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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is stuck in a pattern in which at the beginning of a year or season, coaches are really excited about her attitude and potential. She works super hard, shows up with a positive but aggressive attitude every day, and is renlentless in trying to execute what the coaches ask her to do.

Unfortunately, after a couple of seasons in more than one sport with different coaches, I’ve noticed a pattern. As the season goes on, coaches’ attention gravitates to everyone but her. The main reasons I notice is that coaches give focused attention to girls who are behind in certain areas, and to girls who have behavioral problems/bad attitudes/slack off.

The recipients of the negative attention especially seem to bloom athletically. Worse yet, even when their attitudes or work ethic doesn’t change, the coaches just seem to eventually shrug it off since their performance improves with all of the extra attention. The girls who are behind benefit from the 1:1 attention and the coaches notice their progress since it’s so obvious.

On an objective basis, my daughter is consistently in the top 1/3rd of her teams skill-wise and athletically at the start of the season, and coaches always compliment her attitude and work ethic. But as the season progresses, she kind of disappears and the coaches forget about her. She loses playing time and eventually loses confidence. This has happened 3-4 times.

I think that because she isn’t a jerk or a superstar, but also isn’t totally struggling, it’s hurting her. Is there something about her attitude or mindset that she can work on to help the coaches “see” her?

What motivates a coach to invest in an athlete?[/quote]

OP I am sorry but it is you and your kid, not the others.

If your kid is not getting play time that is because the other kids are better. Coaches are not playing those unruly kids to lose. They play what they consider the best to win.

Winning is the ticket and they don't think your kid has what it takes.

I am not trying to be mean. It's reality. Of course, there are some favorites on every time, however, you said this has happened more than once. A pattern...[/quote]

What if the team is losing  :lol:  :lol: ??  We have been on teams where with the starting lineup they give up goals; many in the first few minutes and when they put the subs in they don't.  The subs get way less playing time.  My son was lead scorer on a team where he played about 60-70% less than the kids ahead of him and even was the league winning goal and championship goal in many games.  He is a good, modest kid that is very coachable.  The starters either had busybody parents or were just huge physically but not a lot of skill or fied smarts.

It was easy to leave and find another team.  I wouldn't keep my kid in a bad dynamic. It really messes with their head and starts to drive the love of the game out of them if they are there a long time.

I'm not talking about situations where there are better kids playing ahead of them.  We have been in those situations and the kid understood and had a goal to work for.  That is what develops grit and perseverance.  Staying in situations with a d*ck coach or tons of club politics and BS does not.  In fact, the latter is more mentally confusing and f-d up when they are lied to.  It gives them balls to walk away from a situation like that and find a new solution--new team, new trainers, etc once the season is over.[/quote]

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