Pronouns? Do you visibly share yours?

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher and yes in my school email so that students feel comfortable sharing theirs if they would like. I would never make anyone do it or ask their pronouns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the pronoun idiots realize how they're being offensive?

If you require everyone to list a pronoun, you could force someone who isn't ready to come out to come out. And then they'll feel uncomfortable. They can't not most their pronouns either, because then they'd get on some progresisve's s list as some sort of Trump supporter when in reality they just do not want to reveal anything about their sexual orientation because they aren't ready yet.

Do your damn work and stop caring about who people sleep with in bed.

Curious if there are any closeted people who care to weigh in on this. My general view is that it is totally harmless for me to share my pronouns, but if not, perhaps I will reconsider.

I'm not closeted but I've thought of this before. There are ways that "support" can go awry. For example, DH's (very large) employer asked his office to maintain a list of people in the LGBTQIA+ community so they can meet their metrics of diversity outreach. DH is very wary of that. So many pitfalls.

My DS is gay and his preferred pronoun is the one assigned at birth so no issues there. But, what if it wasn't? What if he would prefer she/her but he wasn't quite ready to shout it from the rooftops? Instead, he would have to actively claim he/him as his preference even though it would go against everything that he feels.

So, I think people should do it or not based on whatever they want to do. No pressure. No expectation.

Respectfully, this all seems like self-justification. Non-closeted people justifying their behavior by concluding that it is what closeted people would want them to do. I'm hoping we can get some actual first-hand perspective on this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the pronoun idiots realize how they're being offensive?

If you require everyone to list a pronoun, you could force someone who isn't ready to come out to come out. And then they'll feel uncomfortable. They can't not most their pronouns either, because then they'd get on some progresisve's s list as some sort of Trump supporter when in reality they just do not want to reveal anything about their sexual orientation because they aren't ready yet.

Do your damn work and stop caring about who people sleep with in bed.

Curious if there are any closeted people who care to weigh in on this. My general view is that it is totally harmless for me to share my pronouns, but if not, perhaps I will reconsider.

I'm not closeted but I've thought of this before. There are ways that "support" can go awry. For example, DH's (very large) employer asked his office to maintain a list of people in the LGBTQIA+ community so they can meet their metrics of diversity outreach. DH is very wary of that. So many pitfalls.

My DS is gay and his preferred pronoun is the one assigned at birth so no issues there. But, what if it wasn't? What if he would prefer she/her but he wasn't quite ready to shout it from the rooftops? Instead, he would have to actively claim he/him as his preference even though it would go against everything that he feels.

So, I think people should do it or not based on whatever they want to do. No pressure. No expectation.

Respectfully, this all seems like self-justification. Non-closeted people justifying their behavior by concluding that it is what closeted people would want them to do. I'm hoping we can get some actual first-hand perspective on this question.

I'm the PP and that's fair and I agree. This is all self-justification.

[Anonymous]

I do not put it in my email signiature line. I do not need my gender to be my defining characterisitc that I put out there for everyone. We took the sex / gender field off of CVs but now it needs to be in every email?

After women fighitng so long for equality, I don't need to let everyone know they should read my email through the lens of woman writing this. I don't have a strong gender identity at all (if any really) so I don't need people to be thinking she/her when they read anything from me. It just isn't that defining for me.

And most of the time, emails are direct and names are used and pronouns aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have your pronouns in your email or other places?

I know a trainer who requires students use pronouns to be inclusive yet I wonder what if I am a "they" and don't want to share my pronouns? Then, I will lie to protect myself or not attend the training. That doesn't feel inclusive to me.

--Do people feel better when pronouns are shared?
--Is sharing pronouns always an inclusive act? Sometimes, the way people do it appears performative to me.

Some problem think pronoun usage is non inclusive.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My pronouns are "I" and "me"

[Anonymous]

Use the pronoun you feel comfortable with others using.

If it’s she now and they later that is fine.

It’s not that deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use the pronoun you feel comfortable with others using.

If it’s she now and they later that is fine.

It’s not that deep.

Meh.

Here's a deep thought for you:

I believe I am still free to just skip the whole pronoun ridiculousness altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My name is obviously female.

The only people I see doing this in my workplace are people who identify as female and who’s names are obviously female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s not immediately obvious by my frilly traditional first name that is obviously feminine, then perhaps my 33EEE bustline and fashion choices and long, styled hair and manicured nails would leave no doubt.

I’m not putting my pronoun preferences on my name tag, business cards, email signature and I especially will opt out of stating my pronouns during introductions on Zoom business meetings.

I believe in calling people what they wish to be called and will politely and graciously follow stated pronoun and name preferences for anyone who specifies a preference.

That's great that you respect what others want to be called. And I agree people shouldn't have to provide their pronouns. But I think an idea of pronouns is not to assume that a person with a frilly name, large cheat and certain fashion choices identifies as female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not put it in my email signiature line. I do not need my gender to be my defining characterisitc that I put out there for everyone. We took the sex / gender field off of CVs but now it needs to be in every email?

After women fighitng so long for equality, I don't need to let everyone know they should read my email through the lens of woman writing this. I don't have a strong gender identity at all (if any really) so I don't need people to be thinking she/her when they read anything from me. It just isn't that defining for me.

And most of the time, emails are direct and names are used and pronouns aren't.

+1!

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t share my pronouns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not put it in my email signiature line. I do not need my gender to be my defining characterisitc that I put out there for everyone. We took the sex / gender field off of CVs but now it needs to be in every email?

After women fighitng so long for equality, I don't need to let everyone know they should read my email through the lens of woman writing this. I don't have a strong gender identity at all (if any really) so I don't need people to be thinking she/her when they read anything from me. It just isn't that defining for me.

And most of the time, emails are direct and names are used and pronouns aren't.

+1!

Thank you for pointing out what has been bothering me about all this gender stuff that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Gender shouldn’t be something important in the workplace. And sexual preferences definitely shouldn’t. I don’t need to know what turns you on sexually when you’re my colleague. The idea of people leading with pronouns and then broadcasting which gender they want to sleep with around the office (queer clubs etc) is really strange and very unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

If you’re working for me I’m probably not even going to remember your name, let alone your pronouns. Neither matter to me. Just do what I pay you for.

[Anonymous]

No. Will not do this.