually shrug it off since their performance improves with all of the extra attention. The girls who are behind benefit from the 1:1 attention and the coaches notice their progress since it’s so obvious.

On an objective basis, my daughter is consistently in the top 1/3rd of her teams skill-wise and athletically at the start of the season, and coaches always compliment her attitude and work ethic. But as the season progresses, she kind of disappears and the coaches forget about her. She loses playing time and eventually loses confidence. This has happened 3-4 times.

I think that because she isn’t a jerk or a superstar, but also isn’t totally struggling, it’s hurting her. Is there something about her attitude or mindset that she can work on to help the coaches “see” her?

What motivates a coach to invest in an athlete?

OP I am sorry but it is you and your kid, not the others.

If your kid is not getting play time that is because the other kids are better. Coaches are not playing those unruly kids to lose. They play what they consider the best to win.

Winning is the ticket and they don't think your kid has what it takes.

I am not trying to be mean. It's reality. Of course, there are some favorites on every time, however, you said this has happened more than once. A pattern...

What if the team is losing ?? We have been on teams where with the starting lineup they give up goals; many in the first few minutes and when they put the subs in they don't. The subs get way less playing time. My son was lead scorer on a team where he played about 60-70% less than the kids ahead of him and even was the league winning goal and championship goal in many games. He is a good, modest kid that is very coachable. The starters either had busybody parents or were just huge physically but not a lot of skill or fied smarts.

It was easy to leave and find another team. I wouldn't keep my kid in a bad dynamic. It really messes with their head and starts to drive the love of the game out of them if they are there a long time.

I'm not talking about situations where there are better kids playing ahead of them. We have been in those situations and the kid understood and had a goal to work for. That is what develops grit and perseverance. Staying in situations with a d*ck coach or tons of club politics and BS does not. In fact, the latter is more mentally confusing and f-d up when they are lied to. It gives them balls to walk away from a situation like that and find a new solution--new team, new trainers, etc once the season is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is stuck in a pattern in which at the beginning of a year or season, coaches are really excited about her attitude and potential. She works super hard, shows up with a positive but aggressive attitude every day, and is renlentless in trying to execute what the coaches ask her to do.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons in more than one sport with different coaches, I’ve noticed a pattern. As the season goes on, coaches’ attention gravitates to everyone but her. The main reasons I notice is that coaches give focused attention to girls who are behind in certain areas, and to girls who have behavioral problems/bad attitudes/slack off.

The recipients of the negative attention especially seem to bloom athletically. Worse yet, even when their attitudes or work ethic doesn’t change, the coaches just seem to eventually shrug it off since their performance improves with all of the extra attention. The girls who are behind benefit from the 1:1 attention and the coaches notice their progress since it’s so obvious.

On an objective basis, my daughter is consistently in the top 1/3rd of her teams skill-wise and athletically at the start of the season, and coaches always compliment her attitude and work ethic. But as the season progresses, she kind of disappears and the coaches forget about her. She loses playing time and eventually loses confidence. This has happened 3-4 times.

I think that because she isn’t a jerk or a superstar, but also isn’t totally struggling, it’s hurting her. Is there something about her attitude or mindset that she can work on to help the coaches “see” her?

What motivates a coach to invest in an athlete?

OP I am sorry but it is you and your kid, not the others.

If your kid is not getting play time that is because the other kids are better. Coaches are not playing those unruly kids to lose. They play what they consider the best to win.

Winning is the ticket and they don't think your kid has what it takes.

I am not trying to be mean. It's reality. Of course, there are some favorites on every time, however, you said this has happened more than once. A pattern...

This is . . . . just not the case on many, many, MANY travel teams. Favorites, including relatives, are often played regardless of skill, attitude, etc. The entire travel thing (and HS teams that draw from those clubs) has been nauseatingly eye-opening on this point.

+1

It was reaffirming when my kid had many D1/D3 offers to consider and ZERO high school or former club team kids did. It's just not the case in some highly politicized sports where you even see this kind of sh*t all the way up to the National team level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is stuck in a pattern in which at the beginning of a year or season, coaches are really excited about her attitude and potential. She works super hard, shows up with a positive but aggressive attitude every day, and is renlentless in trying to execute what the coaches ask her to do.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons in more than one sport with different coaches, I’ve noticed a pattern. As the season goes on, coaches’ attention gravitates to everyone but her. The main reasons I notice is that coaches give focused attention to girls who are behind in certain areas, and to girls who have behavioral problems/bad attitudes/slack off.

The recipients of the negative attention especially seem to bloom athletically. Worse yet, even when their attitudes or work ethic doesn’t change, the coaches just seem to eventually shrug it off since their performance improves with all of the extra attention. The girls who are behind benefit from the 1:1 attention and the coaches notice their progress since it’s so obvious.

On an objective basis, my daughter is consistently in the top 1/3rd of her teams skill-wise and athletically at the start of the season, and coaches always compliment her attitude and work ethic. But as the season progresses, she kind of disappears and the coaches forget about her. She loses playing time and eventually loses confidence. This has happened 3-4 times.

I think that because she isn’t a jerk or a superstar, but also isn’t totally struggling, it’s hurting her. Is there something about her attitude or mindset that she can work on to help the coaches “see” her?

What motivates a coach to invest in an athlete?

OP I am sorry but it is you and your kid, not the others.

If your kid is not getting play time that is because the other kids are better. Coaches are not playing those unruly kids to lose. They play what they consider the best to win.

Winning is the ticket and they don't think your kid has what it takes.

I am not trying to be mean. It's reality. Of course, there are some favorites on every time, however, you said this has happened more than once. A pattern...

Real coaches bench even the superstars when they misbehave, all the way up to the professional level. A good coach doesn't put up with that crap. IT undermines his authority and creates animosity on the team and amongst teammates. We have seen it on our teams (basketball) that are ranked in the top 10 in the nation. It's these super pay to play crap teams that will create these mini prima donnas with parents to match that get away with their temper tantrums. We have seen the college coaches will not recruit these kids.